Definitions by little-miss can't do wrong

However 

To the layman, it's an alternative to but. However, the connotations of but are wholly negative, whereas however provides an Icarus from the ashes.

Use it sparingly, use it well.

She: 'I must profess I have a big butt. However, it's as shapely as the legend of bootylicious, therefore you must worship.'
You: indeed.

However by little-miss can't do wrong September 10, 2011

Family look best in photographs 

An ancient Greek proverb noting the momentary lapse between discomfort and comedy, between estranged family members when a camera lens watches over them like the legacy they yearn to create for themselves.

Photographer: 'Say: Family look best in photographs'
Family: '? 0........1........2'
Photographer: (pauses until the family realise no ancient Greek proverb could involve a camera)........CLICK
Family: '........4........5........applause :)'

Family look best in photographs by little-miss can't do wrong September 10, 2011

Cheeky Beer

That most glorious of things: a beer at an otherwise inappropriate moment with a dear friend.

You/they: 'Fancy a Cheeky Beer?'
They/you: 'I really ought to get back to work, but for you my sweetness… We'll make an exception!'

Cheeky Beer by little-miss can't do wrong September 10, 2011

Adamant 

When someone uses the word adamant in a sentence to try sound precise and determined, lower the tone and throw their momentum right off by directing the conversation to 80's legend Adam Ant, of Adam and the Ants.

They: '...so I told her I was adamant that...'
You: 'Hold-up! YOU were Adam Ant, 1980's pop star & all 'round Goodfella?'
They: 'Eh, er, um, wha...?!?'
You: 'You know, Adam Ant. War paint on face? Answers to 'Highwayman'? Swings from chandeliers?'
They: "No, I was just sayin'…'
You: 'Are you… Adamant about THAT? just sayin''
They: '....'

Adamant by little-miss can't do wrong September 10, 2011

Smug Ninjas 

Cyclists appearing from nowhere, who pass the cars which have already stopped for a red light.

Driver: 'I did the decent thing and stopped on amber, only to forsake the next light because I was blocked by a gazillion Smug Ninjas, who turned-up before I could break away'

Smug Ninjas by little-miss can't do wrong September 9, 2011

Export 

An export is a pint sanctioned by a beloved local. Unlike a regular pint, this one is endorsed by the pub, who are entirely happy that you take it home with you, glass and all.

It must be noted that with power comes great responsibility. The glass must be returned within a 24 hour period, lest said privileges be revoked.

Should a member of staff ever question the loyalty of an export beneficiary, his/her door keys must be offered to whomever asks, with an invitation to check said home for unreturned glasses. If a single pub glass is found, said folk be barred for a month.

You: 'What time are you closing tonight?'
Host: 'In twenty minutes'
You: 'May I have a pint now… and an export for later?'
Host: 'Certainly'

Export by little-miss can't do wrong September 9, 2011

Stage Fright 

The time-freezing effect which occurs when you speak to someone through a bathroom door.

Telling them to hurry up will only prolong the experience.

You: Hurry up, we have to go already!
They: Stage Fright.
You: Damned Freelance Bladder, we're only going around the corner.

Stage Fright by little-miss can't do wrong August 21, 2011