Definitions by looart

couldn't knock the skin off a rice pudding. 

A term refering to pathetic fire power or fighting ability.

Dave, did you watch Star Trek last night?
Pete, yes but the Enterpise couldn't knock the skin off a rice pudding.

couldn't knock the skin off a rice pudding. by looart January 4, 2020

Knacker Laquer 

Knacker Laquer
Adds lustre to your cluster
and glitter to your shitter.

Joe: John has improved his looks since getting a new girl fred.
Fred: Yes I bet he is even using Knacker Laquer to impress.

Knacker Laquer by looart September 16, 2019

dropped his back 

A term used when someone has released a pungent fart.

Joe: Look out Dave has just dropped his back, evacuate the room

dropped his back by looart May 25, 2019

good arse 

A comment made by a pearson who has just passed wind to inform those present of the event.
Similar to "more tea vicar".

Joe just passed wind and issued the obligatory good arse comment.

good arse by looart March 23, 2019

excretial extravaganza 

A good shit and some.

Joe, You were a long time in the toilet.
Jack, Yes last nights vindaloo caused an excretial extravaganza.

excretial extravaganza by looart November 27, 2018

ambulatory zoom 

When a camera has limited zoom functionality one can walk closer to the target to obtain the required zoom effect.

John, the lighthouse looks very small in the cameras viewfinder.
Jim, we will use ambulatory zoom.
John, which button enables that?
Jim, we just walk closer!

ambulatory zoom by looart September 24, 2018

hieroglyphs 

The brown writing on the bottom of the pan after the previous occupant has had a particularly satisfying experience. Can be used for fortune telling in a similar manner to tea leaves.

When I stared into the depths there be hieroglyphs.

hieroglyphs by looart March 1, 2013