32 definitions by ogdajuiceman

Heading out into the world of nature to explore things far beyond one can normally venture.
1: "Where Joe at?"

2: "He gone fishing with Ashley again."

1: "Hope he catches something."

2: "Yeah, but I reminded him to bring lots of fish wrap in case he didn't wanna use the master bait. I hope he didn't forget..."
by ogdajuiceman October 09, 2011
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The official day when patriotic civilians get to express their freedom by lighting up a dozen of rockets made of gunpowder and cardboard and watching them propel high in the sky, creating an atmosphere of a potassium nitrate-scented aroma. Originally fireworks were used to shoot down unidentified flying objects (UFOs) when they usually fly around during the period of July 4th before Thomas Jefferson and the rest of the delegates declared it as a national holiday. Remade into a hit movie starring Will Smith.
1: "The people from all across the country were firing their rockets into the air!" 2: "It's because today is Independence Day, all them angry folks wanna piece of a flying saucer..." 2: "Even though there is a one in a billionth chance that they would actually hit one..." 1: "Lol, at least it gives Americans something better to do, other than killing themselves."
by ogdajuiceman July 03, 2010
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A method of masturbation that is similar to "jacking off" but the masturbator stops beating his meat when he reaches optimum hardness (about 15-20 ohms or 3-5 minutes, depending on stamina level) instead of ejaculating all over himself and/or the area of seminal wreckage. This is usually performed immediately prior to sexual activity. May encourage an amateur robber to steal (jack) valuable things from other people.
Hoe: "Man is that all you got? You really need to go somewhere so you can jack on and hit dis shit right!" Jack: "No prob, just give me a handjob before i have to bust out da Playboy magazine again..." Hoe: "You know my hands can't fit dat little ass worm you call a dick, go to the bathroom!" Jack: "Alright, I'll be back." (Goes to the bathroom and jacks on, and comes out wearing a superman suit with dick hanging out) Jack: "Have No Fear, SUPERMAN is here!" (Dives straight into the pussy) Hoe: "That was so much deeper... Where's my money?" (Jack gives her $350) Hoe: "Wow, i thought you didn't had it in you... You're my hero!" Jack: "As long as my Jack is on, anything is possible!" Hoe: "Whatever." ((Meanwhile, in the streets)) Nigga: "Yo homeboy, u down for hittin deez licks wit me n my goons?" Homeboy: "Hell yea, as soon as i het a chance to jack on first."
by ogdajuiceman November 26, 2010
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The amount of distance that is close enough for a nigga to talk to a nearby girl but far enough for her to hoe him (ex. Going back in her house, insulting him, getting on her phone, going towards her groupies, walking away, etc.) AKA Another way for a female to play games with a nigga.
Nigga 1: "Did you talk to dat girl wit da fat booty?" Nigga 2: "Shit, i tried but i was within hoe range she talked to me but she got in her car when i about to approach her... Bitches deez days." Nigga 1: "I know. At least dey know how to work da garden tool in my backyard, dey sure do a really good job wit dat."
by ogdajuiceman July 11, 2010
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A company run by a horde of retards who completely fucked up the Gulf of Mexico and the southern coastline with its dangerous oil spill. Also refers to any other company that profusely screws up something major and calls it "a huge and regrettable mistake" (AIG, for example); or it can refer to a group of people who vandalize a person's property or vehicle then hires other people who are willing to take the blame.
Victim: "Oh my gosh! Wtf took the parts off my Lamborghini?" Vandals: "It was Jack and Dick." Victim: "Did you two assholes really do this to my once-good whip?" Fake Vandals: "Yes we did sir." (The oil now leaks out of the hapless piece of junk, then it bursts all over the man's house, much like Old Faithful bursts water out of its geyser-filled hole) Fake Vandals: "Oops, it wasn't us we just got paid to lie to you" (Takes the money and runs off) Vandal #1: "I told yall we shouldnt have trusted dem snitches now we gotta pay him back for collateral damage and spontaneous combustion" Vandal #2: "I know let's give him a BP (blowpop) and he'll probably forget this has ever happened!" Vandal #3: "I agree with him Two Thumbs Up and head raised too." Vandal #1: "Aight, i'm down wit dat." "BP (Big Pussies) all day!" (And what a perfectly great resemblance of Big Pussies that was too.)
by ogdajuiceman June 16, 2010
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The exact opposite of a cock blocker. One who doesn't mind you smashing on a girl that you wanna hit, let it be one of her friends, her best friend, a girl you just met, her sister or other family member, or just simply her. Absolutely the best type of female any nigga could fuck with.
i met a girl named sabrina and she brought her bff with her too her name sasha i wanted sabrina but she already had a bf so i started talking to sasha and she didn't give a damn about it even though sasha is her right hander and i asked her if i could eat it and sasha said ask sabrina and she said yea so i got her in the sack and started eating her out which soon led to fucking her... man sabrina is such a cock allower i love her so much... (as a friend of course)
by ogdajuiceman June 30, 2010
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The act of sexually stimulating one's anal region by the use of a dildo. Also refers to anal sex, whether it's gay or not.
The guy from the pen was horny in the ass so he decided to give himself a buttwank by carving a dildo out of a bar of wet soap and beating his ass with it repeatedly.
by ogdajuiceman May 17, 2010
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