montypark's definitions

fake survey

What happens when you call someone to ask them out, but you get cold feet when they pick up the phone (or worse, when someone else picks up). Just pretend you are doing a survey to get out of the call. DO NOT ATTEMPT AN ACCENT.

Jerry: Another woman already? What did you say to her?
Liz: I did a fake survey!
Jerry: You did the fake survey!?
Liz: I know! I'm not over him!

by montypark February 28, 2009

spectrophilia

1. Sexual attraction to ghosts.

2. Engaging in sexual activity with a ghost.

Tom is known to have had some spectrophilia in the past.

by montypark January 18, 2009

Bedroom Racist

Someone whose sexual attraction favors a particular race or ethnicity. Since this is a product of product of personal taste, it cannot accurately be called bigotry.

"You and your green eyes; You're such a bedroom racist."

by montypark March 4, 2009

Bandini Mountain

A large pile of manure. Originally referred to a 100-foot tall mound at the Headquarters of the Bandini Fertilizer Company in Commerce, California.

"We're going skiing on Bandini mountain!"

by montypark January 23, 2009

Cat Pandering

Using cats or kittens in a YouTube video to get additional views. This strategy first became known in the movie "Funny People."

Mark: How did this get over 700,000 views!?
Leo: Because people love kittens, and it's a way for me to get my comedy out there.
Mark: That's completely unfair, it's just cat pandering.

by montypark October 10, 2009

Upward Spiraling Pigtail

A donut move by which a car, already moving straight ahead at high speed, begins to spin while still moving in the same general direction.

"This is the upward spiraling pigtail!"

"Why is it called that?"

"I don't know!"

by montypark March 14, 2009

Frankenmom

A middle-aged, fake boobed, fake-tanning, brazillian waxing, navel-piercing, reality-TV-obsessed woman who dresses like a slutty 12-year old and hangs out with her kids' friends, clinging to a fabled youth that was never hers to have. She takes all the wrong lessons from youth culture (and pop culture in general), with no ethical or aesthetic scruples whatsoever.

Most likely a divorcee. If not, she's trying desperately to "spice up" her marriage. Almost exclusively a product of the 2000s decade, found most commonly in the US and UK.

I kept trying to talk to that girl but this frankenmom kept moving in on me. Super creepy.

by montypark May 12, 2010