plus-size albert's definitions
A large strip mall in Agoura Hills, CA that acts as the "shopping mall" of the area. Mainly because the mall companies wouldn't be caught dead building an actual mall in this crappy of an area. It is full of stores and businesses that closedown within a week either because of horrible business management, crushing business taxes, or shoplifted blind by the wannabe-gangsta kids of the neighborhood. During the day it is crowded with brainless girls doing tik-toks with Starbucks in hand, and at night it's crowded with the wannabe-gangstas that go to Agoura High and drunk college kids (that don't even live ANYWHERE in the area) that throw bottles at you if you get too close. (Speaking from experience).
"Did you hear what happened at the twin oaks shopping center?"
"Was there a fire? Did someone get shot? Just tell me all ready..."
"Was there a fire? Did someone get shot? Just tell me all ready..."
by plus-size albert December 22, 2020
Get the Twin Oaks Shopping Centermug. A neighborhood in the eastern part of Agoura Hills, CA. It is known as the original "Agoura" community before it became an official city in 1982. It is a bizarre mixture of mansions, miniature farms where people raise horses, and dimly lit warehouses where high schoolers will do burn-outs. For anyone who doesn't own a horse or car, it is hell to get from A to B without twisting your ankle, this is because the area has no actual sidewalks. As "peaceful" as the area seems during the day, it actually has the highest crime rate in the eastern Conejo valley. This is mainly because of it's no streetlight policy, which makes it pitch-black at night. Thus, allowing low-lifers from the SF valley to break into cars and slip away into the night. This also allows Agoura High students to commit most of their shenanigans here. So you will be cruising by white-picket fences with people brushing horses, turn a corner, and see an ENTIRE wall tagged with random graffiti, or you'll be chilling in your backyard and hear tires screeching a block over. Of course, the adults are clueless about this and it'll be up to you to keep your valuables safe. Although the Brightside is, it has lots of great hiking trails, so that you can twist your ankle faster :).
"You know, Old Agoura actually has the highest crime rate in Agoura Hills." - teen
"Oh no it doesn't! You kids don't know how good you have it!" - clueless adult
"Oh no it doesn't! You kids don't know how good you have it!" - clueless adult
by plus-size albert December 20, 2020
Get the Old Agouramug. A type of kid in either middle school or high school in art class that is either a bored popular kid who had a class open so they just chose art. Or they are mentally ill drama queen that complains about their "anxiety" and gets hostile if you ask them anything about their past.
by plus-size albert January 2, 2021
Get the Art kidmug. A Highschool in Agoura Hills, CA. Attending this place is a punishment. Once you have dodged the insane soccer moms in their vans that are larger than their asses, you must sit in multiple overcrowded classrooms over the course of 7 hours. All while SJW teachers talk their theories at you on why white people are bad. When you've survived that, you will be lucky to find your bike still chained up. Because there is a 60% chance that it will be stolen by one of the many wannabe thugs that plague the school and the surrounding neighborhood. HAVE FUN!
"Agoura High school is gonna be the greatest time of your life!" - Literally all of the middle school teachers in the area.
NEWSFLASH: it's not
NEWSFLASH: it's not
by plus-size albert November 20, 2020
Get the Agoura High Schoolmug. A region of southern California that consists of southern Thousand Oaks/Newbury Park, Westlake Village, Agoura Hills, a little bit of Calabasas, and Oak Park which is actually not apart of this region or county, but is considered one of the region's neighborhoods. Each one of these "communities" has a specific trait:
Thousand Oaks/Newbury Park: Working class Simi Valley - type people
Westlake Village: Skater teens and rich adults
Agoura Hills: Wannabe gangster teens who do drugs and tag walls in parking lots, and redneck adults who are friendly but clueless about these incidents
Calabasas: Rich people but bad schools
Oak Park: Pot heads and insane/unexpected news, like kidnappings and pedophiles
Thousand Oaks/Newbury Park: Working class Simi Valley - type people
Westlake Village: Skater teens and rich adults
Agoura Hills: Wannabe gangster teens who do drugs and tag walls in parking lots, and redneck adults who are friendly but clueless about these incidents
Calabasas: Rich people but bad schools
Oak Park: Pot heads and insane/unexpected news, like kidnappings and pedophiles
by plus-size albert November 22, 2020
Get the Conejo valleymug. A region of southern California that consists of southern Thousand Oaks/Newbury Park, Westlake Village, Agoura Hills, a little bit of Calabasas, and Oak Park which is actually not apart of this region or county, but is considered one of the region's neighborhoods. Each one of these "communities" has a specific trait:
Thousand Oaks/Newbury Park: Working class Simi Valley - type people
Westlake Village: Skater teens and rich adults
Agoura Hills: Wannabe gangster teens who do drugs and tag walls in parking lots, and redneck adults who are friendly but clueless about these incidents
Calabasas: Rich people but bad schools
Oak Park: Pot heads and insane/unexpected news, like kidnappings and pedophiles
Thousand Oaks/Newbury Park: Working class Simi Valley - type people
Westlake Village: Skater teens and rich adults
Agoura Hills: Wannabe gangster teens who do drugs and tag walls in parking lots, and redneck adults who are friendly but clueless about these incidents
Calabasas: Rich people but bad schools
Oak Park: Pot heads and insane/unexpected news, like kidnappings and pedophiles
by plus-size albert November 22, 2020
Get the Conejo valleymug. A school district in the southwest pocket of Los Angeles County, CA (Agoura Hills, Westlake Village, Calabasas, Eastern Conejo valley). It has many glaring problems. Including, but not limited to, the higher-ups being so hippie-dippy that they do not having ANY security at any of their schools. The only "security" that the schools have are the local sheriff's deputies, who could care less about their jobs because they are completely powerless. It's also famous for having abusive teachers who will scream at you for just accidently wandering into the teacher's lounge, or will yank your arm around because you aren't understanding a math problem. Though they don't get in trouble, because when something happens, they just get transferred to a different school like aggressive killer whales at sea world. The principle of Lindero Canyon Middle School was transferred, not because of business reasons, but because of how much she bullied kids and just didn't do her job correctly. In fact, I think she got PROMOTED. The teachers who aren't straight-up abusive are far-left commies that will shove "America bad" propaganda down your throat any chance they get. Students who do things like...... THROW WATER AT TEACHERS, DO get arrested by the school cop, but they are allowed to show up in class the next day so that the school can maintain it's "blue ribbon schools" status. If you are able to survive any of the schools belonging to this district, then you have my FULL respect.
by plus-size albert January 2, 2021
Get the LVUSDmug.