Definitions by gnostic1
shovel monkey
n. Originally a person employed to dig small holes or move gravel from place to place but now used in an unflattering manner to describe office or retail workers on low rungs.
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If there's too many boxes to unpack just get a couple of shovel monkeys to help.
Really? Wow! I thought I was a shovel monkey.
You are, but today you can have some lesser shovel monkeys to boss around. No flicking feces at them though.
Really? Wow! I thought I was a shovel monkey.
You are, but today you can have some lesser shovel monkeys to boss around. No flicking feces at them though.
shovel monkey by gnostic1 September 16, 2011
canadian stoner
n. An "athlete" who participates in "curling" which, while not technically a sport, is a pasttime favoured by Canadians who have not discovered video games.
Heavy stones are flung randomly down an oblong blanket of ice and across a "tea" line. The game is a mix of marbles and cricket with the winner sometimes being decided in a draw.
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Heavy stones are flung randomly down an oblong blanket of ice and across a "tea" line. The game is a mix of marbles and cricket with the winner sometimes being decided in a draw.
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Hey Hoser! You are such a canadian stoner! Your inturned house-weight marble nudged my sweeper-stick and now I'm lying two.
I'm not lying. Why are you lying?
No. I said I was lying two. Not too.
I'm not lying. Why are you lying?
No. I said I was lying two. Not too.
canadian stoner by gnostic1 September 13, 2011
bonspiel
n. "sporting" activity in which marginally inebriated Canadians curl large lumps of granite down a frozen carpet of ice in order to obtain a "hammer" which, I believe, is the metric equivalent of a "fifth" of rye. Oddly enough a "fifth", in curling, is a player too incompetent to play well. Brooms are used to clear debris off the ice and roller blades can be worn for decreased traction but aren't compulsory.
Originally the game was played on Scotland's lakes by English soldiers with frozen lumps of haggis.
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Originally the game was played on Scotland's lakes by English soldiers with frozen lumps of haggis.
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Dude! I feel like a bonspiel tonight! Let's totally whip some stones into the hack and try to knock out some inturns with a double raise!
Listen to yourself. You've only been curling for a month and already you sound like a Canadian stoner.
Hurry hard!
Listen to yourself. You've only been curling for a month and already you sound like a Canadian stoner.
Hurry hard!
social thinker
n. Person who doesn't think to excess; someone who isn't dim but who can't be bothered to cogitate in school.
The square root of 64? Are you kidding me? I am totally just a social thinker.
I studied hard all last semester and nearly lost all my friends. But, with the help of some total slackers, I managed to turn my life around and now I'm just a social thinker.
I studied hard all last semester and nearly lost all my friends. But, with the help of some total slackers, I managed to turn my life around and now I'm just a social thinker.
social thinker by gnostic1 September 10, 2011
Cremona
place. Slightly weathered settlement devoid of any big-hamlet pretensions situated in the bouldering belt of Alberta. Locally famous for its Parrot Parade each September and the Alberta Sheep Wranglers Hall of Fame, Cremona seeks to embrace a greater degree of ethnic diversity and has recently twinned with Biggar, Saskatchewan.
Initially settled by Blackfeet indians who were victims of what has been called the European Extinction, Cremona is currently a hotpot of cultural diversity with no tinges of rabid monotheism.
Stone-boat constructionists, root-excavaters, and gravel percolation technicians mingle freely with the artists, artisans and articled accountants of Cremona at the many tables in the cafe.
Ice-hockey amuses the population as does curling, which seems to involve bowling large pieces of granite down a long, frozen, gravel-studded blanket.
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Initially settled by Blackfeet indians who were victims of what has been called the European Extinction, Cremona is currently a hotpot of cultural diversity with no tinges of rabid monotheism.
Stone-boat constructionists, root-excavaters, and gravel percolation technicians mingle freely with the artists, artisans and articled accountants of Cremona at the many tables in the cafe.
Ice-hockey amuses the population as does curling, which seems to involve bowling large pieces of granite down a long, frozen, gravel-studded blanket.
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Care to visit Cremona this week to get your bogey on and watch a curling rodeo?
Do I! Let me get my binoculars and a can of diet-coke!
Oh I think they have diet-coke in Cremona now!
Do I! Let me get my binoculars and a can of diet-coke!
Oh I think they have diet-coke in Cremona now!
football seasoning
n. A certain uniquely attractive flavor that football adds to the autumn.
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Man, the atmosphere around here is dead gruesome. The world is bland ... bland I tell you!
Wait until next week. That is when the football seasoning is going to spice up your life.
Wait until next week. That is when the football seasoning is going to spice up your life.
football seasoning by gnostic1 September 8, 2011