markvw59's definitions

Volume Gnomes

The invisible creatures who sneak into your empty, locked car and crank up the volume on the stereo so that it blares at 120 decibels when you return to the car and turn on the ignition. Some people mistakenly believe this phenomenon is due to the periodic cranking up of the stereo that takes place during a long drive, when in actuality it's due to the Volume Gnomes.

I think I'm going deaf. When I turned on my car, my Led Zeppelin CDwas playing at full blast. Volume Gnomes must've snuck in and cranked it up.

by markvw59 September 26, 2012

VolleyButt

The muscular, medium-large, spandex-covered bottom that females obtain after playing years of volleyball.

Man, did you see Paula? She was skinny as a rail before she started playing volleyball, but now she's got a serious VolleyButt.

by MarkVW59 January 10, 2010

Twin Vehicle Embarrassment

The feeling of embarrassment when you see a vehicle identical to yours next to you on the road. This usually entails a self-conscious attempt to avoid glancing at the other driver - who is no doubt attempting to avoid glancing at you.

"Why are you lookin' at me, man?"
"I'm ignoring that car over there. It's the same make, model and color as mine."
"Oh, you're suffering from Twin Vehicle Embarrassment. Drag."

by markvw59 April 19, 2012

Sir Lancealike

An urban bicyclist who dresses in trendy cycling attire, rides an expensive bike and conjures an aura of Lance Armstrong. These people frequently wear yellow colored jerseys, or jerseys that otherwise resemble those worn by Lance in the Tour-de-France.

Dude! Look at that poser on the bike wearing the yellow jersey and spandex shorts! It's Sir Lancealike!

by markvw59 June 29, 2010

cellicide

When you accidentally drop your cell phone in the toilet or sink, thereby causing its demise.

Why haven't you been answering your phone, dude?

Sorry, my phone's dead. It was cellicide. Dropped it in the toilet this morning.

by markvw59 March 27, 2010

hospice

The period of time ending with a person's death and beginning at the time in which they would have been put to sleep if they had been a pet.

Grandpa's in hospice care now, but he's totally out of it. I'd put him to sleep if he were a cat.

by markvw59 April 26, 2011

Allcaps Conservative

A person of conservative political orientation who emphasizes their point of view in emails by using ALL CAPS, or a combination of lowercase and ALL CAPS.

Dude, I just got this note from a friend of mine who's an Allcaps Conservative:

Send this note to your Congressman and tell them YOU DO NOT AGREE WITH THE SOCIALIST OBAMA'S PLAN FOR SOCIALIZED HEALTH CARE!

by Markvw59 January 20, 2010