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neil baxter's definitions

snurch

z.nerr-ch

To sniff back a noseful of snot because either you haven't got a handkerchief or you're just too lazy to blow your nose.

This is the opposite of a "Pitmon's Hankie", whereby you press a thumb or finger against a nostril and blow forth snot through the other one onto the pavement.
"Stop snurching and blow your nose you derty get... I'm trying to eat me dinner here!"

From "Biggles Grebs Aloft" by Monty W. Bungingham
by Neil Baxter December 28, 2005
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bacon brigade

The Police, modified from the popular term for police, 'pigs'.

The cause of much hilarity, the police have been comedy targets throughout the world for years...

"How many police officers does it take to break an egg?"
"None... the egg fell down the stairs of it's own accord!"

"I always wanted to be a policeman, but I failed the criteria... my mother and father are married."
"Oink Oink... do you smell bacon?"

"What do you mean... oh yes... here come the bacon brigade! Oy streaky!"
by Neil Baxter October 4, 2005
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claypole

1.Englishman with a neatly trimmed beard who looks relatively smart, although there's something outlandish in his dress code, such as cowboy boots or a shirt that TOTALLY doesn't match.

2. A drama student or 'wit' who exclaims 'odd bodkins' for no reason.

3. A pole for poking clay with.

Named after Timothy Claypole from the old kid's t.v. show 'Rentaghost'.
"I say Carruthers... look at Smythe there... the suit's definitely Saville Row, but the tie's just GOT to be Primark... what a complete Claypole!"
by Neil Baxter October 4, 2005
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Dink Dank Doo

Supposedly newly-coined 'Northern' English Catchprase with little or no meaning that is copied and quoted ad nauseum throughout the U.K.

Taken from the character 'Paddy' in the excellent 'Phoenix Nights' and later from the unbelievably dire 'Max & Paddy's Road To Nowhere', this phrase replaced the often uttered "Booyakasha" comment known throughout our septic isle.
"Hey Paddy... I've got two fingers in me Twix... and as I'm quite full, I'll let you have one."

"Oh hey? What a guy! Paddy likes Twixes, Paddy does! You'll 'dink dank doo' for me, me auld flower!"

From: "The Script To Nowhere" (Channel 4)
by Neil Baxter December 28, 2005
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pussdog

One of those cute wee doggies that has whiskers and would equally double as a cat if necessary.
"aaw. Now then puss? Who's an ickle-wickle pussdog then?"
by Neil Baxter October 4, 2005
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pandagoth

PANDAGOTH (n.) Pander-khoth

1. Overweight female with a penchant for dark make-up - similar in looks and build to a bear-like mammal... usually accompanied by a VERY attractive (yet anaemic looking) female friend, the Pandagoth makes up for her lack of sexual appeal by wearing a combination of the following:

a.) A 'Slipknot' hoodie.
b.) Black lipstick.
c.) Thick-framed glasses.
d.) 'Army' style boots.
e.) A weedy looking youth with a pseudo-beard hanging from her arm.

Pandagoths often 'sell-out' during their college years and become librarians, serial killers or lecturers.
"Chewie... I can't see pal... what's that? Pandagoths? Where? Ya gotta help me ol' pal... don't let them get me!"

"Grrwwwwwrrrrraaarrrrdddgghhhhh!"

(Excerpt from "The Pandagoths Strike Back")
by Neil Baxter September 23, 2005
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week

Wheakh. n.

1. A seven-day calendar period, especially one starting with Sunday and continuing through Saturday.

2. The noise made by a piggie!
Doctor: So tell me... how long have you been feeling that you're turning into a pig, my man?

Percy: Oh... I guess for about a week! I say... A WEEEEEEK! WEEEEEEEEK! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!
by Neil Baxter December 28, 2005
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