maxhole's definitions
Did you hear the Supreme Court just ruled that convicts don't have a right to DNA testing, even if they pay for it themselves! What a bunch of gavelmonkeys!
by Maxhole June 20, 2009
Get the gavelmonkeymug. YEOW! I just wanged my funnybone on the stove- oh fuck, now it's all throbbery.
or,
Every time I listen to Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D Minor I get all throbbery inside.
or,
Every time I listen to Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D Minor I get all throbbery inside.
by Maxhole June 24, 2009
Get the throbberymug. White House of Ill-Repute NOUN (huite hows uv il re peut) NOUN. A White House (1600 Pennsylvania Av., Washington D.C.) which is filled with whores like James Guckert and Scott McClellan, who will say anything for money is a house of ill-repute, or whorehouse (see “presstitute”).
"Sit there with all the other presstitutes and suck up phony press releases and talking points? Fuck that. I'd rather be out in the field, or digging through dusty old archives than cover that dog-and-pony show. I don't wanna be a press correspondent in the White House of Ill-Repute."
by Maxhole June 24, 2009
Get the White House of Ill-Reputemug. When Feinstein was a city supervisor, she got the mayor's job because he was assassinated.
While mayor of San Francisco, her husband owned a fuckton of rental property downtown, and quadrupled his net worth. Her money more than doubled.
Now that she's on the Senate Committees on defense, intelligence and homeland security, her husband's company has all these Iraq and Afghanistan construction projects. She votes with Republicans for war to send more money to her hubby.
She oozed her way into office and nothing sticks to her protective coating of slime.
She's not a Democrat, she's a Phlegmocrat.
While mayor of San Francisco, her husband owned a fuckton of rental property downtown, and quadrupled his net worth. Her money more than doubled.
Now that she's on the Senate Committees on defense, intelligence and homeland security, her husband's company has all these Iraq and Afghanistan construction projects. She votes with Republicans for war to send more money to her hubby.
She oozed her way into office and nothing sticks to her protective coating of slime.
She's not a Democrat, she's a Phlegmocrat.
by Maxhole June 22, 2009
Get the Phlegmocratmug. An extremely long, thick, hard penis that controls its owner so completely, he cannot prevent it from making all his decisions.
The questionnaire was long and boring.
"Have you ever driven more than 300 miles for sex?"
Three hundred miles? John mused to himself. How about three thousand? He'd done that at least a dozen times.
"This test was written by pussies." he murmured.
He finished, at last and turned in his form and #2 pencil to the redhead in the tight black leather skirt. "Thank you." she said, icily, as she slipped the form into the scoring machine, which began whirring softly. It spat out the form and she snatched it up and perused it with steadily increasing wonderment.
"Perfect score... this isn't possible... this... you... " she met John's arrogant stare. His faint smile. Was he for real?
"My god." she said at last.
"What is it like living under a pricktatorship?"
John smiled and tilted his head and sighed.
"Why don't you come home with me and find out for yourself?"
He observed once again, the splendor of the color nature program playing out on her skin. Her cheeks flushed in a riot of bright red, wildfire spreading out across her alabaster orbs as her heart began jackhammering and her eyes dilated.
"OK," she heard herself say.
It was time she did some real research.
"Have you ever driven more than 300 miles for sex?"
Three hundred miles? John mused to himself. How about three thousand? He'd done that at least a dozen times.
"This test was written by pussies." he murmured.
He finished, at last and turned in his form and #2 pencil to the redhead in the tight black leather skirt. "Thank you." she said, icily, as she slipped the form into the scoring machine, which began whirring softly. It spat out the form and she snatched it up and perused it with steadily increasing wonderment.
"Perfect score... this isn't possible... this... you... " she met John's arrogant stare. His faint smile. Was he for real?
"My god." she said at last.
"What is it like living under a pricktatorship?"
John smiled and tilted his head and sighed.
"Why don't you come home with me and find out for yourself?"
He observed once again, the splendor of the color nature program playing out on her skin. Her cheeks flushed in a riot of bright red, wildfire spreading out across her alabaster orbs as her heart began jackhammering and her eyes dilated.
"OK," she heard herself say.
It was time she did some real research.
by Maxhole June 22, 2009
Get the pricktatormug. Witless Protection Program (wit less pro tek shun pro gram) NOUN. An organization devoted to saving clueless people from the consequences of their stupidity.
Molly- Did you just threaten to kill the president?
Conrad- No, I said he's going to get shot.
Molly- How would you know?
Conrad- He's GOT to, nobody's going to stand for Obama giving a million dollars to every black person in the country!
Molly- What makes you think he's going to do that?
