h.t.j's definitions

homortified

From Chuck Lorre Vanity Card #130
The uncomfortable feeling straight men have when they're watching porn and are momentarily turned on by the wrong ass.

Bert was so homortified by the skin flick he was forced to use his imagination.

by H.T.J April 7, 2005

officiate

- To perform the duties and functions of an office or a position of authority.
- To serve as an officiant.
- Sports. To serve as a referee or umpire.

A man got sick because of a-fish-he-ate.

by H.T.J March 26, 2005

yo gee

Originally from internationally renowned homosexual "Gareth Sutton"'s popular expression "Yo Dee". It was used in the albeit derogatory context of attracting the attention of passing australians; but now, a bastardization has emerged in the form of "Yo Gee".

Guy: YO GEE!!!!!!!!!!!
Gee: MOOVVEEEMEEENNTT!! AAARGRGHH!! YO DEE!

by H.T.J April 4, 2005

addadictomy

Used when a transexual woman opts to have the surgery and become a fully-fledge ifemminate man-beast. Pronounced (add-a-dick-to-me, for the fools who didn't get it right away)

Guy: Sam, what's wrong?
Sam: Well, i'm just getting over a sisterectumy and they rescheduled my addadictomy for tomorrow.
Guy: aaww, what a flaccid penis.

by H.T.J April 11, 2005

doorgasm

-From Chuck Lorre Vainty Card #130
The feeling of relief and pleasure when the person you had casual sex with finally goes home.

I feigned a bittersweet smile as she walked out of the bedroom, then was rocked by a powerful doorgasm the second I heard her car start.

by H.T.J April 7, 2005

Cheese it

-to hastily depart
-from the verb "to cheese" upon something

Harry Jenkins: IT'S THE FILTH! FUCKING CHEESE IT!

by H.T.J September 30, 2004

mum

a word which dickhead americans can't spell, and claim we spell wrong - despite the fact that WE invented the language, and the idiots WE sent to america couldn't spell.

British Guy: Hey mum, I'm home.
American Tit: Hey mom I'm gay!

by H.T.J March 3, 2005