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plus-size albert's definitions

LVUSD

A school district in the southwest pocket of Los Angeles County, CA (Agoura Hills, Westlake Village, Calabasas, Eastern Conejo valley). It has many glaring problems. Including, but not limited to, the higher-ups being so hippie-dippy that they do not having ANY security at any of their schools. The only "security" that the schools have are the local sheriff's deputies, who could care less about their jobs because they are completely powerless. It's also famous for having abusive teachers who will scream at you for just accidently wandering into the teacher's lounge, or will yank your arm around because you aren't understanding a math problem. Though they don't get in trouble, because when something happens, they just get transferred to a different school like aggressive killer whales at sea world. The principle of Lindero Canyon Middle School was transferred, not because of business reasons, but because of how much she bullied kids and just didn't do her job correctly. In fact, I think she got PROMOTED. The teachers who aren't straight-up abusive are far-left commies that will shove "America bad" propaganda down your throat any chance they get. Students who do things like...... THROW WATER AT TEACHERS, DO get arrested by the school cop, but they are allowed to show up in class the next day so that the school can maintain it's "blue ribbon schools" status. If you are able to survive any of the schools belonging to this district, then you have my FULL respect.
"LVUSD is a great school district!" -clueless soccer mom
by plus-size albert January 2, 2021
mugGet the LVUSDmug.

Agoura Hills, CA

A small southern California city in Los Angeles County. It has a population of 20,000 and life here is somewhere in-between living in a charming small town, and EVERYTHING WRONG with a suburb. It's filled with nice but clueless adults and cool but sketchy teens. If many people would take five seconds to look away from the big houses and palm trees, you would see that it's not uncommon to find a used needle next to the sidewalk or have a bottle thrown at you while walking through a parking lot.
"Agoura Hills, CA has excellent schools! :)" - Clueless parent
by plus-size albert November 20, 2020
mugGet the Agoura Hills, CAmug.

Agoura Hills, CA

A small southern California city in Los Angeles County. It has a population of 20,000 and life here is somewhere in-between living in a charming small town, and EVERYTHING WRONG with a suburb. It's filled with nice but clueless adults and cool but sketchy teens. If many people would take five seconds to look away from the big houses and palm trees, you would see that it's not uncommon to find a used needle next to the sidewalk or have a bottle thrown at you while walking through a parking lot.
"Agoura Hills, CA has excellent schools! :)" - Clueless parent
by plus-size albert November 20, 2020
mugGet the Agoura Hills, CAmug.

Lindero Canyon Middle School

A middle school in western Agoura Hills, CA. It's mascot is the cougar and is classified as the slightly less awful version of AE Wright middle school. Half the kids look like they should be in high school and the other half, SHOULD be in juvenile hall. It seems that the school believes that throwing water at a teacher AND getting arrested by the school cop in the same afternoon in front of the school is not enough to even suspend them. The school also doesn't believe that students are worthy of seats either, so any time you are called into the multi purpose room, you have to sit on the floor like a bunch of first graders. It's not all bad, though. You have the pep squad, which is basically a bunch of girls in shorts and jerseys dancing proactively to whiny pop music. Also you have a prominent skating culture here, and what that means, is that you have a pretty good chance on having 3'4 shrimp with daddy issues bailing right on you while walking passed any staircase with a railing. But it's a blue ribbon school, so I guess that's cool....
"Lindero Canyon Middle School has great teachers!" -parent
"Yeah, but only if the school allows them to do their jobs!" -kid who actually goes there
by plus-size albert November 22, 2020
mugGet the Lindero Canyon Middle Schoolmug.

Conejo valley

A region of southern California that consists of southern Thousand Oaks/Newbury Park, Westlake Village, Agoura Hills, a little bit of Calabasas, and Oak Park which is actually not apart of this region or county, but is considered one of the region's neighborhoods. Each one of these "communities" has a specific trait:
Thousand Oaks/Newbury Park: Working class Simi Valley - type people
Westlake Village: Skater teens and rich adults
Agoura Hills: Wannabe gangster teens who do drugs and tag walls in parking lots, and redneck adults who are friendly but clueless about these incidents

Calabasas: Rich people but bad schools

Oak Park: Pot heads and insane/unexpected news, like kidnappings and pedophiles
"I live in Conejo Valley."

"Oh yeah? Which city?"
"Oak park"
"Huh?"
by plus-size albert November 22, 2020
mugGet the Conejo valleymug.

Agoura High School

A Highschool in Agoura Hills, CA. Attending this place is a punishment. Once you have dodged the insane soccer moms in their vans that are larger than their asses, you must sit in multiple overcrowded classrooms over the course of 7 hours. All while SJW teachers talk their theories at you on why white people are bad. When you've survived that, you will be lucky to find your bike still chained up. Because there is a 60% chance that it will be stolen by one of the many wannabe thugs that plague the school and the surrounding neighborhood. HAVE FUN!
"Agoura High school is gonna be the greatest time of your life!" - Literally all of the middle school teachers in the area.

NEWSFLASH: it's not
by plus-size albert November 20, 2020
mugGet the Agoura High Schoolmug.

Conejo valley

A region of southern California that consists of southern Thousand Oaks/Newbury Park, Westlake Village, Agoura Hills, a little bit of Calabasas, and Oak Park which is actually not apart of this region or county, but is considered one of the region's neighborhoods. Each one of these "communities" has a specific trait:
Thousand Oaks/Newbury Park: Working class Simi Valley - type people
Westlake Village: Skater teens and rich adults
Agoura Hills: Wannabe gangster teens who do drugs and tag walls in parking lots, and redneck adults who are friendly but clueless about these incidents

Calabasas: Rich people but bad schools

Oak Park: Pot heads and insane/unexpected news, like kidnappings and pedophiles
"I live in Conejo Valley."

"Oh yeah? Which city?"
"Oak park"
"Huh?"
by plus-size albert November 22, 2020
mugGet the Conejo valleymug.

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