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mr Cunninglinguist's definitions

Hogged Up

Derbyshire slang term for when you have not had sex for a while and are getting desperate. Term can be used equally for men and women.
a build up of 'sperm pressure' in men can be caused by being Hogged Up
I'm so Hogged Up I'd fuck a horse...with John Wayne on it...again. sex
by Mr Cunninglinguist August 20, 2013
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Popeyeing of the forearm

a condition usually found in single men who spend so much time 'pleasing themselves in the Boy area' that their right arm over develops severely, like one of Popeye's arms...or a fiddler Crab
man: Doc, you got to help me, I can't get my shirt sleeve over my arm its so swollen.
Doc: I'm afraid young man that you have developed "Popeyeing of the forearm"
man:is it curable?
Doc: try not to wank your nutsack flat every night and shag someone instead, that'll sort it.
by Mr Cunninglinguist August 20, 2013
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shit in my hands and clap

Sarcastic Reply.
when asked to do something unpleasant or tedious, this response sums up how horrid you think that task is- and you are not going to do it .
Teacher: Smith, can you help me to hand out these excercise books to the rest of the class?
Smith: no chance...I'd rather shit in my hands and clap. Sir.
by Mr Cunninglinguist August 20, 2013
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Kings!

East Midlands slang term... to claim immunity from something, cross index and middle fingers of both hands and hold them up, and say "I've got Kings", it should be enough to get you off the hook or out of doing a chore

the opposite of "Dibs" or "Bags"
4 men at the bar in the Pub...
1st man: 'whos turn is it to get the beers in? I got the last ones in.'
2nd man: "Not me - I've got Kings!" (holding up crossed fingers)
3rd man: "Kings!" (also holding up crossed fingers)
1st man points to 4th man and says "...odd lines mate...they've got Kings... go get the beer!"
by Mr Cunninglinguist June 25, 2013
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JESUS

A pretty cool chap according to his fans. Played in goal for Tottenham Hotspur FC in the late 60's.
Eddie Wolstenholme (commentator): "JESUS SAVES.. but Best knocks in the rebound!!
by mr Cunninglinguist April 1, 2013
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shit in a piss time

Toilettiquette...When visiting the restroom out on a date, or at a dinner party, you take a lightning fast crap to fool your date or fellow diners into thinking you only needed a piss by being in the can for such a short time.

a very hurried poop taken so as not to keep guests waiting
I really needed to take a shit but my date had arrived, so I told her I was just 'nipping to the bathroom to freshen up' and took a quick 'shit in a piss time', so as not to keep her waiting
by mr Cunninglinguist October 26, 2012
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F1 Finish

the Money shot at the end of a Porn sequence where 3 guys 'arrive' at the same time all over one (or more) chicks (or guy) by emptying their cocks- in a similar way to the Podium finish of a Grand Prix race
".... and so at the end of the '75 Swedish Grand Prix all that remains is for Emerson, Mario and James to get hold of the Jereboams and drench the adoring fans and each other with champagne for a proper F1 Finish"
by mr cunninglinguist October 21, 2012
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