pantaloon's definitions

Olympervert

Someone who needs to watch figure skaters and Girls gymnastics to splume.

The Olympervert tried to time his finish for the exact moment of her dismount, but he misjudged and fired off at the springboard. The Russian judge gave him a 9.4

by Pantaloon January 14, 2008

gwen stephani

What happens sometimes when the alcohol wears off before you get a girl back to your room. With the lights turned on, and the buzz gone, you realize that anything that might have caught your eye is really just derivative and uninteresting without the special effects and booze, and that really what you've got looks more like a skinny little boy than Madonna, Greta Garbo,Maryln Monroe, or a mildly amusing Blow-up doll.
The actual gwen stephani is the snapping noise as your dick and scrotum shrivels up rapidly into your abdomen. May require hospitalization and/or counseling for recovery.

Jimmy thought he was being a smart driver by only having one drink, but when his "date" came out of the bathroom, he almost thought he saw balls, but couldn't clear his head enough to prevent a full-on gwen stephanie from knocking him to the ground.

by Pantaloon January 18, 2008

smoke screen

Underpants. Silk filters flatus 80% than cotton, except in the event of broccoli consumption.

Jasmine thought the thong would erase her unsightly panty lines, but she forgot that she also was foregoing the smoke screen her panties afforded her. The tacos she had for lunch produced shrapnel that the thong was unprepared to deal with.

by Pantaloon February 5, 2008

double blue

1)short for double blue veiner, when one becomes so engorged that two blue veins can be seen clearly in dim lighting. Often used as a metaphor for great achievement.
2)The 23rd letter of the alphabet, spoken by someone with a fat lip or recent dental work.

1)When Martha hobbled into the room in her leather cap and boots, Jacob produced his first double blue since the great depression.
2)Beth believed Iwo was proclaiming his love for her after their passionate night of karaoke and love-making, but he was simply spelling his name. She was blissfully unaware of the root canal he had gotten just prior to their date, and suggested he attempt to give her a pink sock, with his small but insistant double blue.

by Pantaloon January 24, 2008

pilates

A form of torture created by Pontius Pilate, the man who crucified the savior. It's not as easy as you might think. St. Paul was certified in Pilates and Advanced Spin. The original 12 wanted to emphasize diet (bread, wine, omega 3s from fish oil, etc.) This caused quite a schism as you might imagine. This went on for awhile, until the Serfing craze caught on with the Barbarian invasion of Ringo, George, Cedric, and Dagobert.

After the crucifixion,a lot of fitness buffs tried to jump on the band wagon so Pilate was forced opened a gym (Pilates Fitness, inc.) at the local coliseum and hire some trainers. The gold members were given the "Martyr" card.

by Pantaloon January 18, 2008

heissucha

Overused start of a phrase. 50% of people that submit entries in UD to be published simply take the first name of their friend,enemy, ex-boyfriend, and tack it onto the end of this phrase.

Hopeful entry into the sacred dictionary: Heissucha Robert.
***sound of mouse clicking on the reject button***

by Pantaloon January 19, 2008

marble bag

Speedo bathing suit.

Kevin, at the pool: Hey what's that clacking noise?
Mark, puffing out his chest: That's my marble bag. Check it out.
Kevin, cupping: Not bad, not bad.
Mark, jumping back: Hey! Look, but no touch!
Kevin: I've held better.

by Pantaloon February 9, 2008