maxhole's definitions
smegzecutive (smeg zek yu tiv) NOUN. An especially sleazy businessman. From “smegma” and “executive.”
From 2001 to 2008, Tim Geithner, Ben Bernanke, Alan Greenspan and Henry Paulson helped to destroy the banking, insurance, mortgage and loan industries. In doing so, they have ruined millions of lives and wrecked the world economy.
Instead of jailing them, President Obama picked them to fix the nation's economy. They chose to give their old bosses and buddies trillions of taxpayer dollars with no strings attached. It was a smegzecutive decision.
The world's economy is still a stagnant swamp because the billionaires are hoarding the free money, and will continue to do so until prices have dropped low enough for them to buy everything of value.
Instead of jailing them, President Obama picked them to fix the nation's economy. They chose to give their old bosses and buddies trillions of taxpayer dollars with no strings attached. It was a smegzecutive decision.
The world's economy is still a stagnant swamp because the billionaires are hoarding the free money, and will continue to do so until prices have dropped low enough for them to buy everything of value.
by Maxhole June 23, 2009
Get the smegzecutive mug.That kitten attacks anything that moves. My hands are completely shredded, but I can't stay mad because he's so cute. He's a snaptious little snodgepocker.
by Maxhole June 23, 2009
Get the snaptious mug.snodgepocker (snodj pock er) NOUN. An annoying but endearing creature. Or is it endearing but annoying? Either way, you want to smack them, but can't because they are too Goddamned cute.
Like the cutest, fluffiest little kitten who keeps climbing up your legs and back with his needle-sharp claws to sit on your shoulder and purr.
Her- "How did he get stuck inside the piano?"
Him- "How? He's a hedgehog, that's what they do, look for dark places to curl up and sleep. And take a crap."
Her- "HE CRAPPED INSIDE MY PIANO!?"
(He pulls him out of the piano).
Him- "Sorry about that. Yeah, in't he a cute little snodgepocker?"
Her- "Ohhh... look at that little nosie!"
Him- "So... should we keep him, or call the Humane Society?"
Her- "He's making little piggy noises! We can't just give him away!"
Him- "So, what do you want to name him?"
Her- "Fluffy. Either Fluffy, or Shithead."
Him- "Welcome to the family, Shithead."
Her- "Can I hold him?"
Him- "Get your own damn hedgehog."
(she stands, staring.)
Him- "Shouldn't you be cleaning the shit out of your piano?"
Her- "I changed my mind about his name. I think he's more of a Fluffy."
Him- "Fluffy it is. Welcome to the family, Fluffy."
Her- "From now on, YOU'RE the one I'm calling Shithead."
Him- "There you go, sweet talkin' me again."
Her- "Just hand over the goddam hedgehog, Shithead."
Him- "OK. Here. Careful."
(He puts the hedgehog in her hands).
Her- "OW! Ow! What the fuck?! I am bleeding! You little fucker!"
Him- "The spines are sharp."
Her- "Ja think!?"
Him- "I told you to be careful."
Her- "He's grunting! What does that mean?"
Him- "It means he's hungry. I'll get him some food."
Her- "Oh, no you're not. I'M getting Fluffy's food. Aren't I , Fluffy? Fluffy says yes."
Him- "I'm coming along."
Her- "No, Fluffy says that Mr. Shithead should stay here to clean Fluffy's crap out of my piano. Doesn't he? Yesss he does."
Him- (grumbling) "Fucking hedgehog always takes her side."
Her- "How did he get stuck inside the piano?"
Him- "How? He's a hedgehog, that's what they do, look for dark places to curl up and sleep. And take a crap."
Her- "HE CRAPPED INSIDE MY PIANO!?"
(He pulls him out of the piano).
Him- "Sorry about that. Yeah, in't he a cute little snodgepocker?"
Her- "Ohhh... look at that little nosie!"
Him- "So... should we keep him, or call the Humane Society?"
Her- "He's making little piggy noises! We can't just give him away!"
Him- "So, what do you want to name him?"
Her- "Fluffy. Either Fluffy, or Shithead."
Him- "Welcome to the family, Shithead."
Her- "Can I hold him?"
Him- "Get your own damn hedgehog."
(she stands, staring.)
Him- "Shouldn't you be cleaning the shit out of your piano?"
Her- "I changed my mind about his name. I think he's more of a Fluffy."
Him- "Fluffy it is. Welcome to the family, Fluffy."
Her- "From now on, YOU'RE the one I'm calling Shithead."
