joseph blough's definitions

transverse digestion

An unfortunate birth defect whereby one’s digestive tract is reversed, causing one to eat with their ass and crap out of their mouth. The ass must be trained to chew food in the same manner as teeth. A serious side effect of transverse digestion is halitosis.

Derek: “Hey Mike, how come you never eat with us?”
Mike: “I didn’t want you to watch me eat with my transverse digestion condition.”
Derek: “So THAT’S why your breath stinks like shit!”

by joseph blough April 8, 2022

Dubble Blubble

Bubble gum for your ass. Bubbles can be blown by sticking the gum up your ass and slowly farting, being careful not to let one rip too strongly. Popped dubble bubbles can be both sweet and smelly, with emphasis on the smelly.

Ernie purchased a Dubble Blubble at the candy store. He went out back and shoved it far up his anus and squished it around. Then he slowly flatulated, causing a brown and pink bubble to expand out of his asshole. When the blubble popped, it smelled like a weird combination of sugar and shit.

by joseph blough December 3, 2024

Feces Florentine

When you place ten pieces of shit upright in a circle to look like the bones in a Steak Florentine.

Guido the gourmet chef at Cafe Tuscany ran out of steak, so he improvised with a Feces Florentine.

by joseph blough January 2, 2025

gasasstic flatulence

A fart that is so explosive and smelly that it literally shakes the foundation of a building.

“Man, Joe just blew gasasstic flatulence so power and loud that the entire floor moved. No air freshener could remove the stench.”

by joseph blough March 25, 2022

doodiephiliac

A person who never has a solid stool and always has diarrhea. And I mean all the time.

Dave: Why are you always spending your time on the toilet?

Steve: I have no choice. I’m cursed for all of eternity as a doodiephiliac.

by joseph blough March 12, 2022

gorpuscle

A bubble that comes out of your ass when you fart, which is not quite a shart but enough to give you the uncomfortable feeling of something wet in your ass. Gorpuscles can range from small and marginally moist to large, underwear-staining ass drip.

Paulie had to fart, but ended up blowing a rather large gorpuscle out of his butt. He made a beeline to the bathroom to wipe his ass.

by joseph blough October 26, 2022

rhinoceros ass

An odor so foul and disgusting it can cause one to vomit violently and destroy a city block.

Larry walked into the primate house at the zoo and exclaimed “it smells like rhinoceros ass in here!” He headed for the nearest garbage can where he proceeded to puke his guts out.

by joseph blough January 12, 2025