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Definitions by nolandc

(n.) A millennial who has founded several limited liability companies (LLCs) to absolutely no success. The companies generally don't exist outside of their LinkedIn profiles and resumes.

These individuals believe they are gods of money, but in fact are merely pawns of capitalism.
The LLC God attempted to raise capital from his uncle at Thanksgiving dinner.
LLC god by nolandc September 15, 2019

heir aura 

(n.) a personality that conveys significant trust fund assets.

Heir auras cluster at parties to observe each other with their heads tilted upwards at 3°-angles. Luscious flowing hair, a relaxed stare and a tan from St. Belvedere are common traits among heir auras. Appear to be on vacation at all times of the year.
In his sleep, the heir aura muttered "my father's wealth is hefty” and spooned a family heirloom.
heir aura by nolandc September 15, 2019

Hanes Miscalculation 

(n.) the act of wearing an unflattering pair of underwear, erroneously calculating that no one would see you in your underwear for the day.

Can apply to faded, fraying, or everyday underwear brands such as Hanes or Fruit of the Loom. Is often a symptom of stag reflex.
Person 1: Lauren saw me in my workout-only boxer briefs today
Person 2: An unforgivable Hanes miscalculation.
Hanes Miscalculation by nolandc September 15, 2019

Endgame filibuster 

(n.) During an argument with your significant other, vigorously repeating "I love you" for minutes, hours (or however long it takes) so that your partner stops arguing and goes to bed.

Such acts of heinous repetition are reserved for the endgames of critical arguments. If overused, endgame filibusters will cause the individual to go blue in the face, and potentially cause their partner to break up with them.

Often resembles demonic possession.
Person 1: "...I love you I love you I love you I love you --"
Person 2: "I can't believe you are endgame filibustering me."
Person 1: "-- I love you I love you I love..."
Endgame filibuster by nolandc September 15, 2019

Fib me a lil 

(n.) a brief command, often to a friend, to make only encouraging comments to them. Even if it means they have to "fib a little bit."

Can be conveyed silently with a sharp stare. It is the implied refrain of dictators and friends who just got haircuts.
Emperor Napoleon: Should we invade Russia? ~Fib me a lil.~
Napoleon's Chief Invasion Officer: Yes. ~During the winter.~
Fib me a lil by nolandc September 15, 2019

Vacuum a kiss 

(v.) The opposite of to blow a kiss.

Someone vacuums a kiss when they are thrilled to watch someone leave.
Person 1: I hate our Algebra professor.
Person 2: I am going to vacuum a kiss to him after the final.
Vacuum a kiss by nolandc September 15, 2019

Juul mime 

(n.) The act of lifting one's empty fist to the mouth, in order to replicate the act of taking a Juul hit. Performed by individuals who forgot their Juul at home or have run out of Juul pods.

Like when toddlers suck their thumbs, Juul mimes are acts of muscle memory in moments of desire. A Juul-mimer may be delusional and dangerous, and may also be fidgeting and, more rarely, foaming at the mouth.
Person 1: Steven Juul mimed all night.

Person 2: Ya, and then he threatened Lisa.
Juul mime by nolandc September 15, 2019