biTEXTual

The ability to text, rapidly and accurately, on both the QWERTY key pad and the 9-key pad, with no practice time in between.

I had to send my Blackberry in to get fixed, but I'm still texting just fine with my Razr. Being biTEXTual is a good thing comfort zone.

SLUTonic plague

a massive outbreak of a sexually transmitted infections or diseases in one area.

Having that girl Staples in town brought about a slutonic plague.

The ability to text using both hands at the same time or either individually.

Person one: Hey man, aren't you right handed?
Person two: Yea. Why?
1: You're texting with your left hand.
2: Man, I'm ambiTEXTrious.

Person one: Dude! Your interupting!
Person two: Interupting what?
1: my sex-degating process.
2: ahhh. geeez. TMI