pantaloon's definitions

smash and grab

1)a form of petty thievery where the thief has a limited amount of time before he must flee the scene, and so maximizes this opportunity by breaking the glass of a storefront or display and grabbing as much loot as is possible in a single swoop. Often a shattered mess is what remains of the scene.
2)George W. Bush and Dick Cheney's Domestic and Foreign Policy. Substitute the words " the glass of a storefront or display" with either "Iraq,""The Planet," or "The American People."

1) The proprietors had it coming. They were just begging for a good ol' smash and grab.
2)Substitute "Iraq", "The Planet," "The American People," "our grandchildren," for the word "proprietors." in the above sentence.

by Pantaloon January 15, 2008

creepy office guy

Co-worker who is extremely awkward, calls at home when you never gave him your number, and has no qualms about mentioning that he got the number from your payroll info. Shows up at your new job after you leave, and at the job of some of your other former-coworkers.

The creepy office guy never leaves a message with anyone if I'm not there. But he's good for hockey tickets, so I suck it up when I need good seats.

by Pantaloon January 14, 2008

stock the pond

The act of squeezing off a few fresh finless brown trout into the bowl. Essential for the overall health of the ecosystem.

He hadn't shat for days, but the water would be teaming with fresh finless browns when he went to stock the pond.

by Pantaloon January 14, 2008

albee beck

The name of Arnold Schwarzenegger's grade school lover from his early days in Austria. During the filming of "The Terminator," AS was reported to be still distraught, even years later, over the bitter ending of this romance, and was forever uttering the boy's name. James Cameron, in perhaps one of the most brilliant moments in cinema history, decided to put one outtake into the film, where they were adjusting the lighting, and Arnold was waiting simply waiting on his mark for the next take. This moment captured on film is perhaps the quintessential expression of Man's existential aloneness in the universe, and AS's eventual destruction of the set in the name of Albee seems only fitting in retrospect.

Albee Beck had a tight ass, back in der Tag.

by Pantaloon January 19, 2008

twas

1)a possessive form of the airline abbreviation
2)The plural of "twat"
3)A toast made a bit later in the evening.

1)You're supposed to give those headphones back to the Stewardess, they're TWAs.
2)I paid the ladies ahead of time for my favorite holiday pastime. Twas, the night before Christmas.
3)First round- to your beauty and my wit.(Drink)
Second round-to a lovely evening! (Drink)
Third round- to you- what's your name again?(they drink)
Eight round- Twas! (spill, then find mouth)

by Pantaloon January 12, 2008

smoke screen

Underpants. Silk filters flatus 80% than cotton, except in the event of broccoli consumption.

Jasmine thought the thong would erase her unsightly panty lines, but she forgot that she also was foregoing the smoke screen her panties afforded her. The tacos she had for lunch produced shrapnel that the thong was unprepared to deal with.

by Pantaloon February 5, 2008

heissucha

Overused start of a phrase. 50% of people that submit entries in UD to be published simply take the first name of their friend,enemy, ex-boyfriend, and tack it onto the end of this phrase.

Hopeful entry into the sacred dictionary: Heissucha Robert.
***sound of mouse clicking on the reject button***

by Pantaloon January 19, 2008