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maxhole's definitions

spadget

spadget (spad jet) NOUN. A surprising little gadget or creature.
Bro- Yaah! What the Hell!? A little animal just grabbed my ankle!
Sis- I see you met our Spadget.
Bro- He came out of nowhere!
Sis- That is his way.
Bro- Where'd he go?
Sis- One does not question the ways of the Spadget.
Bro- Why are you talking that way?
Sis- What way am I talking?
Bro- Like everything is some big mystical experience.
Sis- Oh. Sorry. It's just the way we talk about him here.
Bro- WHY?
Sis- We don't know where he came from, where he goes to sleep, what he eats, or if he's feral or somebody's pet that went wild.
Bro- Fucking thing could have rabies. Am I bleeding?
Sis- No.
Bro- You didn't even look!
Sis- He never breaks the skin.
Bro- Well, he's not wild, then. That's good.
Sis- We tried to catch him to take him to a vet to get him his vaccinations. Every time, we'd come out in the morning to find the bait gone and the trap empty.
Bro- Cool! So he's smart.
Sis- He's a furry little Einstein.
Bro- C'mere... Come here, little guy... Spadget... Spadgie-wadgie...
Sis- Oh, he doesn't come when you call.
Bro- Here, Spadgie... here boy... Want some beef jerky?
Sis- He's not going to come. He doesn't know you're calling his name... Oh my... what the fuck?
Bro- What a GOOD BOYYY...
Sis- Oh my gaw... WE HAVE BEEN OFFERING HIM ALL KINDS OF FOOD FOR THREE YEARS! And you've got him eating out of your hand!
Bro- Did you try beef jerky?
Sis- Yes, we tried EVERYTHING.
Bro- Even teriyaki flavor? Oh look, he likes having his belly scratched.
Sis- He's never even let me touch him! He never lets ANYONE touch him!
Bro- He's making little trilling sounds. Shhh. I think he's falling asleep.
Sis- I don't believe it. How did you get him to come out?
Bro- One does not question the ways of The Spadget.
Sis- Asshole.
by Maxhole June 24, 2009
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unintellectual

unintellectual (un in tel ek shu el) NOUN.

1. The opposite of intellectual.

2. A person who favors rash, smash-and-bash action, but has no escape plan.

3. A person suffering from frontal lobe damage or fetal alcohol effect.

4. An idiotic person who misleads smarter people.
For the last eight years, unintellectuals ran this country into the ground.

They trashed the military, science, schools and the economy while sneering at proven experts as elitists.

I don't know about you, but I'm ready to give brains a chance.
by Maxhole June 25, 2009
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Turd Reich

Turd Reich (terd raik) NOUN.

1. A play on the words, "Third Reich."

2. The long, brutal, fraudulent reign of U.S. President George Walker Bush.

3. The tenure of George Bush's “brain,” Karl Rove, (nickname, “turd blossom”), as Bush's chief adviser.

4. G.W. Bush is the third (get it, third/turd?) U.S. leader named “George.” (George Washington and G.H.W. Bush were the first two. See also, “Third Reich.”
Details of the Turd Reich's horrific torture practices came today in the so-called "Holy Grail" report from the CIA.
by Maxhole June 25, 2009
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hicktatorship

hicktatorship (hik tay ter ship) NOUN.

1. A dictatorship run by country bumpkins and rural dolts.

2. The George W. Bush Presidency.

3. Miserable failure.
When that gang of arrogant yahoos took over the White House and trashed the Constitution, they turned the U.S. into a hicktatorship.
by Maxhole June 25, 2009
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dubm

dubm (dub um) ADJECTIVE.

1. A deliberate misspelling of the word “dumb,” meaning worse than stupid; intentional idiocy.

2. Any deliberate, spectacularly miserable failure masked as “mission accomplished.” From the presidential nickname, “Dubya” and “dumb.”
Larnie- I am not dumb, you are the one who is dumb, 'D-U-B-M' spells dumb.

Nick- Uh, Larnie, "D-U-B-M" spells "dubbum."

Larnie- (thinking) ...I hate you.

Nick- Sorry, gotta go, I hear your wife calling! Be sure to write when you learn how! Hey, guess what everybody, Larnie says I'm dubm!

Everybody- Huh?
by Maxhole June 25, 2009
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splorp

splorp, (splorp) NOUN. A wet, gurgling noise, like a cow defecating.
Yossarian pulls off the bombardier's flack jacket, and 'splorp,' out spill his liver, kidneys and intestines.
by Maxhole June 25, 2009
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wiggleize

wiggleize (wig el ized) ADJECTIVE. To make a person, place or thing wiggle, jiggle and shake.
I'm gonna wiggleize you until you piss yourself laughing.
by Maxhole June 25, 2009
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