39 definitions by mrperson123
The original dating website.
Match, like all online dating is a pile of shit, but unlike Tinder and OK Cupid, there's a hefty membership fee . The people on there suck! The women are average looking with ridiculously high standards, wanting a perfect man. The men are desperate weirdos, or sugar daddies looking for hot young women. Their algorithm sucks, your "daily matches" are all selected completely randomly, you'll be lucky if it sends you someone the same age, or city as you, as well as sending you profiles that have already rejected you. Speaking of which, when someone rejects you on match you get a brutal automated rejection.
The other thing is match is hella shady. They have a TON of fake and inactive profiles they keep to boost their numbers, as well as not telling you what profiles are free members meaning they don't have access to messages. Chances are the majority of people you're messaging can't reply or even read your messages. They also have an "auto renewal system" meaning if you don't cancel your membership before it's due to renew you automatically get charged for another 6 months, which match will refuse to refund. Thing is it takes 2 days to cancel the auto renewal. Many a poor bastard has been suckered into paying another 6 months for this shit trap. When you do cancel your membership, you'll instantly get an email saying you've got new messages, another trap. If you do renew it the messages are either be from bots or will magically disappear.
Match, like all online dating is a pile of shit, but unlike Tinder and OK Cupid, there's a hefty membership fee . The people on there suck! The women are average looking with ridiculously high standards, wanting a perfect man. The men are desperate weirdos, or sugar daddies looking for hot young women. Their algorithm sucks, your "daily matches" are all selected completely randomly, you'll be lucky if it sends you someone the same age, or city as you, as well as sending you profiles that have already rejected you. Speaking of which, when someone rejects you on match you get a brutal automated rejection.
The other thing is match is hella shady. They have a TON of fake and inactive profiles they keep to boost their numbers, as well as not telling you what profiles are free members meaning they don't have access to messages. Chances are the majority of people you're messaging can't reply or even read your messages. They also have an "auto renewal system" meaning if you don't cancel your membership before it's due to renew you automatically get charged for another 6 months, which match will refuse to refund. Thing is it takes 2 days to cancel the auto renewal. Many a poor bastard has been suckered into paying another 6 months for this shit trap. When you do cancel your membership, you'll instantly get an email saying you've got new messages, another trap. If you do renew it the messages are either be from bots or will magically disappear.
Bill: Ugh I'm so sick of how crappy tinder is! Man why is dating so hard?
Chrissy: It's because you're using tinder, you should use match.com . It's a paid service so there's a higher calibre of people.
Bill: Hmm maybe you're right, guess I'll give match a try.
*several weeks later*
Bill: Oh my god match fucking sucks! This shit is worse than tinder!
Chrissy: It's because you're using tinder, you should use match.com . It's a paid service so there's a higher calibre of people.
Bill: Hmm maybe you're right, guess I'll give match a try.
*several weeks later*
Bill: Oh my god match fucking sucks! This shit is worse than tinder!
by mrperson123 April 30, 2019
Like the friendzone but much worse. When a guy gets rejected then proclaims you're like a brother to her.
Guy: I love you, will you go out with me?
Girl: That's cute, but I don't feel that way towards you, you're like a brother to me.
Guy: Damn it I just got brother zoned!
Girl: That's cute, but I don't feel that way towards you, you're like a brother to me.
Guy: Damn it I just got brother zoned!
by mrperson123 April 11, 2017
Hermione "But Ron that chocolate was mine..."
Ron "Ya better shut ya mouth ya cheeky cunt or I swear to christ I'll hook ya in the gabber m8!
Ron "Ya better shut ya mouth ya cheeky cunt or I swear to christ I'll hook ya in the gabber m8!
by mrperson123 December 13, 2018
Shitey city up north. Full of arrogant twats, chavs, and two faced arseholes. It's extremely dull too, all they've got is a mediocre shopping centre and a football museum. You're far better off going to the vastly superior Liverpool. Despite how shit it is, Mancurians make out it's far better than Liverpool and London. The reason they hate on London and Liverpool so much is because they know how inferior it is so try to bring down their betters, just like a school bully.
