jebadiah's definitions

Bitch Please

The phrase said to a bitch/hoe right before u tap dat ass.

Bitch please, get on yo handz and knees... take that shit!

by Jebadiah September 27, 2003

Haunted anus

Something that is unspeakably odious and objectionable, doubly terrible.

"Oh crumbs, did you see his presentation? It was a haunted anus from start to finish

by Jebadiah April 4, 2020

Kiss the mad weasel

Something you have no inclination or reason to do.

"No Kenneth. It's absolutely your problem to fix. You've got to do it. I'm not going to kiss the mad weasel for you this time".

by Jebadiah April 4, 2020

Jazzbang

To fumble and improvise wildly during sex, suggesting and trying manoeuvres and acts far beyond the bounds of 'normal play'. An overlong and fiddley fuck.

"It was awful. A total fucking jazzbang. He took so long just fiddling and fussing".

by Jebadiah April 4, 2020

Crotchnosed

An awkward, uncomfortable thing that someone just won't let go. A persistent and unwlecome intrusion into one's business, like a dog who won't stop trying to sniff your crotch in public.

"Iffy won't stop dribbling on about the restaurant bill contretemp. I feel utterly crotchnosed by the whole thing".

by Jebadiah April 4, 2020

smacker in the crapper

To ejaculate into a toilet

If he's not giving birth to a bum-baby in there then it's a case of "smacker in the crapper".

by Jebadiah June 19, 2004

Uncle Car Curtains

Someone who is not to be trusted, potentially dangerous.

"Stay the bollocks away from him, darling. He's well 'Uncle Car Curtains'".

by Jebadiah April 4, 2020