pregame

A term used by alcoholics who need to be drunk in order to have a good time. They chug their own bottles before going to an event to get a buzz on. And then they drive half drunk to the event and drink some more. Fun. Wee.

"Dude, are we gonna pregame before the bar? Drinks are so expensive!"
"Let's drive down there and pregame in the parking lot."
"That's lame, man!"
"At least we won't pulled over by the cops."

by kevnar April 05, 2008

textnesia

The temporary amnesia you get when texting someone with a question or comment, and having them reply several hours or days, long after you've forgotten what it was you asked them. This also works in chat conversations where the person replies long after you closed the chat window.

Jack: Wanna check out that show on Friday? They got a two for one in the paper today.

Dana (three days later): Sure but I didn't get the paper.

Jack: Huh? What paper? Sorry. Textnesia.

by Kevnar April 11, 2008

Smitch

A word game played between bored friends where one person puts together a random string of letters into a pronounceable, but non-English word, and the other person has to explain what incident created that sound effect. The more hilarious the better.

John: Let's play Smitch.
Jared: Okay. I'll start... "Fliff!"
John: A mosquito flying into a candle flame.
Jared: Good one.
John: "Kloink!"
Jared: Someone flings a quarter at a veterans parade and it bounces off an old dude's helmet.
John: Ha ha ha! Yeah... "Kloink!"

by kevnar March 01, 2009

Hollywood IQ

The apparent idiocy of a character in a movie that does selectively moronic things that no real human being would ever do, usually for the purpose of advancing a lousy plot. Examples include, going back for the dog, entering a creepy-looking house alone wearing only your panties, and of course suddenly forgiving a love interest who treated you like dirt through the whole movie just for the sake of a happy ending.

"He's smart enough to concoct an experimental serum to genetically enhance the human body and mind, but dumb enough to try it on himself first, before testing it on rats or bunnies. WTF?"
"Hollywood IQ. Definitely."

"She's supposedly a mental olympian competing with the intellectual elite in a tournament in another city, but she doesn't even notice chaotic screaming and a 1500ft wave coming right at her as she goes back to fetch some stranger's purse from a taxi. Right..."
"She's operating with a Hollywood IQ, man. Give her a break."

by Kevnar August 26, 2009

I have this friend

An "I have this friend" story, is a story where someone asks for advice about a problem that's really about them, but they're too embarrassed to say so. They're similar to "I know this guy" stories where one person thinks up something funny, cool, gross, weird, or sexy, but essentially untrue, and tries to pass it off as true by framing it as if it happened to someone they supposedly know. "I have this friend" stories are about seeking advice about an embarrassing problem however, not about entertainment.

Janet: "I need your opinion about something."
Mary: "What's up?"
Janet: "Well, I have this friend... She's thinking about cheating on her boyfriend with an old flame who called her up last week. She's not sure what she should do about it."
Mary: "Oh my God, Janet! Chris called you last week!?"
Janet: "It's not about me! It's a friend of mine!"
Mary: "Sure it is. Just make sure Tom doesn't find out."

by kevnar February 20, 2007

Obi-Wan

When a character, usually a mentor of some sort, in a movie, novel, comic book, or TV show dies and then comes back as a ghost to continue adding to the story, the same way Obi-Wan did in Star Wars IV.

Just about every Stephen King story has someone pulling an Obi-Wan. Nobody ever stays dead for good. Japanese RPGs too.

by kevnar January 22, 2009

Keep the change

Receiving sexual favours as a surprise reward for some assistance you've given to someone.

"I helped Cheryl move last weekend, and after it was done, wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am, and keep the change, baby!"

by kevnar June 28, 2006