me old fruity's definitions

shitlip

1. a bizzarre sexual practice involving smearing shit on your partner's top lip after anal sex, see dirty sanchez
2. same as above, but done as a practical joke, usually whilst someone is sleeping/passed out etc. turd applied may or may not be human. the person wakes up to a most fragrant aroma.

slimy perv: fancy a shitlip tonight?
your daughter: okay!!!

Matt: haha look we just totally shitlipped joey with that dog crap we found outside!
joey: what..uh..how long was i out for? and uh, whats that smell?

by me old fruity September 5, 2005

ace of spades

a dump which requires only a one sheet wipe afterwards

gary was pleased that his abstaining from curry and beans had led to an increase in frequency of the hallowed 'ace of spades', thereby saving him enough money on toilet paper to buy a hummer.

by me old fruity January 4, 2007

scouse cashpoint

a fruit machine.

ch-ching!

Dazza: Eh Brian are you goin out tonight mate?
Brian: Nah mate don't get me dole money till friday
Dazza: Calm down calm down youse can give the scouse cashpoint a try!

by me old fruity May 23, 2006

NUS

National Union of Students. Join and you get a free card that gets you 20% off at pizza hut, 10% at hmv and uh...thats pretty much it.

bouncers don't accept nus cards as id because its easy for 16 yr olds to lie on the application form

by me old fruity August 29, 2005

multipla

ugliest car known to man. looks somewhere between a blob, an alien and that fat girl that never got asked to dance at parties so just sits in the corner giving her prettier friend evil eye. nissan are responsible for this 6 seater monstrosity.

my ex at NEC Motor Show to prospective buyers of Multipla: leave it alone, its fat and ugly.
me: snigger.

by me old fruity August 28, 2005

how much you normally pay?

Something all asian taxi drivers in the UK say when you get in the cab. Must be said with indian/pakistani accent for full effect, and can be very amusing if used correctly. see also:
can i help you my friend?
where u wanting to go?
my brother do it cheap for you!

when serving on the bar or in a shop, try asking 'how much you normally pay?' when a customer asks u how much something is, then laugh at their response

by me old fruity July 1, 2006

ken kaniff

apparently he's from conneticut, and somewhat closet homosexual. Eminem mentions him in several songs and skits.
ken seems to have a love/hate relationship with eminem.

there are rumours that he is in fact a real person who has an album titled 'the ken kaniff show', but details are sketchy.

'this is ken kaniff from the internet, tryna' lure your kids, into bed with him'
'guess who's back, back again, ken is back, tell some men, rub my back, rub my back, rub my back...'
'you want me to lick your ass, *eminem*?'

by me old fruity June 11, 2006