Jade is a generally green semi precious gemstone and as well as being a colour (Hex: 558A84 RGB: 85,138,132.) It is also the best name for a female (of any species) The name Jade is best suited to someone with dark hair and tends to conjure up an oriental feel (mmm... sounds hot)
The love of my life,
My reason for existence;
All my dreams come true,
I offer no resistance.
Bad poetry will I write,
far past the end of time;
my drink of choice is vodka,
with soda, lemon and lime.
Life is hard, I must admit my despair
I am in love, all should be so sweet
What is so right cannot be wrong
I love you
Note: it is the authors opinion that poetry does not have to rhyme. This point is especially valid when the poetry in question is of such a poor standard as is the case above.
However; this is of no importance as
I love Jade and I will continue to regardless of everything
Jade is Sweetness
Tracey is a Bogan
I am and have always been The lowest priority
My reason for existence;
All my dreams come true,
I offer no resistance.
Bad poetry will I write,
far past the end of time;
my drink of choice is vodka,
with soda, lemon and lime.
Life is hard, I must admit my despair
I am in love, all should be so sweet
What is so right cannot be wrong
I love you
Note: it is the authors opinion that poetry does not have to rhyme. This point is especially valid when the poetry in question is of such a poor standard as is the case above.
However; this is of no importance as
I love Jade and I will continue to regardless of everything
Jade is Sweetness
Tracey is a Bogan
I am and have always been The lowest priority
by Luke Warm December 23, 2008
Get the Jademug. Abstaining from sexual activities for whatever reason
Cliff Richard is a member of the Church of Cliff Richard (I have my own doubts on the validity of his claim though)
Cliff Richard is a member of the Church of Cliff Richard (I have my own doubts on the validity of his claim though)
There are a wide variety of circumstances/choices that may qualify one for induction into the Church of Cliff Richard.
These include but are certainly not limited to:
1. Lack of interest
2. Lack of opportunity
3. Lack of effort
4. Lack of time
5. Lack of intelligence
6. Lack of self esteem/self worth/meaning/ego/gerbils/etc
7. Lack of puberty
8. Lack of appendages (apologies to those lacking appendages. Second hand hardly used or virgin appendages can be purchased at the gift shop of your local ‘Cliff’ – most of these have been repeatedly polished to perfection by experts in their field)
9. Physically unattractive to that which you are attracted to.
10. Emotionally unattractive to that which you are attracted to.
11. Morally unattractive to that which you are attracted to. (not necessarily a bad thing if they are evil n’ stuff, Bogans,)
12. Financially unattractive to that which you are attracted to.
13. Painful history/ poor choice in previous co-pilots on the airship of love
Excerpt from ‘The big book of Cliff – Chapter 11 The toe of the camel, verse 8:
And Cliffs half-brother Ralph’s next door neighbour’s grand daughter’s friend’s uncle did sayeth:
“I do believe there is at least one soul mate out there for everyone.
But there are approximately 6,869,575,369 (Six Billion, eight hundred and sixty nine million, five hundred and seventy five thousand, three hundred and sixty nine) people on this planet (most of them Bogans – that is a truck load of Bogans) at the moment; give up now, more chance of winning the lottery than finding true love. There is also the possibility that your soul mate could be born on the day that you die at the ripe old age of 267 after an extremely long, lonely, boring and meaningless life; that would kind of suck, but on the bright side you would be dead so you wouldn’t know anyway ”
Go Cliff, its ya birfday
…on Monday 14/10/1940
Hmm… “Monday’s child is fair of face” – too true, Cliff always did have very nice facial skin – very tanned for a Pom, very tanned indeed.
Luke Warm is a proud (refer: tool) member of the Church of Cliff Richard
While this is not a philosophy that I preach in the streets; it is who I am and is very important to me (refer: tool).
Anything or anyone that has an issue with my beliefs is more than welcome to do whatever they wish as long as it does not involve turning me on in anyway. You have been warned, I will most likely explode …and then some from any external stimuli regardless of whether it be emotional or physical.
Remember kids…
“It is indeed rad and hot to be Cliff
You cannot get hurt if you do not have feelings.
Close your heart and your soul, limit your mind; be one with nothing.”
