minutemade002's definitions

Alex

someone who doesn't think he can do wrong and continues down every path that hurts you because his mommy said he’s a good guy

I told Alex he hurt me, and the next day he argued about how he’s a good guy and I should trust him (and his disgusting behavior).

by minutemade002 April 28, 2024

Martin

God’s favorite child. He’s so unusual that his motivations and desires, while he might express them through seemingly negligent opinions, evade your awareness. He sees the situations that he desires in anything. He sees his dreams coming to life. He almost ignores reality, because he knows God would never hurt his confidence. God rather let everyone suffer at the hands of his delusions than help him to realize anything. His utter oblivion feeds his creativity, and that’s his divine purpose.

Kid in Sunday School: Who is God’s favorite?

Teacher: God doesn’t have favorites.

Other kid: Yes, he does! Martin’s his favorite.

by minutemade002 December 24, 2023

Martin

He’s a bad lawyer. If you ever get in a sticky situation, he’ll have you locked up. He’ll have you locked up as your private defensive attorney. He can’t argue for shit. He can’t use anything but his own ignorance as leverage. He’ll make you realize that all the times you were worried about the charges against you, you should’ve been worried about him. He’ll be a bigger problem than the case itself. He’s someone who should have his license revoked. You can’t tell if he doesn’t care about the case or he’s trying to get you indicted, but he wants you to worship him as your savior, because the only reason he became a lawyer is to dream about the impact he’s had on another person’s life, so much so that he forgets about the job in between.

Who’s your lawyer?

Martin.

Aw, shit. You’re fucked.

by minutemade002 December 24, 2023

Alex

someone who claimed that the only reason someone wouldn’t want to be his slave is an obstacle of depression that he can cure by arguing about his entitlement

Alex tried to enslave me, and when that didn’t work he criticized my “mind” for not thinking that he’s the greatest and godliest being that has ever survived birth.

by minutemade002 April 28, 2024

Dean

almost the big person you wish you had—with one minor exception—he wants to touch you

Dean tried to steal my hugs and kisses in my sleep. Fuck you, Dean. I almost liked you, but you broke TWO rules.

by minutemade002 April 28, 2024

Reginald

Someone who understands people. He can relate to almost anyone. He’s not obsessed with being anything to anyone (and maybe that’s because everyone loves him anyways). He’s someone you’ll always want to tell all the things that really concern you, but you enjoy his company so much that you rather not disrupt your time with personal problems. He knows exactly what to say. He makes you feel a personal connection that you begin to expect in everyone else, but you quickly realize that there’s no one like him. He cares about how people interact with one another, but not so much that he interferes. Sometimes this confuses you. While he may want to keep you from suffering, he’s still a fucking pimp—a professional imp. He has a heart, but sometimes his desire to cause mischief defeats it.

Girl 1: I’ve been talking to someone else.

Girl 2: How exciting?

Girl 1: I honestly can’t stop thinking about Reginald. Everything I loved about him just runs through my mind like I’m wishing this “someone else” could just be him.

Girl 2: Oh, that’s a problem. Girl, get some help.

by minutemade002 December 26, 2023

Desiree

someone with covert dementia and covert narcissism

Desiree doesn’t remember anything she doesn’t want to remember.

Hmm. I wonder why.

by minutemade002 December 24, 2023