jake's definitions

whore pile

a whole wack of work.
see also ass load, shitload, and bum load

I gotta whole whore pile of work to do this week.

by Jake February 1, 2004

magic wand

the Hitachi Magic Wand is a clitoral stimulation vibrator that plugs in (no batteries, good for the environment, and you won't run out of power at the critical moment !)Mentioned on "Sex in the City" and known as "The Cadillac of Vibrators", this is perhaps the world's most popular vibrator.Its strong vibration makes it an unfailing friend in masturbation, and its symmetrical shape makes it a natural for partnered, face-to-face fun.For women who are looking for their first orgasm, the electric vibrations will awaken a slumbering clitoris very effectively. The Wand provides strong, steady stimulation.It's a must for postmenopausal women who are beginning to lose interest in sex.Two speeds, spongy head (about the size of a tennis ball)
Size: 12" long, the head is 2 1/2" in diameter.

After a 12-hr shift she liked to crawl into a warm bed with her magic wand resting on her snatch.

by Jake February 26, 2004

toppin' some g's

makin the $$$ aka: working

me: yo whats up?
you: i just be toppin some g's.

by jake August 18, 2004

jake

a douche bag that makes joke at everyone elses expense just so he can try to get with a girl that will never go out with him. usually smells like shit, though on occasion actaully showers with soap. but he will have you back if it dosent harm him in any way becasue hes a self preserving asshole

girl 1: hey jake just asked me out
girl 2: what are you gonna say
girl 1: no of course

by Jake January 17, 2020

whang

(noun) penis

(verb) male masturbation

See also wang.

I've had a long, hard day at the office; I'm going home to have a coupla shots of scotch , crawl into a warm bed, lube up and whang my whang.

by Jake March 24, 2004

ky warming

a variation on the original and best sexual lubricant on the planet; ky warming feels warm to the touch as soon as you spread it on human skin

my favourite intimate lubricant is ky warming; it turns warm on contact, and I can just "glide til I cried"

by Jake January 20, 2004

stag and doe

a wedding shower that includes men and both sides of the wedding couple, not just the bride; see jack and jill or jack & jill

My wife and I went to a stag and doe last Saturday for Greg and Julie who are getting married next month.

by Jake January 29, 2004