Saturday 20/12/2008
These include but are certainly not limited to:
1. Lack of interest
2. Lack of opportunity
3. Lack of effort
4. Lack of time
5. Lack of intelligence
6. Lack of self esteem/self worth/meaning/ego/gerbils/etc
7. Lack of puberty
8. Lack of appendages (apologies to those lacking appendages. Second hand hardly used or virgin appendages can be purchased at the gift shop of your local ‘Cliff’ – most of these have been repeatedly polished to perfection by experts in their field)
9. Physically unattractive to that which you are attracted to.
10. Emotionally unattractive to that which you are attracted to.
11. Morally unattractive to that which you are attracted to. (not necessarily a bad thing if they are evil n’ stuff, Bogans,)
12. Financially unattractive to that which you are attracted to.
13. Painful history/ poor choice in previous co-pilots on the airship of love
Excerpt from ‘The big book of Cliff – Chapter 11 The toe of the camel, verse 8:
And Cliffs half-brother Ralph’s next door neighbour’s grand daughter’s friend’s uncle did sayeth:
“I do believe there is at least one soul mate out there for everyone.
But there are approximately 6,869,575,369 (Six Billion, eight hundred and sixty nine million, five hundred and seventy five thousand, three hundred and sixty nine) people on this planet (most of them Bogans – that is a truck load of Bogans) at the moment; give up now, more chance of winning the lottery than finding true love. There is also the possibility that your soul mate could be born on the day that you die at the ripe old age of 267 after an extremely long, lonely, boring and meaningless life; that would kind of suck, but on the bright side you would be dead so you wouldn’t know anyway ”
Go Cliff, its ya birfday
…on Monday 14/10/1940
Hmm… “Monday’s child is fair of face” – too true, Cliff always did have very nice facial skin – very tanned for a Pom, very tanned indeed.
Luke Warm is a proud (refer: tool) member of the Church of Cliff Richard
While this is not a philosophy that I preach in the streets; it is who I am and is very important to me (refer: tool).
Anything or anyone that has an issue with my beliefs is more than welcome to do whatever they wish as long as it does not involve turning me on in anyway. You have been warned, I will most likely explode …and then some from any external stimuli regardless of whether it be emotional or physical.
Remember kids…
“It is indeed rad and hot to be Cliff
You cannot get hurt if you do not have feelings.
Close your heart and your soul, limit your mind; be one with nothing.”
Saturday 20/12/2008
by Luke Warm December 23, 2008
Get the Church of Cliff Richardmug. We all have the right to:
1. Make our own choices.
2. Not be controlled by those who believe they are superior to us because they earn the money and pay the bills.
3. Be in control of our destinies (although we must listen to the universe when she calls).
4. Privacy, even from those we believe love us (When someone loves you they respect your privacy).
5. To dream, to hope for a better future for ourselves and for those that we love.
6. Forgive and be forgiven (true love does not require forgiveness).
7. Be understood and to understand ourselves (to understand ourselves we must first be honest with ourselves - Refer: Choice
8. To be happy (Refer: point 2)
9. To be able to tell the one you love that you love her while you are making love to her without fearing that she will never speak to you again.
10. To not be stoned everytime she is willing to love you.
11. To be able to hold her in your arms after sharing so much.
12. Give of ourselves freely; to not be told to follow the rules of Bogans.
13. Be respected; to be helped to find ourselves again when we are lost. (those who love you, will sacrifice everything to help you. Those who only say they love you, do not care enough to show you the respect that you deserve.
14. Follow our hearts and not our minds.
15. Take a risk even when there never was one.
16. Not be blackmailed by those we have become dependant on. - example: When you come home after an amazing day and they are sitting on the edge of the bed with their suitcases packed telling you they are going to leave - that is blackmail. It also suggests that they are willing to risk losing you.
That they do not respect your intelligence and are more than willing to exploit your gullibility.
Just in case you are wondering - if they were going to leave, they would have already left.
The dilemma for you in this situation is that you do not have time to make a choice even if you tell the one who really loves you, that you did have to make a choice.
17. Love and be loved.
1. Make our own choices.
2. Not be controlled by those who believe they are superior to us because they earn the money and pay the bills.
3. Be in control of our destinies (although we must listen to the universe when she calls).
4. Privacy, even from those we believe love us (When someone loves you they respect your privacy).
5. To dream, to hope for a better future for ourselves and for those that we love.
6. Forgive and be forgiven (true love does not require forgiveness).
7. Be understood and to understand ourselves (to understand ourselves we must first be honest with ourselves - Refer: Choice
8. To be happy (Refer: point 2)
9. To be able to tell the one you love that you love her while you are making love to her without fearing that she will never speak to you again.
10. To not be stoned everytime she is willing to love you.
11. To be able to hold her in your arms after sharing so much.
12. Give of ourselves freely; to not be told to follow the rules of Bogans.
13. Be respected; to be helped to find ourselves again when we are lost. (those who love you, will sacrifice everything to help you. Those who only say they love you, do not care enough to show you the respect that you deserve.
