Definitions by onehandcrabbing

Bengay Challenge 

Any man worth the hair on his balls knows that the cinnamon challenge is for pussies. A much older and more venerable challenge is the Bengay Challenge. It has been attempted in fraternity houses and college dorms for generations.

The challenge: Take about a tablespoon of Bengay and apply it to your testicles.

Bengay Challenge classic tagline: "Are you a man or have you Bengay?" Put Bengay on your balls and we'll find out!"

Bengay Challenge by onehandcrabbing August 31, 2012

Fracking 

A polite term for shoving a lubricated probe into the Earth's hole to release gas.

Earth: I'm having trouble passing gas.

People: That's nothing a fracking won't fix.

Fracking by onehandcrabbing April 28, 2012

Portage 

Noun : A fancy word that means, "Guess what? You're going to have to fucking carry your boat!"

After we paddle across this lake there's a portage to the river.

Portage by onehandcrabbing January 28, 2012

Buttultimately 

adv. from the end : what precedes comes from the speaker's end or ass because of vanity or pride and what follows is more or less the actual truth of the matter.

I thought seriously about going to Harvard buttultimately attended the local junior college.

Our defense played their hearts out and really showed determination buttultimately we couldn't stop the run and they kept scoring.

Buttultimately by onehandcrabbing January 17, 2012

Easter 

Spanish word meaning: Mexicans to the park!

Wow, the park is full of Mexicans. It must be easter.

Easter by onehandcrabbing January 17, 2012

Three Shits to the Wind

A phrase that means having terrible diarrhea that is difficult to contain and tends to splatter back on the sufferer as if shitting into the wind.

William had several helpings of Mexican food last night and now he's three shits to the wind.

Three Shits to the Wind by onehandcrabbing December 1, 2011

Dallass-Fart Worth 

A place in Texas where many cross-country airline flights stop for connections and a particularly excellent place for a mid-trip dump.

Woman: Oh dear, I'm feeling like I need to drop the kids off at the pool.

Man: We'll be landing in Dallass-Fart Worth shortly and you can bend a biscuit there.

Dallass-Fart Worth by onehandcrabbing November 29, 2011