kevnar's definitions
The temporary amnesia you get when texting someone with a question or comment, and having them reply several hours or days, long after you've forgotten what it was you asked them. This also works in chat conversations where the person replies long after you closed the chat window.
Jack: Wanna check out that show on Friday? They got a two for one in the paper today.
Dana (three days later): Sure but I didn't get the paper.
Jack: Huh? What paper? Sorry. Textnesia.
Dana (three days later): Sure but I didn't get the paper.
Jack: Huh? What paper? Sorry. Textnesia.
by Kevnar April 11, 2008
Get the textnesiamug. From Forest Gump. Said to someone who predicted or promised something that never quite showed up, as in the mountains of shrimp Forest prayed for. The implication is that it may show up yet, but you doubt it.
Robert: "You said it was supposed to be sunny today? Where the hell's this god of yours?"
John: "You gotta see this guitar player, man! He's like better than Jimmy Page!"
Tim (forty-five minutes later): "Where the hell's this god of yours?""
John: "You gotta see this guitar player, man! He's like better than Jimmy Page!"
Tim (forty-five minutes later): "Where the hell's this god of yours?""
by Kevnar January 28, 2008
Get the Where the hell's this god of yours?mug. An "I have this friend" story, is a story where someone asks for advice about a problem that's really about them, but they're too embarrassed to say so. They're similar to "I know this guy" stories where one person thinks up something funny, cool, gross, weird, or sexy, but essentially untrue, and tries to pass it off as true by framing it as if it happened to someone they supposedly know. "I have this friend" stories are about seeking advice about an embarrassing problem however, not about entertainment.
Janet: "I need your opinion about something."
Mary: "What's up?"
Janet: "Well, I have this friend... She's thinking about cheating on her boyfriend with an old flame who called her up last week. She's not sure what she should do about it."
Mary: "Oh my God, Janet! Chris called you last week!?"
Janet: "It's not about me! It's a friend of mine!"
Mary: "Sure it is. Just make sure Tom doesn't find out."
Mary: "What's up?"
Janet: "Well, I have this friend... She's thinking about cheating on her boyfriend with an old flame who called her up last week. She's not sure what she should do about it."
Mary: "Oh my God, Janet! Chris called you last week!?"
Janet: "It's not about me! It's a friend of mine!"
Mary: "Sure it is. Just make sure Tom doesn't find out."
by kevnar February 20, 2007
Get the I have this friendmug. Pronounced B'Yawesome. Stands for Beyond Awesome. From Disney's Bolt where Rhino the Hamster is cheering himself on into the echoey air duct.
by kevnar July 22, 2009
Get the B'Awesomemug. From the philosophy of best-selling author and spiritualist Eckhart Tolle, a pain-body is the collective manifestation of all the pain, misery, and sorrow a person has ever gone through their entire life, and all the things they inherited from their culture and family history as well. A person's pain-body feeds and strengthens itself by making themselves and others miserable. Tolle suggests that when someone is trying to pick a fight with you, piss you off, or just generally be a nuisance, it's simply their pain-body trying to feed. When someone is constantly on your ass about something, trying desperately to make your life miserable, they're said to have a very dense pain-body.
John: "Man, that Mary-ann is a walking pain-body if I ever saw one. She's been trying to piss me off all day."
Pete: "Then you probably shouldn't have married the bitch, huh?"
John: "Fuck you."
Pete: "Then you probably shouldn't have married the bitch, huh?"
John: "Fuck you."
by Kevnar May 4, 2008
Get the pain-bodymug. An "I know this guy" story is a bullshit story where one person thinks up something funny, cool, gross, weird, or sexy, but essentially untrue, and tries to pass it off as true by framing it as if it happened to someone they supposedly know. It's similar to the "I have this friend" story, where someone asks for advice about a problem that's really about them but they're too embarrassed to say so. "I know this guy" stories are purely about entertainment, however, not about seeking advice.
Jerry: "I know this guy... he caught his sister having sex with their cousin and two friends in their uncle's bed."
Joe: "Sure, Jerry. You *know* this guy. Riiight."
Jerry: "I swear! It's true!"
Joe: "Bullshit. What was the guy's name then?"
Jerry: "Well I don't *know* him, but I heard about it."
Joe: "Sure you did. Sick pervert."
Joe: "Sure, Jerry. You *know* this guy. Riiight."
Jerry: "I swear! It's true!"
Joe: "Bullshit. What was the guy's name then?"
Jerry: "Well I don't *know* him, but I heard about it."
Joe: "Sure you did. Sick pervert."
by kevnar February 19, 2007
Get the I Know This Guymug. A phrase used to indicate something is incredibly slow, that you could take a nap by the time it finishes. It's usually used sarcastically and in exaggeration of things that are slower than they should be, but not literally long enough to take a nap (15 minutes or so).
"I might as well put it in park and take a nap by the time this frickin' light turns green."
"This computer is taking forever to boot up. I could probably go get a coffee, bang that secretary in accounting and take a nap by the time it's ready to go."
"You haven't finished yet? Damn, baby! I'm just gonna take a nap already. Wake me up when you're done."
"Hey, waitress, we're just gonna take a nap over here. Wake us up when you finally get around to taking our order."
"This computer is taking forever to boot up. I could probably go get a coffee, bang that secretary in accounting and take a nap by the time it's ready to go."
"You haven't finished yet? Damn, baby! I'm just gonna take a nap already. Wake me up when you're done."
"Hey, waitress, we're just gonna take a nap over here. Wake us up when you finally get around to taking our order."
by kevnar August 13, 2009
Get the Take a napmug.