Definitions by nicholas d
ice water in the veins
A figurative saying meaning that someone is extremely good in the clutch and very cool under pressure.
Norm: "Well folks, we're here on the 18th hole and Tiger Woods is having a great day, putting his balls pretty much wherever he wants to."
Steve: "Yes indeed, he's given a brilliant performance here, Norm. Do you think he's got what it takes to emerge victorious?"
Norm: "Of course, Steve. Tiger is a clutch performer with ice water in the veins. Here he goes to finish up the night."
Steve: "Looking good...oh no! Elin woke up just before he snuck back into bed! She sees the lipstick on his shirt. Uh oh, there she goes looking through his texting history. Oh man, here she comes with the golf club." ***WHACK!***
Norm: "Oooh, great swing mechanics there, but that's got to hurt."
Steve: "Well, that's it folks. Looks like our champ couldn't close it out today, and he could be on injured leave for some time now."
Steve: "Yes indeed, he's given a brilliant performance here, Norm. Do you think he's got what it takes to emerge victorious?"
Norm: "Of course, Steve. Tiger is a clutch performer with ice water in the veins. Here he goes to finish up the night."
Steve: "Looking good...oh no! Elin woke up just before he snuck back into bed! She sees the lipstick on his shirt. Uh oh, there she goes looking through his texting history. Oh man, here she comes with the golf club." ***WHACK!***
Norm: "Oooh, great swing mechanics there, but that's got to hurt."
Steve: "Well, that's it folks. Looks like our champ couldn't close it out today, and he could be on injured leave for some time now."
ice water in the veins by Nicholas D April 22, 2011
white fetish
An unhealthy sexual obsession with white people. Similar to an Asian fetish, black fetish, Latin fetish, etc. This is an underreported phenomenon, as people typically make the racist assumption that the white person is the one with the "fetish" and don't think consider that the non-white person is equally likely to have this kind of obsession.
Fred: "Hey dude, did you hear Steve is dating Chun-Li now? Dude must have an Asian fetish."
Chris: "Uhh I don't think so, man. Way to be a racist though. That guy goes for all kinds of girls. Remember, he dated LaShonda, Guadalupe, Ranjita, and Svetlana before that. He's into everything."
Fred: "Yeah I guess that was ignorant of me to assume."
Chris: "I'll tell you what though, it sort of creeps me out how much of a white fetish Chun-Li has."
Fred: "How do you mean?"
Chris: "Well, she moved from Taiwan to New Hampshire and is always hanging around country clubs, plus she told me she finds nothing hotter on a guy than a sweater vest, Sperry top-siders, and Ray-Ban wayfarers. And look at the last few guys she was with before Steve: Blake, Connor, Jacob, and Chadwick. Those guys are all 100% purebred WASPs. Textbook case of a white fetish, man."
Fred: "Yeah, that's weird. Girls with white fetishes are the worst. I hate it when women see me as a sex object rather than a person!"
Chris: "Um yeah...most guys would love that, but whatever floats your boat."
Chris: "Uhh I don't think so, man. Way to be a racist though. That guy goes for all kinds of girls. Remember, he dated LaShonda, Guadalupe, Ranjita, and Svetlana before that. He's into everything."
Fred: "Yeah I guess that was ignorant of me to assume."
Chris: "I'll tell you what though, it sort of creeps me out how much of a white fetish Chun-Li has."
Fred: "How do you mean?"
Chris: "Well, she moved from Taiwan to New Hampshire and is always hanging around country clubs, plus she told me she finds nothing hotter on a guy than a sweater vest, Sperry top-siders, and Ray-Ban wayfarers. And look at the last few guys she was with before Steve: Blake, Connor, Jacob, and Chadwick. Those guys are all 100% purebred WASPs. Textbook case of a white fetish, man."
Fred: "Yeah, that's weird. Girls with white fetishes are the worst. I hate it when women see me as a sex object rather than a person!"
Chris: "Um yeah...most guys would love that, but whatever floats your boat."
white fetish by Nicholas D April 19, 2011
J.J. Evans
A character on the show "Good Times." Also another name for rapper Jay-Z due to his striking resemblance to this character.
"J.J. Evans gettin' gunned up and clapped quick." -Nas, "Ether" (a Jay-Z diss track)
By getting with Beyonce, J.J. Evans gave new hope to all the jacked up looking dudes out there hoping to someday score hot-ass tail.
By getting with Beyonce, J.J. Evans gave new hope to all the jacked up looking dudes out there hoping to someday score hot-ass tail.
J.J. Evans by Nicholas D February 27, 2011
dry spot
"Feel these hot rocks fellas, put you in a dry spot fellas, in a pine box with nine shots from my glock fellas." -Nas, "Ether"
Chaz: "Oh, oh, oh!" *SPLAT!*
Ashley: "Dammit Chaz, you missed and got it all over my face and the bed again."
Chaz: "Oops, my bad. Good night." *rolls over to sleep*
Ashley: "What? Get your ass up! I'm not sleeping in the wet spot over here!"
Chaz: "Hey, it's better than sleeping in a dry spot...am I right?"
Ashley: "Well yeah, but-"
Chaz: "Trying to sleep over here, woman! Pipe down!"
