8 definitions by jimbles

Akin to Murphy's Law

Cole's Law:

If one is feeling "raw," the set of rules that one is an unwilling adherent to; whereby everyone and everything that could irritate the living tits out of one turns up in the course of one's day.

Insult to Injury in a wholemeal pun.
A. Oh Christ! On a day like today I have to deal with my taxes?

B. Cole's Law, mate.
by jimbles August 8, 2009
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A cheap bra worn by horrifically overweight women in America. The sheer, elephantine mass of their saturated mammories has over-powered the 5 cents worth of Taiwanese twine pretending to be underwire and their hee-yuge boobs have come to rest together at the lowest point of gravity, creating a monoboob.

It looks like a pair of massively overweight and unshapely arms have been folded across the chest. Terrifyingly, these same women seem to adopt this position over the top of their already shudder-inducing globes.

There is a way to fix this problem, however. Take a large cardboard box, such as you might receive a new fridge-freezer in, cut a circular hole in the bottom and then another two circles on opposing sides. Place box over tit hammock owner.

Despite not correcting the fault of the $3.99 Kmart bra that was struggling for its life, it does mean that the rest of us don't have to look at it.

"Jesus-fucking-Christ, mate! Don't look left, there's a heffer wearing a tit hammock".
by jimbles November 7, 2005
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Fruit or vegetables purchased in an attempt to make your lifestyle more healthy than it is. Inevitably bought by men to decorate their fridges and counter tops before the arrival of a potential date.
"I've finally figured out what the viscous goo at the bottom of my fridge is. It's run off from the decomposing pledgetables I had in the salad drawer to impress Kim."
by jimbles March 16, 2008
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A portmanteau word to decribe preemptively empthazing with someone, rather than empathizing after the fact, as per the norm.
A. Urgh! I have to go back to school next week.

B. We already started. I totally preempathize.
by jimbles August 29, 2008
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n. A temporary disruption of bodily rhythms caused by visiting a large city for a night out.
Q. Went down to Manhattan for the Muse gig at the Garden.
T. Have a good time?
Q. Yeah, it was awesome, but when I got back to Poughkeepsie I had metlag until Sunday.
by jimbles May 4, 2010
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One who uses "LOL" with such frequency it implies a total disconnection with the conversation and, thusly, reality.

From a portmanteau of "dullard" and "LOL."
A: If I weren't convinced it would go over your head, I'd refer to you as a Lollard (which is also a punning reference to the followers of the 13th century religious reformer John Wycliffe) to label your behaviour.


A: ...but instead I'll point out that you're a giggling fucktard.


A: Sigh...
by jimbles March 24, 2011
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A term to describe an activity undertaken with naive, pensive enthusiasm, only to have it blow up in your face as everyone knew it would.

From the Muppet, "Beaker", faithful, flammable assistant to Dr. Bunsen Honeydew.
A. The Bush administration's handling of the American economy has been shit-screaming clusterfuck.
B. Indeed, Professor. One might almost describe it as fiscally Beakerian.
by jimbles July 21, 2008
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