nolandc's definitions

Bed bugs text

(n.) a text so risky that the sender sends it as they are falling asleep, so they can avoid the feeling of regret that immediately follows.

The text can be so exceedingly treacherous that it will frighten away bed bugs and other night critters.

Freddy asked Claire out via bed bugs text.

by nolandc September 12, 2019

Scareline

The scary hairline of a young man realizing that, someday, he will be bald.

Recession is the name of the game. The dadbod of hairlines, the scareline indicates to potential mates that he’s a fresh sprout with fatherly clout.

Tim inspected his scareline in the mirror and confidently whispered: "Receding is succeeding."

by nolandc January 23, 2020

Orion’s Gucci Belt

(n.) A wealthy neighborhood or region, named after what its spoiled children see when they spot Orion’s Belt in the sky.

The backyards in Orion's Gucci Belt may smell vaguely of George Bush's breath. It's an urban legend that the people who live in Orion's Gucci Belt root for financial crises and own large birds of prey that steal from the poor.

Person 1: "Wanna go to Chipotle?"
Person 2: "This is not the Rust Belt. This is Orion’s Gucci Belt. We feast at the Cheesecake Factory."

by nolandc September 26, 2019

Bread and wine

(n.) a way to refer to the group of friends you're most comfortable and familiar being around.

The bread and wine are a mixture of your "day 1's", "BFFs", "bros", and "OGs." They represent the flesh and blood of your friend group.

Person 1: Who's coming?
Person 2: The bread and wine.

by nolandc September 12, 2019