Chaz: "Oh, oh, oh!" *SPLAT!*
Ashley: "Dammit Chaz, you missed and got it all over my face and the bed again."
Chaz: "Oops, my bad. Good night." *rolls over to sleep*
Ashley: "What? Get your ass up! I'm not sleeping in the wet spot over here!"
Chaz: "Hey, it's better than sleeping in a dry spot...am I right?"
Ashley: "Well yeah, but-"
Chaz: "Trying to sleep over here, woman! Pipe down!"
dry spot by Nicholas D February 27, 2011
have ass
"A big fine woman'll make you smile when she pass you
Damn that girl sexy, her mamma got ass too."
-Juvenile, "Mamma Got Ass"
Steve: "Maaan, this party at Wellington's house is going to suck baaaalllls."
Kevin: "Word to your mother. Working for that guy is a bitch. I can only imagine what that old stiff's family is like."
*Ding Dong*
Hot girl: "Hello, I'm Mr. Wellington's daughter Tiffany."
Steve: "BAZOOING! Damn that girl is hot!"
Kevin: "No kidding dude. I didn't expect old Wellington's daughter to have ass like that. Did you see the rack on that smokin' piece of tail?"
Steve: "Hell yeah man! I'd love to give those tig ol' bitties a good motorboating."
Mr. Wellington (having overheard): "Ahem...speaking of having ass, how about you two have your asses out of the office by Monday? You're fired."
Damn that girl sexy, her mamma got ass too."
-Juvenile, "Mamma Got Ass"
Steve: "Maaan, this party at Wellington's house is going to suck baaaalllls."
Kevin: "Word to your mother. Working for that guy is a bitch. I can only imagine what that old stiff's family is like."
*Ding Dong*
Hot girl: "Hello, I'm Mr. Wellington's daughter Tiffany."
Steve: "BAZOOING! Damn that girl is hot!"
Kevin: "No kidding dude. I didn't expect old Wellington's daughter to have ass like that. Did you see the rack on that smokin' piece of tail?"
Steve: "Hell yeah man! I'd love to give those tig ol' bitties a good motorboating."
Mr. Wellington (having overheard): "Ahem...speaking of having ass, how about you two have your asses out of the office by Monday? You're fired."
have ass by Nicholas D February 27, 2011
excrement expo
Jeff: "Hey man, you should swing by my place on Friday night. It's going to be a total excrement expo!"
Ryan: "Real shit show, huh? I'll be there!"
*Ding Dong*
Jeff: "Welcome to the shit show, man."
Ryan: "Um...it smells bad in here. Where's the keg? Why don't I see any hot girls?"
Jeff: "Even better my friend. This right here is a rare petrified dropping from a 15th century dodo bird...oh and this one over here came from a woolly mammoth 100,000 years ago!"
Ryan: "Dude. I didn't realize you meant that literally. This is a bunch of bullshit."
Jeff: "No, the bull shit is in the other room. Really interesting stuff. Let me show you."
Ryan: "Screw this. I'm swayze."
Ryan: "Real shit show, huh? I'll be there!"
*Ding Dong*
Jeff: "Welcome to the shit show, man."
Ryan: "Um...it smells bad in here. Where's the keg? Why don't I see any hot girls?"
Jeff: "Even better my friend. This right here is a rare petrified dropping from a 15th century dodo bird...oh and this one over here came from a woolly mammoth 100,000 years ago!"
Ryan: "Dude. I didn't realize you meant that literally. This is a bunch of bullshit."
Jeff: "No, the bull shit is in the other room. Really interesting stuff. Let me show you."
Ryan: "Screw this. I'm swayze."
excrement expo by Nicholas D February 27, 2011
Irritable Fowl Syndrome
An unhealthy obsession with the iPhone game Angry Birds. The disease is named as such because "irritable fowl" has a meaning similar to that of "angry bird."
Boss: "Hey Joe, would you mind stepping into my office? I think we need to have a little talk."
Joe: "Sure, what is it?"
Boss: "That was your third half-hour trip to the bathroom today and it's only 1:30. What's going on?"
Joe: "Unfortunately I suffer from Irritable Bowel Syndrome. We had chili for dinner last night, and it really hasn't been sitting well with me today."
Boss: "Hmm...well I asked some of your coworkers about it and they mentioned hearing sounds of chirps and snorts coming from one of the stalls on several occasions. It's Irritable Fowl Syndrome you're really suffering from, isn't it?"
Joe: "All right, I admit it! I can't stop playing Angry Birds!"
Boss: "Well lucky for you, you'll have plenty of time to chase those golden eggs during your unemployment!"
Joe: "Sure, what is it?"
Boss: "That was your third half-hour trip to the bathroom today and it's only 1:30. What's going on?"
Joe: "Unfortunately I suffer from Irritable Bowel Syndrome. We had chili for dinner last night, and it really hasn't been sitting well with me today."
Boss: "Hmm...well I asked some of your coworkers about it and they mentioned hearing sounds of chirps and snorts coming from one of the stalls on several occasions. It's Irritable Fowl Syndrome you're really suffering from, isn't it?"
Joe: "All right, I admit it! I can't stop playing Angry Birds!"
Boss: "Well lucky for you, you'll have plenty of time to chase those golden eggs during your unemployment!"
Irritable Fowl Syndrome by Nicholas D December 11, 2010