Definitions by montypark

Frankenmom 

A middle-aged, fake boobed, fake-tanning, brazillian waxing, navel-piercing, reality-TV-obsessed woman who dresses like a slutty 12-year old and hangs out with her kids' friends, clinging to a fabled youth that was never hers to have. She takes all the wrong lessons from youth culture (and pop culture in general), with no ethical or aesthetic scruples whatsoever.

Most likely a divorcee. If not, she's trying desperately to "spice up" her marriage. Almost exclusively a product of the 2000s decade, found most commonly in the US and UK.

I kept trying to talk to that girl but this frankenmom kept moving in on me. Super creepy.

Frankenmom by montypark May 12, 2010

Rule of three call 

Calling a celebrity to die after two other stars have passed in order to take the curse off of yourself.

Tracy: Do you have any urge to investigate corruption in Russia?

Betty: Is this a rule of three call!?

Rule of three call by montypark October 30, 2009

Cat Pandering 

Using cats or kittens in a YouTube video to get additional views. This strategy first became known in the movie "Funny People."

Mark: How did this get over 700,000 views!?
Leo: Because people love kittens, and it's a way for me to get my comedy out there.
Mark: That's completely unfair, it's just cat pandering.

Cat Pandering by montypark October 10, 2009

Sharks vs. Jets mentality 

The belief that, having established deep antipathy toward a group of people, any action taken by your opponents is inherently bad, and that you must oppose them regardless of principle or practicality.

Its unfortunate to see this sharks vs. jets mentality in political discourse, especially when so many things need to get done.

Sharks vs. Jets mentality by montypark April 16, 2009

Billy Crystal's Bane 

The idea that causes men to accept any voluntary female attention as an invitation to start a relationship, as described in When Harry Met Sally.

The Bane is a social contract based on the idea that no woman would otherwise befriend you.

I think this girl likes me, but I'm worried about Billy Crystal's Bane.

Billy Crystal's Bane by montypark March 31, 2009

Scooby-doo 

To get information out of someone by making them think that you are meant to have that information.

"Hey, Locke wanted me to take Miles' food, where is he keeping him?"

"Oh, last night we moved him into the boathouse--- you just totally scooby-doo'd me, didn't you?"

Scooby-doo by montypark March 15, 2009

Upward Spiraling Pigtail 

A donut move by which a car, already moving straight ahead at high speed, begins to spin while still moving in the same general direction.

"This is the upward spiraling pigtail!"

"Why is it called that?"

"I don't know!"

Upward Spiraling Pigtail by montypark March 14, 2009