7 definition by jokerman15

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Narrator of and main character in the multi-media universe of Haruhi Suzumiya. He peppers each episode, volume, etc. with sarcasm and a distinct propulsion to disagree with Haruhi's hair-brained schemes. Despite hating the SOS Brigade at first, he has, over the course of the series, come to enjoy the company of the other members (Haruhi, Yuki, Mikuru, and Itsuki). But, in short, Kyon is hardcore awesome and Haruhi's perfect foil.
"{Kyon} Help me!!" - Mikuru

"Kyon, go pick up the heater!" - Haruhi

"*nods* {Kyon}" - Yuki

"Kyon, it's our responsibility to appease Ms. Suzumiya, else she will create closed space subconsciously...I'm counting on you!" - Itsuki
by jokerman15 December 30, 2011

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"The most beautiful, cute, cuddly, sexy, courageous, badass, smart, funny, exciting, super-duper, special, unique person around. InsertAnyFirstName has sex like a psychopathic, horny chimpanzee high on ecstasy, but is also there for you when you are dying inside and just need someone to hug." Basically, the best person ever whose name you add to urbandictionary because you're so fond of them.

But don't be fooled, this really isn't a valid system for voicing admiration because for every single first name you can think of, there is a description on urbandictionary saying that that particular individual is the best. While InsertAnyFirstName supposedly holds every possible good quality a person can possess, it doesn't really matter because the majority of people reading the description of InsertAnyFirstName don't give a shit at all. Since everybody who has a first name has a description on urbandictionary, that obviously means that there is a flagrant amount of insincerity going on and that most people disagree over who really is the "best." Moreover, said descriptions are often strewn with the most atrocious grammatical mistakes ever to occur in humanity's history, thus making the comments even more stupid to those reading them:
Girl: Bordinakonquo is the most amaaaazing guy evar!!!! He is a gigntic freake in bed and is always their wen u need sumone to litsen!!!!! All hsi broz bow to him wen he wlks in th rooom. And most of al, he's th mostt loveable man aliev!!!

Other Girl: Really? That sounds exactly like the description I saw the other day for InsertAnyFirstName!...*compares names* It is the same!! You're an insincere, stupid bitch!
by jokerman15 October 21, 2011

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Silence, awesome member of the SOS Brigade, headed by Haruhi Suzumiya. She is extremely quiet and a bibliophile at first glance; but, in reality, she is an alien sent to monitor Haruhi Suzumiya. Her primary duty is to prevent Haruhi from destroying the world subconsciously. Thus, Yuki uses her alien pseudo-magic to appease Haruhi's every whim, often to the vexation of Kyon, the narrator.
Yuki Nagato almost died protecting Kyon
by jokerman15 December 30, 2011

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Member of Haruhi Suzumiya's SOS Brigade. He has a polite disposition, but is, in fact, an esper who is charged with supervising Haruhi and preventing her wishes from getting too out of hand. He informs Kyon of the phenomenon known as closed space. Additionally, Itsuki notifies Kyon most often of the dangers that Haruhi is capable of.
Itsuki Koizumi: "Kyon, Ms. Suzumiya is rather charming, isn't she?"

Kyon: "..."
by jokerman15 December 30, 2011

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Big crack in the ocean, deepest part of earth, alternative rock band, sounds cool, etc.
bob: marianas trench

juan: marianas trench
by jokerman15 July 02, 2011

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Sucks Bowser's weiner on Super Smash Brothers brawl, takes carrot dildos up the butt from beach, and is a gay rabbit overall.
Allen the Brawl-Fag uses Olimar and sodomizes himself with Picmen.
by jokerman15 December 30, 2011

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Kid from Albuquerque who enjoyed licking boners.
Allen, no, please do not slobber on my winky.

-Allen the Cocksucker
by jokerman15 December 30, 2011

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