couldn't knock the skin off a rice pudding.

A term refering to pathetic fire power or fighting ability.

Dave, did you watch Star Trek last night?
Pete, yes but the Enterpise couldn't knock the skin off a rice pudding.

by looart January 04, 2020

Knacker Laquer

Knacker Laquer
Adds lustre to your cluster
and glitter to your shitter.

Joe: John has improved his looks since getting a new girl fred.
Fred: Yes I bet he is even using Knacker Laquer to impress.

by looart September 16, 2019

excretial extravaganza

A good shit and some.

Joe, You were a long time in the toilet.
Jack, Yes last nights vindaloo caused an excretial extravaganza.

by looart November 27, 2018

hieroglyphs

The brown writing on the bottom of the pan after the previous occupant has had a particularly satisfying experience. Can be used for fortune telling in a similar manner to tea leaves.

When I stared into the depths there be hieroglyphs.

by looart March 01, 2013

good arse

A comment made by a pearson who has just passed wind to inform those present of the event.
Similar to "more tea vicar".

Joe just passed wind and issued the obligatory good arse comment.

by looart March 23, 2019

ambulatory zoom

When a camera has limited zoom functionality one can walk closer to the target to obtain the required zoom effect.

John, the lighthouse looks very small in the cameras viewfinder.
Jim, we will use ambulatory zoom.
John, which button enables that?
Jim, we just walk closer!

by looart September 24, 2018

dropped his back

A term used when someone has released a pungent fart.

Joe: Look out Dave has just dropped his back, evacuate the room

by looart May 25, 2019