Conrad- Oh it's obvious. You know the way all those blacks work together.
(she scribbles something on a scrap of paper).
Molly- You are going to need this number.
Conrad- Who's this?
Molly- That's the number for the Witless Protection Program.
Conrad- No, I said he's going to get shot.
Molly- How would you know?
Conrad- He's GOT to, nobody's going to stand for Obama giving a million dollars to every black person in the country!
Molly- What makes you think he's going to do that?
Conrad- Oh it's obvious. You know the way all those blacks work together.
(she scribbles something on a scrap of paper).
Molly- You are going to need this number.
Conrad- Who's this?
Molly- That's the number for the Witless Protection Program.
by Maxhole June 25, 2009
Get the Witless Protection Programmug. Bro- Yaah! What the Hell!? A little animal just grabbed my ankle!
Sis- I see you met our Spadget.
Bro- He came out of nowhere!
Sis- That is his way.
Bro- Where'd he go?
Sis- One does not question the ways of the Spadget.
Bro- Why are you talking that way?
Sis- What way am I talking?
Bro- Like everything is some big mystical experience.
Sis- Oh. Sorry. It's just the way we talk about him here.
Bro- WHY?
Sis- We don't know where he came from, where he goes to sleep, what he eats, or if he's feral or somebody's pet that went wild.
Bro- Fucking thing could have rabies. Am I bleeding?
Sis- No.
Bro- You didn't even look!
Sis- He never breaks the skin.
Bro- Well, he's not wild, then. That's good.
Sis- We tried to catch him to take him to a vet to get him his vaccinations. Every time, we'd come out in the morning to find the bait gone and the trap empty.
Bro- Cool! So he's smart.
Sis- He's a furry little Einstein.
Bro- C'mere... Come here, little guy... Spadget... Spadgie-wadgie...
Sis- Oh, he doesn't come when you call.
Bro- Here, Spadgie... here boy... Want some beef jerky?
Sis- He's not going to come. He doesn't know you're calling his name... Oh my... what the fuck?
Bro- What a GOOD BOYYY...
Sis- Oh my gaw... WE HAVE BEEN OFFERING HIM ALL KINDS OF FOOD FOR THREE YEARS! And you've got him eating out of your hand!
Bro- Did you try beef jerky?
Sis- Yes, we tried EVERYTHING.
Bro- Even teriyaki flavor? Oh look, he likes having his belly scratched.
Sis- He's never even let me touch him! He never lets ANYONE touch him!
Bro- He's making little trilling sounds. Shhh. I think he's falling asleep.
Sis- I don't believe it. How did you get him to come out?
Bro- One does not question the ways of The Spadget.
Sis- Asshole.
Sis- I see you met our Spadget.
Bro- He came out of nowhere!
Sis- That is his way.
Bro- Where'd he go?
Sis- One does not question the ways of the Spadget.
Bro- Why are you talking that way?
Sis- What way am I talking?
Bro- Like everything is some big mystical experience.
Sis- Oh. Sorry. It's just the way we talk about him here.
Bro- WHY?
Sis- We don't know where he came from, where he goes to sleep, what he eats, or if he's feral or somebody's pet that went wild.
Bro- Fucking thing could have rabies. Am I bleeding?
Sis- No.
Bro- You didn't even look!
Sis- He never breaks the skin.
Bro- Well, he's not wild, then. That's good.
Sis- We tried to catch him to take him to a vet to get him his vaccinations. Every time, we'd come out in the morning to find the bait gone and the trap empty.
Bro- Cool! So he's smart.
Sis- He's a furry little Einstein.
Bro- C'mere... Come here, little guy... Spadget... Spadgie-wadgie...
Sis- Oh, he doesn't come when you call.
Bro- Here, Spadgie... here boy... Want some beef jerky?
Sis- He's not going to come. He doesn't know you're calling his name... Oh my... what the fuck?
Bro- What a GOOD BOYYY...
Sis- Oh my gaw... WE HAVE BEEN OFFERING HIM ALL KINDS OF FOOD FOR THREE YEARS! And you've got him eating out of your hand!
Bro- Did you try beef jerky?
Sis- Yes, we tried EVERYTHING.
Bro- Even teriyaki flavor? Oh look, he likes having his belly scratched.
Sis- He's never even let me touch him! He never lets ANYONE touch him!
Bro- He's making little trilling sounds. Shhh. I think he's falling asleep.
Sis- I don't believe it. How did you get him to come out?
Bro- One does not question the ways of The Spadget.
Sis- Asshole.
by Maxhole June 24, 2009
Get the spadgetmug.