The act of masterbating after not having had sex with your partner, but not just anywhere, no, this is done in the same bed as your other half! One must be as quiet as possible so as not to wake up your partner and being caught can results in serious consequences ranging from repulsion to rejection, as I have found out to my cost!
Heh, Nigel, did you get any action last night from your lady?
No chance, that frigid bitch wasn't giving out at all, I had a frustrated wank instead and to be honest, I enjoyed it more than sex!
No chance, that frigid bitch wasn't giving out at all, I had a frustrated wank instead and to be honest, I enjoyed it more than sex!
by Nigel Fleming July 13, 2006
Get the frustrated wankmug. The Irish version of bored. Used by hill billy locals in back street, one pony towns to try to sound intelligent.
Heh, Seamus, did you get up to anything intersting last night?
Nah, I was so skundered I ended up reading the Dictionary.
Nah, I was so skundered I ended up reading the Dictionary.
by Nigel Fleming July 13, 2006
Get the skunderedmug. by Nigel Fleming July 06, 2006
Get the dead eggmug. An especially annoying piece of faecal matter that will try its damndest to stay in your anus, as if clinging on to life itself. Blood vesels may be burst trying to shift one of these bastards, be careful!
Oh my God, half an hour it took me to drop that stubborn turd from my arse, but boy was it worth the wait!
by Nigel Fleming July 13, 2006
Get the stubborn turdmug. The act of expelling a shit early, before it is naturally ready to be given birth to. Such an act results in excrutiating pain and usually an increase in blood pressure, rather than the euphoric sensation experienced when dropping a turd as nature planned.
by Nigel Fleming July 09, 2006
Get the abort a turdmug. Basically, whatever is suitable and close to hand to clean up the mess after a spontaneous, off the cuff, wank. Items such as socks, towels and if necessary, cushion covers will fit the bill for this purpose.
I got myself into a right mess last night,I'd ran out of toilet roll so I had to use my sock as a wank mop.
by Nigel Fleming July 13, 2006
Get the wank mopmug. An annoying female who gives the impression that she is always on her period. They stomp around tutting all day, have mood swings constantly and will snap and cry at the slightest provocation. If you think you are currently seeing one of these ladies, get rid!
Neil: I can't take it anymore, she's doing my head in all the time, everyday.
Nigel: I warned you there'd be trouble with her, she's one of the biggest rag monsters I've had the misfortune of ever meeting!
Nigel: I warned you there'd be trouble with her, she's one of the biggest rag monsters I've had the misfortune of ever meeting!
by Nigel Fleming July 18, 2006
Get the rag monstermug.