The second smallest category in the scientific measurement of farts. Usually involuntarily released, the lett ranks between the SBD and a squibbler.
by Frank Klaune March 06, 2004
A small-town, provincial putz of a policeman. The name represents "Barney Fife", the bumbling, inept deputy sherfiff from the "Andy Griffith Show." The typical small-town Barney is a doughnut-chomping fat bastard whose only purpose is to write as many speeding tickets and seat belt "safety" violations to out-of-town licence plated cars as humanly possible. This daily pattern continues until the barney has padded his resume sufficiently to move on to a real job far from the provincial putzville which was his first job for a couple of years. The outrageous pattern of excessive ticket-writing also works in the favor of the inbred, corrupt, fuck-headed town officials who reap an obscene profit from the fine largesse. This, in turn, self justifies the continuance of the salary for the Barney. This pattern is particularly effective in towns which are so ridiculously quiet and small that an actual "law enforcement officer" has no substantive reason to be on the public payroll. The next time you are pulled over in some backward Hooterville for driving 4 MPH over the posted limit, remember where your fine money is going.
by Frank Klaune April 25, 2005
Humorous euphemism used to explain the (how shall we say this nicely...) ritualistic non-surgical dislocation of the head from the torso. It's becoming a useful term when attempting to relate to the antics of certain deranged individuals in the mideast who are mired in 9th century mentality.
(person 1)"Did you hear about those hostages in Iraq? Can you believe they..."
(person 2 interrupts) "..yeah I heard... they got the islamic Haircut."
(person 1 shaking head in disbelief)"I thought that was the great peaceful religion...."
(person 2 interrupts) "..yeah I heard... they got the islamic Haircut."
(person 1 shaking head in disbelief)"I thought that was the great peaceful religion...."
by Frank Klaune July 08, 2006
An oxymoron. Very simply stated.
by Frank Klaune August 08, 2005
Damn, Frank drank the rest of that fifth of Jim Beam. By the end of the afternoon, he was super glued!
by Frank Klaune April 23, 2005
1) A contemptible person of low intelligence.
2) A term of endearment for a person who has just done you wrong.
3) Relating a contemptible person to a sexual device in such a way as to equate such low intelligence with an inanimate object of gratification (i.e. a head with no brains).
2) A term of endearment for a person who has just done you wrong.
3) Relating a contemptible person to a sexual device in such a way as to equate such low intelligence with an inanimate object of gratification (i.e. a head with no brains).
by Frank Klaune November 06, 2003
by Frank Klaune March 30, 2005