fucknificent (fuk nif iss ent) ADJECTIVE. An extraordinarily gifted and beautiful sex partner (male or female).
by Maxhole June 20, 2009
Movies like "Sunset" and "The Secret of NIMH" and "Air America" are just disinfotainment, put out by Hearst and other Fascists to cover up the facts and libel their enemies under cover of "creative license."
by Maxhole June 20, 2009
dodograph (doh doh graf) NOUN. A stupid photograph, or a picture made using obsolete technology, such as Daguerrotype or Polaroid SX-70. From the extinct bird, "dodo" and "photograph."
I found a shot of my brother with his '70s hair, bell bottom jeans, a big, poofy down jacket and the best thing about it is that it's a genuine Polaroid dodograph.
by Maxhole June 19, 2009
I came back after a month in Europe and found the house trashed.
It stank of cigarettes, motorcycle parts in the living room, busted TV, sofa had all these burn marks. The sink was full of greasy, gray rotting sewage. My brand new cutting board and rosewood handled knives were warped, cracked and molding in the slime.
John hadn't done the dishes in an entire month, the slobnoxious prick.
It stank of cigarettes, motorcycle parts in the living room, busted TV, sofa had all these burn marks. The sink was full of greasy, gray rotting sewage. My brand new cutting board and rosewood handled knives were warped, cracked and molding in the slime.
John hadn't done the dishes in an entire month, the slobnoxious prick.
by Maxhole June 22, 2009
Guantanamoron (gwan ta na mo ron) NOUN. Any murderer, rapist or torturer who claims they did not know that murder, rape and torture are illegal. Also, ‘Gitmoron.’ From the U.S. Army prison guards and CIA interrogators at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, and “moron.”
I saw these burn marks on the kid's neck. So I asked him, "What happened? and he said, "I bad." The father had been burning his six-year-old with lit cigarettes. I confronted him and he said, "We do it all the time in my country." We got Child Protective Services on his ass and they locked up the Guantanamoron.
by Maxhole June 20, 2009
Bro- Yaah! What the Hell!? A little animal just grabbed my ankle!
Sis- I see you met our Spadget.
Bro- He came out of nowhere!
Sis- That is his way.
Bro- Where'd he go?
Sis- One does not question the ways of the Spadget.
Bro- Why are you talking that way?
Sis- What way am I talking?
Bro- Like everything is some big mystical experience.
Sis- Oh. Sorry. It's just the way we talk about him here.
Bro- WHY?
Sis- We don't know where he came from, where he goes to sleep, what he eats, or if he's feral or somebody's pet that went wild.
Bro- Fucking thing could have rabies. Am I bleeding?
Sis- No.
Bro- You didn't even look!
Sis- He never breaks the skin.
Bro- Well, he's not wild, then. That's good.
Sis- We tried to catch him to take him to a vet to get him his vaccinations. Every time, we'd come out in the morning to find the bait gone and the trap empty.
Bro- Cool! So he's smart.
Sis- He's a furry little Einstein.
Bro- C'mere... Come here, little guy... Spadget... Spadgie-wadgie...
Sis- Oh, he doesn't come when you call.
Bro- Here, Spadgie... here boy... Want some beef jerky?
Sis- He's not going to come. He doesn't know you're calling his name... Oh my... what the fuck?
Bro- What a GOOD BOYYY...
Sis- Oh my gaw... WE HAVE BEEN OFFERING HIM ALL KINDS OF FOOD FOR THREE YEARS! And you've got him eating out of your hand!
Bro- Did you try beef jerky?
Sis- Yes, we tried EVERYTHING.
Bro- Even teriyaki flavor? Oh look, he likes having his belly scratched.
Sis- He's never even let me touch him! He never lets ANYONE touch him!
Bro- He's making little trilling sounds. Shhh. I think he's falling asleep.
Sis- I don't believe it. How did you get him to come out?
Bro- One does not question the ways of The Spadget.
Sis- Asshole.
