serendipity

Something pleasant or useful found while looking for something else. Inspired by a Persian fairy story, "The Three Princes of Serendip".

I initially wanted to date Moira, but she turned out to be an awful bore and she snorted when she laughed, which I can't stand. She did however get me in touch with a car dealer who makes really cool custom cars, top quality and dirt cheap, three of which I bought within a year. That was a real piece of serendipity.

by Fearman April 09, 2008

boarding school rations

Tiny helpings of food, or revolting quality food. Self-explanatory.

The plaice was three inches long and had a maggot in it. Why are we reduced to these boarding school rations?

by Fearman August 07, 2007

affluent

1. Wealthy.

2. Drunk, as in under the affluence of inkahol. (Meaning the influence of alcohol, as might be mispronounced when inebriated.) Also associated with the other meaning because either condition (ought to) make your troubles float away.

Give him five shots of whiskey and he's affluent.

by Fearman August 07, 2007

sharp and pearlies

Teeth. Patterned after "short and curlies" for pubes.

America is the world's number one denturocracy, where if you are even halfway serious you've got to have two perfect rows of sharp and pearlies.

by Fearman October 30, 2007

chocolate

Chocolate is one of the fifteen main reasons to be reincarnated. The others are unimportant.

Come back for the chocolate. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ...,

by Fearman February 25, 2008

Cholmondelling

Pronounced "chum-ling". Inventing detailed rules of etiquette out of whole cloth in an attempt to help people put on airs, or to put them on oneself. From a 1980s magazine advert purporting to show how best to consume certain fashionable wafery mints. A sad waste of what often could have been a brilliant imagination. May be intended satirically, although never of course taken that way by devoted etiquette freaks.

She's busy cholmondelling for her next book, a wedding guide.

by Fearman March 04, 2008

Pudenda

Technical term for female genitalia. Comes from a Latin expression meaning "shameful parts". On that count alone it should be struck from the language.

Don't call them pudenda no more.

by Fearman December 17, 2007