frank klaune's definitions

clown shit

n. Worthless junk. Something which is broken, cheap or substandard can be said to be "clown shit."

Damn, Frank is sure a Chevy guy. To him, all Fords are clown shit.

by Frank Klaune April 16, 2005

pissalorium

Humourous term for the restroom (or "WC" in Europe). It gives the user an air of vain intelligence and sophistication to apparently use a Latin term when, in reality, the user is probably too stupid to even know Pig Latin. See also "Leakatorium" and "poopalorium"

Damn, that quart of beer went right through me. Gentlemen, please excuse me. Frank, where's your pissalorium?

by Frank Klaune January 26, 2005

Shithouse Poet

Widely-acclaimed anonymous author of infamous wit and wisdom written on the stalls and walls of many bathrooms. The "Shithouse Poet" is believed to actually be a number of different individuals acting in nearly every state of the United States. Much to the chagrin of janitors, the Shithouse Poet leaves his nuggets (pardon the pun) of wit and wisdom in the form of well-crafted prose and poetry through various means in batrhooms throughout the U.S.A.

Some examples:

"They scrub these walls to stop my pen,
but the Shithouse Poet strikes again.
The erased words are all my life.
I'll next engrave them with my knife."

And...

"Here I sat all broken hearted.
Tried to shat, but only farted.
So today I took a chance.
Now I say I shit my pants.
Tomorrow I decide my fate.
I'll borrow a quart of Kaopectate."

by Frank Klaune January 22, 2005

meat tenderizer

Slang term describing a police officer's baton. The term is best appreciated when the baton is furiously applied on the head of some stupid bastard who desperately deserves it.

We loved it when the dude who ran over the little kid resisted arrest, because it gave the police a good opportunity to use the meat tenderizer.

by Frank Klaune May 1, 2005

squibbler

One of a number of terms pertaining to the classification of various kinds of farts. A squibbler indicates the rather anemic sound of a small amount of intestinal gas released in a rather tentative, timid manner resulting in a high-pitched, warbling, somewhat bubbly sound of relatively short duration.

"Frank just let a squibbler, but damn, did it stink!"

by Frank Klaune November 8, 2003

shit and shove it

Humourous phrase relating to an exasperating incident. Shortly after 11 a.m. on a sultry August afternoon, Winky was riding in the back seat of the limosine as it cruised down the highway. He suggested to his driver, "It's almost noon. Find a place to stop for lunch." The driver drove on, eyeing the countryside with no rest area to be found. About 11:45, Winky said, "Okay now, find a roadside stop for lunch" and the driver continued to search as he drove on. Around 12:45, Winky now exasperatedly said, "Stop at the nearest stop. We WILL have lunch." The poor driver still didn't see a roadside stop, so when they drove through a small town, Winky excoriated his driver mercilessly saying, "I told you already to find a place to stop for lunch, damnit." The hapless driver shot back, "I've been looking and looking but honest... there hasn't been any rest areas!' At this, Winky angrily ordered the driver to pull into the little city square they were approaching. There, at theat unlikely location they all had a very late lunch. They then loaded the cooler back into the limosine and proceeded out of the little Nowheres-Ville in which they had their impromptu lunch. About a mile out of the town, they finally happened upon a roadside stop. After hours of hapless travelling without respite, the poor driver announced to Winky, "Hey, there's a roadside stop." Upon seeing the sign on the side of the road, Winky shot back, "OH SHIT AND SHOVE IT!"

Frank first had a check engine light. Then he got a brake light. Then an alternator light and an oli light. When the seat belt light went on, he got out, put a brick on the gas pedal, reached through the window and dropped the lever into "Drive". As the car squealed off the cliff, he yelled after it, "SHIT AND SHOVE IT".

by Frank Klaune April 17, 2005

dickstick

In nominal terms, a dickstick is another term for a dildo. By extrapolation, "dickstick" is a Tomism (see Tomism) and used as a mild insult to one's intelligence. Useable as a substitute for "dipshit", "dickstick" usually indicates one's displeasure of another person's actions.

P1: "Hey, Tom look. Frank just took the last piece of pizza."

T: "Oh, that dickstick! I didn't even get to eat any!"

by Frank Klaune March 15, 2004