32 definitions by ogdajuiceman

1: "Where Joe at?"

2: "He gone fishing with Ashley again."

1: "Hope he catches something."

2: "Yeah, but I reminded him to bring lots of fish wrap in case he didn't wanna use the master bait. I hope he didn't forget..."

1: "The people from all across the country were firing their rockets into the air!" 2: "It's because today is Independence Day, all them angry folks wanna piece of a flying saucer..." 2: "Even though there is a one in a billionth chance that they would actually hit one..." 1: "Lol, at least it gives Americans something better to do, other than killing themselves."

Hoe: "Man is that all you got? You really need to go somewhere so you can jack on and hit dis shit right!" Jack: "No prob, just give me a handjob before i have to bust out da Playboy magazine again..." Hoe: "You know my hands can't fit dat little ass worm you call a dick, go to the bathroom!" Jack: "Alright, I'll be back." (Goes to the bathroom and jacks on, and comes out wearing a superman suit with dick hanging out) Jack: "Have No Fear, SUPERMAN is here!" (Dives straight into the pussy) Hoe: "That was so much deeper... Where's my money?" (Jack gives her $350) Hoe: "Wow, i thought you didn't had it in you... You're my hero!" Jack: "As long as my Jack is on, anything is possible!" Hoe: "Whatever." ((Meanwhile, in the streets)) Nigga: "Yo homeboy, u down for hittin deez licks wit me n my goons?" Homeboy: "Hell yea, as soon as i het a chance to jack on first."

Nigga 1: "Did you talk to dat girl wit da fat booty?" Nigga 2: "Shit, i tried but i was within hoe range she talked to me but she got in her car when i about to approach her... Bitches deez days." Nigga 1: "I know. At least dey know how to work da garden tool in my backyard, dey sure do a really good job wit dat."

Victim: "Oh my gosh! Wtf took the parts off my Lamborghini?" Vandals: "It was Jack and Dick." Victim: "Did you two assholes really do this to my once-good whip?" Fake Vandals: "Yes we did sir." (The oil now leaks out of the hapless piece of junk, then it bursts all over the man's house, much like Old Faithful bursts water out of its geyser-filled hole) Fake Vandals: "Oops, it wasn't us we just got paid to lie to you" (Takes the money and runs off) Vandal #1: "I told yall we shouldnt have trusted dem snitches now we gotta pay him back for collateral damage and spontaneous combustion" Vandal #2: "I know let's give him a BP (blowpop) and he'll probably forget this has ever happened!" Vandal #3: "I agree with him Two Thumbs Up and head raised too." Vandal #1: "Aight, i'm down wit dat." "BP (Big Pussies) all day!" (And what a perfectly great resemblance of Big Pussies that was too.)

i met a girl named sabrina and she brought her bff with her too her name sasha i wanted sabrina but she already had a bf so i started talking to sasha and she didn't give a damn about it even though sasha is her right hander and i asked her if i could eat it and sasha said ask sabrina and she said yea so i got her in the sack and started eating her out which soon led to fucking her... man sabrina is such a cock allower i love her so much... (as a friend of course)

The guy from the pen was horny in the ass so he decided to give himself a buttwank by carving a dildo out of a bar of wet soap and beating his ass with it repeatedly.