laserswordofdeath +3's definitions

Emojirotica

A type of virtual sex act where only emojis are used. Common amongst teens and thirty-somethings who are trying to act younger.

John: 💪

Claire: 👀

John: 😈

Claire: 😍

John: 🙏

Claire: ✔

John: 🍆

Claire: 😳

John: 👉

Claire:👌

John: 👉👌

Claire:💦

John: 🔥🔥🔥

Claire:💥💥💥

John: 🚬

Claire:🚼

John: ⛔

Claire: 🙏

John: 🚪

Claire:😢

John: You are taking this emojirotica way too far.

by laserswordofdeath +3 April 20, 2018

Mommy Pee break

A Mommy Pee Break is when a mother goes to the loo for a second and the kids decide to use that exact moment to raise all sorts of hell and run amok. Usually ends up in the house being trashed or burned down.

Candice: I just left them for a second and when I came back, all hell was loose! The ADSL cable is unplugged, the flatscreen TV has been demolished, my two year old is covered in cream, my perfume has been thrown down the sink and the dog has been painted green! All in the time it took for me to have a pee!

Jacques: Sounds like a standard Mommy Pee Break. If they are still alive and the house is still standing, we are doing good.

Candice: FML

by laserswordofdeath +3 April 19, 2018

Mommy Pee break

The time when kids get up to the craziest things, run amok and tear the house down. Usually happens when the mother has to relieve her bladder.
Can lead to rooms being destroyed and/or infanticide.

Candice: "Omfg! I was in the bathroom for ONE MINUTE! And when I came back, the plasma TV is broken on the floor, the ADSL cable had been chewed off, my two year old is covered in body cream, there is food on the ground and the dog is spraypainted green!"

Jacques: "Sounds like your standard Mommy Pee Break. Seriously, if the house was not set on fire and your kids are still in one piece, you count yourself lucky"

Candice: "What?! You think this is funny? WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I DO ALL DAY?

Jacques: "Calm down, it's okay, I'm..."

Candice: "DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN YOU SON OF A BITCH! I KNOW WHAT YOU DID WITH ELAINE!"

Jacques: "Wait, what, who told you?!"

Candice: "I FUCKING SAW YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!"

Jacques: ...

by laserswordofdeath +3 April 19, 2018

Emojinal Breakdown

An emojinal breakdown occurs when a participant in a conversation uses an emoji totally unsuited or inappropriate to the discussion at hand. Usually would involve contrasting emotions and makes the author of the message appear like a total dick.

Dude 1: holy crap did you hear about the massacre at the school last week? 14 people dead! :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D

Dude 2: Dude seriously what the fuck?! You are LAUGHING about that?

Dude 1: Oh uhm. Was supposed to be the sad emoji. Sorry man. Was having an emojinal breakdown

by laserswordofdeath +3 November 4, 2017

menstropire

menstropire - a person who engages in oral sex on a woman during her period

I am not fond of going down on my lady. Except during that time of the month. I am a total menstropire, sue me

by laserswordofdeath +3 September 8, 2016

chocolate ball cheerleader

A person who deliberately wipes back to front

I love going down on my man, especially after a stomach bug. He is a real chocolate ball cheerleader - adds that little extra!

by laserswordofdeath +3 September 8, 2016

OCWA

Acronym for 'Obsessive Compulsive Work Avoidance': the act of trying to avoid as much work as possible, with the objective of not being caught. Usually done (successfully) by executives and directors.

I have been busy all morning with OCWA all morning, as I really don't feel like doing the job cards today.

by laserswordofdeath +3 September 8, 2016