14. Follow our hearts and not our minds.
15. Take a risk even when there never was one.
16. Not be blackmailed by those we have become dependant on. - example: When you come home after an amazing day and they are sitting on the edge of the bed with their suitcases packed telling you they are going to leave - that is blackmail. It also suggests that they are willing to risk losing you.
That they do not respect your intelligence and are more than willing to exploit your gullibility.
Just in case you are wondering - if they were going to leave, they would have already left.
The dilemma for you in this situation is that you do not have time to make a choice even if you tell the one who really loves you, that you did have to make a choice.
17. Love and be loved.
by Luke warm October 16, 2008
Get the The Rightmug. When one becomes vacant during an activity and appears to be staring off into space
The stares occur due to a lack of interest in the local environment, activity or people due to too much self interest and the attention span of a stoned butterfly that flunked out of butterfly primary school in the 3rd grade for licking bus windows instead of innuendo laden flower parts.
The stares occur due to a lack of interest in the local environment, activity or people due to too much self interest and the attention span of a stoned butterfly that flunked out of butterfly primary school in the 3rd grade for licking bus windows instead of innuendo laden flower parts.
NotaBogan: ...It means a lot to me; I cant even begin to tell you how much of a difference this could make ...are you even listening?
ABogan4sure: Umm, what?, sorry Bogan I must have had the stares
NotaBogan: Well thank you for making me feel less than random yet again
ABogan4sure: Oh harden the fuck up and stop being a bogan
NotaBogan: I am so sorry that you have done something to hurt me again and blamed me for it. How could I be so thoughtless as to have feelings.
ABogan4sure: I dont have the energy for this any more
NotaBogan: You are truly the most Awesome friend
The example above may appear a tad random and ‘NotaBogan’ may also appear to be over-reacting somewhat; however, repeated episodes of the stares do tend to add up and become rather annoying (refer: Tracey Smiff)
Wednesday 05/11/2008
ABogan4sure: Umm, what?, sorry Bogan I must have had the stares
NotaBogan: Well thank you for making me feel less than random yet again
ABogan4sure: Oh harden the fuck up and stop being a bogan
NotaBogan: I am so sorry that you have done something to hurt me again and blamed me for it. How could I be so thoughtless as to have feelings.
ABogan4sure: I dont have the energy for this any more
NotaBogan: You are truly the most Awesome friend
The example above may appear a tad random and ‘NotaBogan’ may also appear to be over-reacting somewhat; however, repeated episodes of the stares do tend to add up and become rather annoying (refer: Tracey Smiff)
Wednesday 05/11/2008
by Luke Warm December 22, 2008
Get the The Staresmug. Imagine this senario:
You assertively walk into another room, you are focused, you have a purpose. People stop and stare because they can see you are not taking silver; small animals scurry with fervour away from your approaching footsteps; the clock ticks one last time....
You enter the room, you have reached your destination, the treasure is almost within your grasp; you can almost taste it, you want it oh so bad.
But then...
You have absolutely no idea what you were looking for or why you got off of your hot arse in the first place.
You retrace your steps; try ever so hard to remember what you were even doing, and just keep drawing blanks.
You have just experienced 'The Wanders'
You assertively walk into another room, you are focused, you have a purpose. People stop and stare because they can see you are not taking silver; small animals scurry with fervour away from your approaching footsteps; the clock ticks one last time....
You enter the room, you have reached your destination, the treasure is almost within your grasp; you can almost taste it, you want it oh so bad.
But then...
You have absolutely no idea what you were looking for or why you got off of your hot arse in the first place.
You retrace your steps; try ever so hard to remember what you were even doing, and just keep drawing blanks.
You have just experienced 'The Wanders'
Sandy: What are you looking for Bella?
Bella: Huh?
Sandy: Fair enough
Bella: Sorry boganface, just got the wanders
Sandy: It happens; maybe if you smoke a few Jades you will remember what the fuck you were looking for
Bella: Nah, i got it now; have you seen my lilac dolphin dildo?
Sandy: Ummm... yeah, Im keeping it warm for you
Bella: You are a sick fuck Sandy; definately time for treasure now
Bella: Huh?
Sandy: Fair enough
Bella: Sorry boganface, just got the wanders
Sandy: It happens; maybe if you smoke a few Jades you will remember what the fuck you were looking for
Bella: Nah, i got it now; have you seen my lilac dolphin dildo?
