nethcev!'s definitions

exorcist

One who combines the power of prayer with sacred ritual, as part of a desperate attempt to drive demonic forces from the bodies of spiritual hypochondriacs.

You can usually find an exorcist or two on one of those Hallmark channels that broadcast only at three or so in the morning.

by nethcev! August 24, 2006

Envious

A state of emotional being, characterized by the desire for one to be in another’s shoes. As apposed to “jealous”, which is an emotional state where one deems that if he/she cannot have Reebok, then all others must go barefoot.

"I'm truly envious of his situation."

by nethcev! August 24, 2006

Halloween

A holiday in October where men dress up, and women dress down.

Classic Halloween examples include women dressing up like animals, nurses and "bad cops" while men dawn robes of the clergy.

by nethcev! August 24, 2006

Kiss

The overture to more exciting lascivious behavior.

Often I've wondered what it would be like to kiss you.
What would your lips taste like?
Could they possibly be as sweat as your disposition?
Could they ever be as warm as your heart?
Would your kisses be short and precious, like the moments we share?
Or would they passionately linger through time, like how my love lingers for you?
Oh how I've wondered!
Oh how I've yearned!
To just once hug your lips with my own.

by nethcev! April 28, 2004

honest

A divine attribute we often wrongly assign to one we admire, but sadly, like telepathy, honesty is a characteristic not inherent in humanity. To be truly and completely honest with someone, one must first be truly and completely honest with one’s self. Since our species is incapable of seeing past its own fears, desires, prejudices, convictions, emotional attachments, memories and flawed perceptions, man is not capable of viewing an unfiltered reality. Every single conclusion a person comes to is first carefully screened and reviewed through a series of subconscious unrelated facets of collective reasoning and thus all humanity is blind to all truth. Thus, no one is truly and completely honest with themselves and thus cannot be truly and completely honest with others. The most anyone can hope to give is their honest opinion. But that’s all it is, an opinion.

To give an example would be contrary to my definition of “honest.”

by nethcev! August 24, 2006

Poetry

The art of unlocking one’s most restrained and repressed emotions before manipulating them for aesthetic purposes in a feeble, half-ass attempt, to get into some college freshman’s panties.

Verbal Ejaculation

Poetry is such bullshit,
Nothing truly profound could ever be put on paper.
Self-awareness? Who needs it!
All I ever do is end up crying anyway.
It's like the dehydration of an emotional masochist;
Invisible pain, evaporating joy.
Someone oughta build a dam on my stream of consciousness,
But where then would all the fish go to spawn?
Why does Jesus ask for so much faith?
Where is Allah’s justice?
Yahweh hasn’t written a book in two millennia.
There’s too much order in the chaos.
My eyesight is failing; I fear I may soon go blind.
Not that there’s much worth seeing anyway.

by nethcev! September 10, 2006

elementary school

An introductory academic program that leads students through the first four to eight years of their education. It is here where tomorrow’s young scholars are taught the essential “three R’s”; Reading, Writing, Recess, and of course gym….but that’s technically not an “R”…. is it?

For a perfect example of an elementary school, drive to that part of the neighborhood where all the speed limit signs say "slow children at play."

by nethcev! August 24, 2006