rhythmjunky's definitions

Quantitative cheesing

The consumption of large amounts of dairy product.

Patient: "I'm massively lactose intolerant; what can I do?"
Doctor: "I recommend a course of quantitative cheesing."
Patient: "But... isn't that going to make things worse?"
Doctor: "Yep!"

by RhythmJunky August 16, 2010

Speed rodding

A quickie; sex, when time is a factor.

First man: "Hey, how did it go with that girl last night, is she a stayer?"

Second man: "Naaaah... only managed to squeeze in some brief speed rodding and then she got away."

Presenter: "...and your specialist subject?"

Contenstant: "Speed rodding."

by RhythmJunky May 24, 2010

Brown Midas

A person whose touch, rather than turning everything to gold, turns everything to shit.

"How the hell does that guy stay in a job? He relentlessly heads up shit pile after shit pile."

"No idea mate. Proper brown midas going on there."

by rhythmjunky February 12, 2013

Grand National

A phrase used to describe an undesirable outcome of a mix when the beats clash due to the two tracks not being correctly in time. The resulting output of beats at irregular times is likened to multiple horses running, and hence the phrase Grand National.

"Grand National!" - simple shout to make others aware that the shoutee has in fact identified some poor mixing skills by the DJ.

"That first tune was pretty sweet but there was a massive Grand National at the end of it."

by RhythmJunky February 1, 2009

Thrown kebab

A lady's bits that are extremely loose and resemble a doner kebab that has been thrown across quite some distance. The most extreme kebab reference - Kebab being normal, Dropped Kebab next and then Thrown Kebab.

"Turns out that ropey girl I pulled last night had a thrown kebab, so I had to bail!"

by RhythmJunky October 20, 2008

Ground Zero

The close proximity around a person who has just expelled exceedingly unpleasant gases from their anal passage. Also the site of splashdown while offloading previous meals into the toilet.

"I'd give it five minutes mate, it's Ground Zero in there."

"Oh god, sorry mate, it's Ground Zero in my pants" (wafts in colleagues' face)

by RhythmJunky April 4, 2009

Gashpoint

An Automated Teller Machine (ATM) that charges it's users for the privilege of drawing out cash. Usually located a long distance from its free equivalent (Cashpoint), it is designed to force the user to have to pay money in order to obtain money.

"Gotta get some cash mate, is that an ATM down there?"

"Yeah, but it's a Gashpoint."

"Bollocks, I'll wait until I get into town then."

by RhythmJunky December 22, 2008