Adam:Fuck London man, it's evil! Manchester is clearly the best city!
Brent: Lol you're joking right? Manchesters full of cunts like you! It's gotta be one of the crappest cities I've been too. You're only hating on London coz you know Manchesters a massive shithole!
Adam: That's not true! Manchester's better! You're just jelaous!
Brent: Yeah you keep telling yourself that lol. And anyway, if that's so true why did you move to London?
Adam: Shut up! I'm out of here!
Brent: Lol you're joking right? Manchesters full of cunts like you! It's gotta be one of the crappest cities I've been too. You're only hating on London coz you know Manchesters a massive shithole!
Adam: That's not true! Manchester's better! You're just jelaous!
Brent: Yeah you keep telling yourself that lol. And anyway, if that's so true why did you move to London?
Adam: Shut up! I'm out of here!
by mrperson123 January 24, 2019
The rate of time that passes when playing video games, which is much faster. 10 minutes in Video game time tends to be an hour in real time, although it depends on the game.
Example one
Mum "Timmy where the hell you been all day?"
Timmy"What do you mean? I've only been gaming for an hour."
Mum"Timmy, it's 4pm!"
Timmy" Ah crap I thought it was 10! I guess it was only an hour in video game time."
Example two
Mum "Larry dinners gonna be ready in 10 minutes!"
*A minute of video game time passes*
Mum "Larry come on dinners ready!"
Larry "But it's only been a minute? Ah video game time."
Mum "Timmy where the hell you been all day?"
Timmy"What do you mean? I've only been gaming for an hour."
Mum"Timmy, it's 4pm!"
Timmy" Ah crap I thought it was 10! I guess it was only an hour in video game time."
Example two
Mum "Larry dinners gonna be ready in 10 minutes!"
*A minute of video game time passes*
Mum "Larry come on dinners ready!"
Larry "But it's only been a minute? Ah video game time."
by mrperson123 January 30, 2018
A friend who requires a lot of time, attention and money. Kinda like a high maintenance girlfriend but without the perks of sex and intimacy. Said friend is rather clingy and whiney and demands to hangout out frequently.
*Brent's phone rings*
Brent:Hey Matt I'm at work, what's up?
Matt: Come meet me.
Brent: I can't I'm at work.
Matt: So leave early, come buy me a coffee.
Brent: Dude I can't just leave work early, anyway I saw you last night.
Matt:Fine meet me after
Brent: I can't I've already made plans.
Matt:So cancel em and priortise me.
Brent:No man! Look I gotta go
*Brent hangs up*
Coworker:High Maintenance Friend eh?
Brent: Oh you've got no idea.
Brent:Hey Matt I'm at work, what's up?
Matt: Come meet me.
Brent: I can't I'm at work.
Matt: So leave early, come buy me a coffee.
Brent: Dude I can't just leave work early, anyway I saw you last night.
Matt:Fine meet me after
Brent: I can't I've already made plans.
Matt:So cancel em and priortise me.
Brent:No man! Look I gotta go
*Brent hangs up*
Coworker:High Maintenance Friend eh?
Brent: Oh you've got no idea.
by mrperson123 February 22, 2018
Scenario 1:
Brent "Hey Becki I'm almost there."
Becki "Oh sorry Brent, I can't hangout anymore. I have to go shopping with my friends mum"
Brent "Damn it Becki why do you always pull this last minute cancel bullshit!"
Scenario 2:
John"Oh hey Emily, I thought you were going out tonight?"
Emily"Nat pulled some last minute cancel bullshit on me. Said she had to wait in for her sisters parcel!"
John"Well that sucks, sorry mate"
Brent "Hey Becki I'm almost there."
Becki "Oh sorry Brent, I can't hangout anymore. I have to go shopping with my friends mum"
Brent "Damn it Becki why do you always pull this last minute cancel bullshit!"
Scenario 2:
John"Oh hey Emily, I thought you were going out tonight?"
Emily"Nat pulled some last minute cancel bullshit on me. Said she had to wait in for her sisters parcel!"
John"Well that sucks, sorry mate"
by mrperson123 August 4, 2017