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mr Cunninglinguist's definitions

Guitarsole

a guitar player with an enormous ego, or is very annoying/rude/petulant the word is a portmanteau of the words 'Guitar' and 'Arsehole'
not legally permitted to name anyone in particular but most 'guitar gods' are Guitarsoles at some point in their careers, I imagine.
After the gratuitous 22 minute solo in which several Stratocasters were burned, knocked over and smashed, he raised his arms in mocking triumph to the crowd - of 9. what a wanker, He's such a Guitarsole its unreal, its only the pub down the road, not the Hammy Odeon!
by Mr Cunninglinguist October 5, 2012
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F1 Finish

the Money shot at the end of a Porn sequence where 3 guys 'arrive' at the same time all over one (or more) chicks (or guy) by emptying their cocks- in a similar way to the Podium finish of a Grand Prix race
".... and so at the end of the '75 Swedish Grand Prix all that remains is for Emerson, Mario and James to get hold of the Jereboams and drench the adoring fans and each other with champagne for a proper F1 Finish"
by mr cunninglinguist October 21, 2012
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PAY TWICE

Noun. a name for an extremely overweight person, someone who would have to 'pay twice' to get in the cinema, ride a bus etc.
Man 1 "you've put some weight on since I last saw you you've turned into a proper 'Michelin Man'"
Man 2 " I gained 80 pounds"
Man 1 "you fat pay twice, I bet your gut has its own postcode now"
Man 2 "I've been a bit pie-friendly recently"
by Mr Cunninglinguist July 7, 2010
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shit in a piss time

Toilettiquette...When visiting the restroom out on a date, or at a dinner party, you take a lightning fast crap to fool your date or fellow diners into thinking you only needed a piss by being in the can for such a short time.

a very hurried poop taken so as not to keep guests waiting
I really needed to take a shit but my date had arrived, so I told her I was just 'nipping to the bathroom to freshen up' and took a quick 'shit in a piss time', so as not to keep her waiting
by mr Cunninglinguist October 26, 2012
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JESUS

A pretty cool chap according to his fans. Played in goal for Tottenham Hotspur FC in the late 60's.
Eddie Wolstenholme (commentator): "JESUS SAVES.. but Best knocks in the rebound!!
by mr Cunninglinguist April 1, 2013
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Kings!

East Midlands slang term... to claim immunity from something, cross index and middle fingers of both hands and hold them up, and say "I've got Kings", it should be enough to get you off the hook or out of doing a chore

the opposite of "Dibs" or "Bags"
4 men at the bar in the Pub...
1st man: 'whos turn is it to get the beers in? I got the last ones in.'
2nd man: "Not me - I've got Kings!" (holding up crossed fingers)
3rd man: "Kings!" (also holding up crossed fingers)
1st man points to 4th man and says "...odd lines mate...they've got Kings... go get the beer!"
by Mr Cunninglinguist June 25, 2013
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shit in my hands and clap

Sarcastic Reply.
when asked to do something unpleasant or tedious, this response sums up how horrid you think that task is- and you are not going to do it .
Teacher: Smith, can you help me to hand out these excercise books to the rest of the class?
Smith: no chance...I'd rather shit in my hands and clap. Sir.
by Mr Cunninglinguist August 20, 2013
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