Sis- I see you met our Spadget.
Bro- He came out of nowhere!
Sis- That is his way.
Bro- Where'd he go?
Sis- One does not question the ways of the Spadget.
Bro- Why are you talking that way?
Sis- What way am I talking?
Bro- Like everything is some big mystical experience.
Sis- Oh. Sorry. It's just the way we talk about him here.
Bro- WHY?
Sis- We don't know where he came from, where he goes to sleep, what he eats, or if he's feral or somebody's pet that went wild.
Bro- Fucking thing could have rabies. Am I bleeding?
Sis- No.
Bro- You didn't even look!
Sis- He never breaks the skin.
Bro- Well, he's not wild, then. That's good.
Sis- We tried to catch him to take him to a vet to get him his vaccinations. Every time, we'd come out in the morning to find the bait gone and the trap empty.
Bro- Cool! So he's smart.
Sis- He's a furry little Einstein.
Bro- C'mere... Come here, little guy... Spadget... Spadgie-wadgie...
Sis- Oh, he doesn't come when you call.
Bro- Here, Spadgie... here boy... Want some beef jerky?
Sis- He's not going to come. He doesn't know you're calling his name... Oh my... what the fuck?
Bro- What a GOOD BOYYY...
Sis- Oh my gaw... WE HAVE BEEN OFFERING HIM ALL KINDS OF FOOD FOR THREE YEARS! And you've got him eating out of your hand!
Bro- Did you try beef jerky?
Sis- Yes, we tried EVERYTHING.
Bro- Even teriyaki flavor? Oh look, he likes having his belly scratched.
Sis- He's never even let me touch him! He never lets ANYONE touch him!
Bro- He's making little trilling sounds. Shhh. I think he's falling asleep.
Sis- I don't believe it. How did you get him to come out?
Bro- One does not question the ways of The Spadget.
Sis- Asshole.
by Maxhole June 24, 2009
An extremely long, thick, hard penis that controls its owner so completely, he cannot prevent it from making all his decisions.
The questionnaire was long and boring.
"Have you ever driven more than 300 miles for sex?"
Three hundred miles? John mused to himself. How about three thousand? He'd done that at least a dozen times.
"This test was written by pussies." he murmured.
He finished, at last and turned in his form and #2 pencil to the redhead in the tight black leather skirt. "Thank you." she said, icily, as she slipped the form into the scoring machine, which began whirring softly. It spat out the form and she snatched it up and perused it with steadily increasing wonderment.
"Perfect score... this isn't possible... this... you... " she met John's arrogant stare. His faint smile. Was he for real?
"My god." she said at last.
"What is it like living under a pricktatorship?"
John smiled and tilted his head and sighed.
"Why don't you come home with me and find out for yourself?"
He observed once again, the splendor of the color nature program playing out on her skin. Her cheeks flushed in a riot of bright red, wildfire spreading out across her alabaster orbs as her heart began jackhammering and her eyes dilated.
"OK," she heard herself say.
It was time she did some real research.
"Have you ever driven more than 300 miles for sex?"
Three hundred miles? John mused to himself. How about three thousand? He'd done that at least a dozen times.
"This test was written by pussies." he murmured.
He finished, at last and turned in his form and #2 pencil to the redhead in the tight black leather skirt. "Thank you." she said, icily, as she slipped the form into the scoring machine, which began whirring softly. It spat out the form and she snatched it up and perused it with steadily increasing wonderment.
"Perfect score... this isn't possible... this... you... " she met John's arrogant stare. His faint smile. Was he for real?
"My god." she said at last.
"What is it like living under a pricktatorship?"
John smiled and tilted his head and sighed.
"Why don't you come home with me and find out for yourself?"
He observed once again, the splendor of the color nature program playing out on her skin. Her cheeks flushed in a riot of bright red, wildfire spreading out across her alabaster orbs as her heart began jackhammering and her eyes dilated.
"OK," she heard herself say.
It was time she did some real research.
by Maxhole June 22, 2009