shelf death

(n.) the choice to give up on your crush because you've been put on the shelf for too long.

Humans tend to carry shelf lives of several months -- much shorter than that of canned foods. The average human will shelf die more than once in their life.
Luke is going through a tough shelf death after Mary stopped responding to his messages last month.
by nolandc September 02, 2019
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Orion’s Gucci Belt

(n.) A wealthy neighborhood or region, named after what its spoiled children see when they spot Orion’s Belt in the sky.

The backyards in Orion's Gucci Belt may smell vaguely of George Bush's breath. It's an urban legend that the people who live in Orion's Gucci Belt root for financial crises and own large birds of prey that steal from the poor.
Person 1: "Wanna go to Chipotle?"
Person 2: "This is not the Rust Belt. This is Orion’s Gucci Belt. We feast at the Cheesecake Factory."
by nolandc September 27, 2019
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K2 Complex

(n.) a sensation of inferiority arising in an ultra-tall person when they walk into a room and there is someone taller.

Named after the second highest mountain on earth, K2.
Shaq struggled with a K2 Complex when playing against Yao Ming.
by nolandc September 02, 2019
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No Deal Bar Crawl

(n.) a failure in friend group politics; when two parties fail to come to an agreement about how a night on the town should play out.

Like in a No Deal Brexit scenario, parties involved in the bar crawl face a severance in relations for the evening, splitting into respective factions. Each must rely on texting outside friends to survive.
Luke wants downtown but Anna says uptown.
Looks like we're headed for a No Deal Bar Crawl.
by nolandc September 12, 2019
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Dynadick

(n.) Someone who learned to be rude through their parents.

Traditionally, a Dynadick is an asshole whose father was an asshole, and whose father's father was an asshole also. Thus, a Dynadick is a member of a "Dynasty of Dicks."
Matt: "I went over to Adam's for dinner, and he and his parents scoffed at my body fat throughout the meal."
Chloe: "What a dynadick."
by nolandc September 12, 2019
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1-800 prophecy

(n.) a correct prediction when one's phone rings that it is a telemarketer calling.

A 1-800 prophecy is often celebrated by briefly answering the call to insult the telemarketer.
We toasted to Cameron's 1-800 prophecy at dinner.
by nolandc September 02, 2019
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Scareline

The scary hairline of a young man realizing that, someday, he will be bald.

Recession is the name of the game. The dadbod of hairlines, the scareline indicates to potential mates that he’s a fresh sprout with fatherly clout.
Tim inspected his scareline in the mirror and confidently whispered: "Receding is succeeding."
by nolandc January 24, 2020
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