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michael foolsley's definitions

shield those tits

STT a female crossing arms in front of breasts if cold or vulnerable. school girls (pre-backpacks) used to block glands with books
that woman looks cold! yeah: STT! Shield those tits!
by michael foolsley December 7, 2009
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fuck the rolls

sex with an obese person -substituting rolls of fat for an orifice
joe couldn't find the orify so he had to opt out and fuck the rolls!
by michael foolsley November 23, 2009
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sam and allen

7-11, the "convenient" store!

once, probably on a construction site, a mush mouth guy spoke to me in a slurred (possibly drunken ?) drawl

"if you go to the SAM and ALLEN, would you git me a shit sammich ??" - i promptly 'filed away' this english prof's words for future use !
git your salt, sugar, beer, and cigarettes @ the SAM and ALLEN !
by michael foolsley September 11, 2023
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push something

extol something, what sales 'people' do... (this term was actually used by my grandfather, 40 years ago!)
as soon as i walk in the door, somebody calls me to push something
the telephone rang and it was somebody pushing something
by michael foolsley November 27, 2009
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chaw clit

CHOCOLATE -an oral 'treat'; as is cunnilingus! though 'CHAW' clit suggests roughness, it remains oral based! one doesn't necessarily 'chaw' (or chew) a clitoris, the wise person utilizes more of a tongue-caress.

upon experiencing the explosive results of this, the question of 'goodness' and/or validity of a 'ramming penis' seems desirable to the male only! -the emphasis of the tongue as regards to lesbians, should provide a masters degree education for the male.

AS a male, 'ramming to oblivion' DOES carry a bit of 'charm' but, as a would-be "gentleman", i like to 'mix-it-up'!!! -besides NOBODY deserves to go home unhappy!!

-NOW, time 4 some CHAW CLIT!!
he ate a piece of chaw clit while dreaming of lapping clit!

this chaw clits' almost as good as realclit!!

me like to lick you like chaw clit (subliminal message! and/or pickup line!)
by michael foolsley February 1, 2010
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john dung

'jack shit' -john dung would be the 'polite' say in church form.
i explained to pastor mcfoolsis that i didn't have john dung

i ordered a bunch of food at foolsley's, only to realize i had forgotten my 'coins'; and didn't have 'john dung'
by michael foolsley January 17, 2010
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sex surrogate gift

gee whiz! -another fucking birthday (christmas), and you're still having to get off alone!! how sad! i'm (santas') going to bring you a nice sex surrogate gift this year. you can rest back and 'watch the stars', while the surrogate does all the 'work'!!

you couldn't 'score' with michael foolsley 'cause you were three hundred pounds!!?? -no problem!!...in this box is a phone number...call the number, and order up YOUR type of sex surrogate!!
judy got the sex surrogate gift this year!! -after she got off, she was all smiles!

i'm hoping somebody gives me the sex surrogate gift this year!!!
by michael foolsley December 28, 2009
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