Him- "There you go, sweet talkin' me again."
Her- "Just hand over the goddam hedgehog, Shithead."
Him- "OK. Here. Careful."
(He puts the hedgehog in her hands).
Her- "OW! Ow! What the fuck?! I am bleeding! You little fucker!"
Him- "The spines are sharp."
Her- "Ja think!?"
Him- "I told you to be careful."
Her- "He's grunting! What does that mean?"
Him- "It means he's hungry. I'll get him some food."
Her- "Oh, no you're not. I'M getting Fluffy's food. Aren't I , Fluffy? Fluffy says yes."
Him- "I'm coming along."
Her- "No, Fluffy says that Mr. Shithead should stay here to clean Fluffy's crap out of my piano. Doesn't he? Yesss he does."
Him- (grumbling) "Fucking hedgehog always takes her side."
by Maxhole June 23, 2009
Get the snodgepocker mug.Him- Fuck, Fuck, FUUUCCK! I ccccan't even strike a fffucking mmmatch!
Her- Let me tttry.
Him- Fffine, you tttry it!
Her- My ffffingers aren't working, they're tttoo cccold. Goddammit! I dropped the mmmatches.
Him- Ddddon't get all spagitated.
Her- I'm not spagitated, it's just freezing and you kkkkeep shouting.
Him- Sorry. Hey...
Her- Cut it out, I'm trying to start a fire.
Him- So am I.
Her- Oh! MMmmmmm.
Him- Waitaminute... Gggoddamn fucking zipper... WORK, DAMN YOU!
Her- Now who's spagitated?
(Loud ripping sound)
Her- Well, that's ONE way to get your jacket off.
Him- Shut up and kkkiss me.
Her- Let me tttry.
Him- Fffine, you tttry it!
Her- My ffffingers aren't working, they're tttoo cccold. Goddammit! I dropped the mmmatches.
Him- Ddddon't get all spagitated.
Her- I'm not spagitated, it's just freezing and you kkkkeep shouting.
Him- Sorry. Hey...
Her- Cut it out, I'm trying to start a fire.
Him- So am I.
Her- Oh! MMmmmmm.
Him- Waitaminute... Gggoddamn fucking zipper... WORK, DAMN YOU!
Her- Now who's spagitated?
(Loud ripping sound)
Her- Well, that's ONE way to get your jacket off.
Him- Shut up and kkkiss me.
by Maxhole June 23, 2009
Get the spagitated mug.Her- Why didn't you come?
Him- Oh, I came.
Her- But no spooge came out.
Him- Yeah, well, the third or fourth time, you start to run out.
Her- I didn't know that... How long does it take to make more?
Him- Spoogeneration only takes a day. Two days if you want a full charge.
Her- That's what I love about fucking you, it's so educational.
Him- Oh, I came.
Her- But no spooge came out.
Him- Yeah, well, the third or fourth time, you start to run out.
Her- I didn't know that... How long does it take to make more?
Him- Spoogeneration only takes a day. Two days if you want a full charge.
Her- That's what I love about fucking you, it's so educational.
by Maxhole June 24, 2009
Get the spoogeneration mug.The spoogickle is the smallest and slipperiest of the subatomic particles. This elusive, highly energetic particle can be found around high schools, especially in P.E. class, or that English class with the really hot teacher.
by Maxhole June 24, 2009
Get the spoogickle mug.Randy- Damn, that girl gots more curves than Indy 500.
Ron- She's a great fuck, too.
Randy- How would you know?
Ron- I dated her. That's Lisa.
Randy- Damn. I'd like to bite her on the ass and be dragged to death. Why'd you ever break up with a woman that hot?
Ron- I musta lost my mind. Sweetest lady I ever knew. She is spumptious.
Randy- Think she'd go out with me?
Ron- Not a chance.
Randy- Why?
Ron- 'Cuz you're a friend of mine.
Randy- Not anymore we're not, you asshole! Hey! Lisa! Wait up!
Ron- She's a great fuck, too.
Randy- How would you know?
Ron- I dated her. That's Lisa.
Randy- Damn. I'd like to bite her on the ass and be dragged to death. Why'd you ever break up with a woman that hot?
Ron- I musta lost my mind. Sweetest lady I ever knew. She is spumptious.
Randy- Think she'd go out with me?
Ron- Not a chance.
Randy- Why?
Ron- 'Cuz you're a friend of mine.
Randy- Not anymore we're not, you asshole! Hey! Lisa! Wait up!
by Maxhole June 24, 2009
Get the spumptious mug.