bouquet of penises

A contemptable situation. Any despised turn of events. The phrase is used in a sarcastic tone and is intended as a portrayal of one's disgust for a given situation.

The vacation sucked. The RV broke down, the dog shit in the tent twice, the weather was hot, then rainy, and we were out of beer. Man, that trip was about as fun as a bouquet of penises.

by Frank Klaune November 23, 2004

K-Mart Liturgy

You get up on a Sunday morning, take a shower, dress, then head out of the house. Your family is very sure that you are a good boy, heading out to go to church. Instead of attending church services, however, you go to K-Mart and spend just the appropriate amount of time there browsing merchandise so upon your return, your ruse is very convincing.

Frank's parents think he is such a good boy but we know the truth. He did a K-Mart Liturgy and bought condoms.

by Frank Klaune January 24, 2005

fuck her headlights out

Term used to describe vigorous sex with a some hot bitch. Usually used in a hypothetical situation- bar talk.

Frank was all boozed up when he gestured to that bitch in the corner and said to me, "hey... how would you like to fuck her headlights out." Frank is such a moron.

by Frank Klaune June 24, 2006

funnel cake

To use your dong as the \"funnel\", your baby gravy as the \"cake batter\" and some hot chick\'s stomach area (near her belly button) as the frier. If you\'ve ever watched or made a funnel cake, it is now abundantly clear.

Damn! Frank was so worried about knocking up his girlfriend he pulled out and made a funnel cake!

by Frank Klaune April 26, 2005

furp

The loud sound generated by the rapid oscillation of the anal sphincter which is a direct result of the expulsion of a considerable volume of intestinal gas at great force which causes an overwhelming aroma of nauseating proportion.

"Grotee let a furp go and, man, you could feel the ground shake, and afterward, damn, I almost vomited."

by Frank Klaune November 22, 2003

silly swords

Common game for young males, "silly swords" involves using two (or more) competing streams of urine as if they were swords in a sword fight. Unlike a pissfight or pissing contest, urinating on the competition is never allowed. The urine stream is only used against the other person's stream, just like a sword fight.

Jimmy and Frank were in the back yard playing silly swords.

by Frank Klaune March 06, 2004

clown shit

n. Worthless junk. Something which is broken, cheap or substandard can be said to be "clown shit."

Damn, Frank is sure a Chevy guy. To him, all Fords are clown shit.

by Frank Klaune April 16, 2005