Sandy: Ummm... yeah, Im keeping it warm for you
Bella: You are a sick fuck Sandy; definately time for treasure now
by Luke Warm October 21, 2008
Get the The Wandersmug. Some choices you may like to consider:
1. We have the choice to make our own choices.
2. We have the choice to be honest with ourselves.
3. We have the choice to be a bogan if we so wish; we also have the choice to be a better bogan.
4. We have the choice to forget and to remember.
5. We have the choice to care or not to care.
6. We have the choice to be ourselves or to hide from ourselves.
7. We have the choice to trust and to have faith; we have the choice to be too scared.
8. We have the choice to change our minds if we so wish; we also have the choice to change them back.
9. We have the choice to do the right thing by ourselves and others; this should not need to be a choice.
10. We have the choice to grow or to hold ourselves back.
11. We have the choice to be strong (assistance may be required)
12. We have the choice to listen to the universe as we have the choice to be only normal.
13. We have the choice to follow the rules or to think for ourselves.
14. We have the choice to listen and to be listened to.
15. We have the choice to be respected even if we are not used to it.
16. We have the choice to lie or to be honest (refer: point 1) - caution: the choice to lie, as with all other choices has consequences including (but not limited to):
Damage to the heart, mind and soul of yourself and those who truly care for you.
There is not always a choice:
We do not choose to fall in love; it just happens.
Love is not found at the pub (Scrot-rot and Random Bogans are)
True love is not something you look for, pursue or find; it finds you.
Love is all, there is nothing else.
1. We have the choice to make our own choices.
2. We have the choice to be honest with ourselves.
3. We have the choice to be a bogan if we so wish; we also have the choice to be a better bogan.
4. We have the choice to forget and to remember.
5. We have the choice to care or not to care.
6. We have the choice to be ourselves or to hide from ourselves.
7. We have the choice to trust and to have faith; we have the choice to be too scared.
8. We have the choice to change our minds if we so wish; we also have the choice to change them back.
9. We have the choice to do the right thing by ourselves and others; this should not need to be a choice.
10. We have the choice to grow or to hold ourselves back.
11. We have the choice to be strong (assistance may be required)
12. We have the choice to listen to the universe as we have the choice to be only normal.
13. We have the choice to follow the rules or to think for ourselves.
14. We have the choice to listen and to be listened to.
15. We have the choice to be respected even if we are not used to it.
16. We have the choice to lie or to be honest (refer: point 1) - caution: the choice to lie, as with all other choices has consequences including (but not limited to):
Damage to the heart, mind and soul of yourself and those who truly care for you.
There is not always a choice:
We do not choose to fall in love; it just happens.
Love is not found at the pub (Scrot-rot and Random Bogans are)
True love is not something you look for, pursue or find; it finds you.
Love is all, there is nothing else.
by Luke Warm October 16, 2008
Get the Choicemug. These are some examples of questions:
What did I do wrong?
What didn’t I do right?
How can you not trust me?
How can you not love me when my love for you is everything?
How can you let it fade away?
I’m up your bum, cant you feel it?
Why do you let yourself be held back?
Why didn’t you leave Tracey in Victoria; she is a Bogan & a crack ho ?
How can you forget feelings?
How can you say I read too much into things and still accuse me twice of 'psychic harassment'?
Why do you lie to me?
Why do you feel the need to lie to me?
How can you make a decision not to love someone?
How can you stand being so fucking hot?
How do you expect me to be hard when I cant tell you I love you while Im making love with you; i dont get to hold you afterwards and you're not even going to like me the next week?
How could I ever love again?
How could I do that to myself or to anyone else again?
Why would I tell you I’m in love with you if I didn’t mean it?
Why don’t you understand that falling in love with someone when you are not looking for it and you already think you are in love makes it even more real?
Why does your pussy fit my face so well? (well it does, I’m just saying)
Why do you always lie?
Why aren’t you here with me right now?
Thursday 28/08/2008
What did I do wrong?
What didn’t I do right?
How can you not trust me?
How can you not love me when my love for you is everything?
How can you let it fade away?
I’m up your bum, cant you feel it?
Why do you let yourself be held back?
Why didn’t you leave Tracey in Victoria; she is a Bogan & a crack ho ?
How can you forget feelings?
How can you say I read too much into things and still accuse me twice of 'psychic harassment'?
Why do you lie to me?
Why do you feel the need to lie to me?
How can you make a decision not to love someone?
How can you stand being so fucking hot?
How do you expect me to be hard when I cant tell you I love you while Im making love with you; i dont get to hold you afterwards and you're not even going to like me the next week?
How could I ever love again?
How could I do that to myself or to anyone else again?
Why would I tell you I’m in love with you if I didn’t mean it?
Why don’t you understand that falling in love with someone when you are not looking for it and you already think you are in love makes it even more real?
Why does your pussy fit my face so well? (well it does, I’m just saying)
Why do you always lie?
Why aren’t you here with me right now?
Thursday 28/08/2008
by Luke Warm December 18, 2008
Get the Questionsmug.