joseph blough's definitions

greenarrhia

green diarrhea, resulting from excessive overeating of asparagus and other cooked green vegetables

Adam became a vegetarian and ate too many green vegetables last night. This morning he had a bad case of greenarrhia.

by joseph blough April 27, 2014

The Xactletes

A condition where your face looks exactly like your ass

Man, that guy is butt ugly. He has a case of the Xactletes!

by joseph blough December 25, 2019

Ossweepay

An alternative pronunciation of “asswipe”. Taken from an old SNL sketch with Nicolas Cage, where a soon-to-be father is struggling to find a name for his newborn son, worrying that any name would be made fun of by his son’s peers. It is later revealed by a telegram delivery man at the door that the father’s name is “Asswipe Johnson”. Mr. Johnson promptly corrects him saying “that’s OSSWEEPAY!!!”

Knock at the door: “Telegram for Mr. & Mrs. Asswipe Johnson!”

Asswipe Johnson: “That’s Ossweepay!”

by joseph blough February 3, 2023

Rectal adventure

An act of climbing into the ass of a large person or animal, crawling through their digestive tract and eventually making their way out of the mouth.

Johnny started his rectal adventure when he inserted his head into the elephant’s butt and proceeded to crawl through a system of shit and acid until he was regurgitated out of the elephant’s mouth.

by joseph blough October 8, 2023

ASSdfghjkl

When someone sits on a computer keyboard and takes a shit on it.

Ryan decided to play a sick joke on Sal by crapping all over his open laptop. Sal saw what Ryan did and said “thanks for the ASSdfghjkl! Now clean it up and get the fuck out of here!”

by joseph blough December 31, 2022

Gastric Bypass

1) a bariatric surgery performed for rapid weight loss on severely obese people.

2) A bariatric surgical mishap where the surgeon mistakenly connects your esophagus to your ass and you end up shitting and farting out of your mouth.

Steve had gastric bypass surgery last year. He’s lost 200 pounds and looks great, except for the fact that he now has to stick his head in the toilet to poop.

by joseph blough July 6, 2023

gorpuscle

A bubble that comes out of your ass when you fart, which is not quite a shart but enough to give you the uncomfortable feeling of something wet in your ass. Gorpuscles can range from small and marginally moist to large, underwear-staining ass drip.

Paulie had to fart, but ended up blowing a rather large gorpuscle out of his butt. He made a beeline to the bathroom to wipe his ass.

by joseph blough October 26, 2022