laserswordofdeath +3's definitions

fuckallrounder

A cricketing term. Implies that a certain player is chosen as both a bowler and a batsman, but is consistently performing poorly.

Jeff is supposed to be able to bat and bowl, but he ain't good at either. He is a fuckallrounder

by laserswordofdeath +3 August 28, 2016

Stinky Raccoon

When a house guest leaves you a turd in the toilet bowl without flushing

I like having Jill over at my place, she may be the one. But today she left me a stinky raccoon for the second time this week and this gives me doubts over our relationship

by laserswordofdeath +3 September 8, 2016

OCWA

Acronym for 'Obsessive Compulsive Work Avoidance': the act of trying to avoid as much work as possible, with the objective of not being caught. Usually done (successfully) by executives and directors.

I have been busy all morning with OCWA all morning, as I really don't feel like doing the job cards today.

by laserswordofdeath +3 September 8, 2016

sheach

A word describing an odd colour scheme that lays somewhere between "shit" and "peach"

I really don't know what colour to paint the new house. I think I will go for a light shade of sheach

by laserswordofdeath +3 August 27, 2016

chocolate ball teabag

Similar to the tamer, cleaner teabag, but involves your scrotum to be covered in shit

Tony gave me the ol' chocolate ball teabag yesterday. Was enjoyable and all, but I forgot to clean my face afterwards

by laserswordofdeath +3 September 8, 2016

Mommy Pee break

A Mommy Pee Break is when a mother goes to the loo for a second and the kids decide to use that exact moment to raise all sorts of hell and run amok. Usually ends up in the house being trashed or burned down.

Candice: I just left them for a second and when I came back, all hell was loose! The ADSL cable is unplugged, the flatscreen TV has been demolished, my two year old is covered in cream, my perfume has been thrown down the sink and the dog has been painted green! All in the time it took for me to have a pee!

Jacques: Sounds like a standard Mommy Pee Break. If they are still alive and the house is still standing, we are doing good.

Candice: FML

by laserswordofdeath +3 April 19, 2018

Emojinal Breakdown

An emojinal breakdown occurs when a participant in a conversation uses an emoji totally unsuited or inappropriate to the discussion at hand. Usually would involve contrasting emotions and makes the author of the message appear like a total dick.

Dude 1: holy crap did you hear about the massacre at the school last week? 14 people dead! :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D

Dude 2: Dude seriously what the fuck?! You are LAUGHING about that?

Dude 1: Oh uhm. Was supposed to be the sad emoji. Sorry man. Was having an emojinal breakdown

by laserswordofdeath +3 November 4, 2017