fearman's definitions

sometimes you eat the bear

Sometimes you eat the bear ... and sometimes the bear eats you. Expression describing the bipolar nature of life, the universe and everything, popularised among other places in the movie The Big Lebowski and fifty percent proven, at any rate, by the life of Timothy Treadwell.

Well, dude, sometimes you eat the bear, sometimes the bear eats you. But why d'ya have to use so many cuss words along they way?

by Fearman April 1, 2008

christian

Either Slater or Bale are cool by me.

Christian Bale and Christian Slater. Two waaaaay cool actors.

by Fearman September 26, 2007

iimssm

Enjoyably adolescent and slightly narcissistic abbreviation for "if I may say so myself".

I'm Jockster and I'm the coolest pimp daddy on the planet, iimssm.

by Fearman April 1, 2008

quoking

Vaginal smoking, as demonstrated on at least one Internet video sequence with that gorgeous woman who says "and you don't cough, and it doesn't get your teeth yellow!" If you possess a vagina you stick the cool end of the lit cigar or cigarette in and use rhythmic contractions of the vaginal or perineal muscles to suck in and expel air. Try not to burn your pubes. To anyone halfway intelligent, whatever sex appeal there may be in the practice is entirely a matter of the organ used. Not recommended if you have a non-smoking partner who fancies going down on you. Probably not much healthier than the more familiar method. A contraction of "quim" and "smoking". Verb, to quoke.

Quoking looks interesting if you have a high gross-out threshold, no interest in the quoker's health, and it still has novelty value. Otherwise, forget about it.

by Fearman February 1, 2008

denturocracy

Political system in which the person with the straightest whitest smile gets to run the country.

America is the world's premier denturocracy.

by Fearman October 30, 2007

Uranus

1. Third largest planet in the solar system by diameter and least massive of the gas giants. Discovered by Sir William Herschel in 1781. A naked eye object in good conditions if you know where and what to look for. Higher proportions of water ice, methane and ammonia in the atmospheres of Uranus and Neptune have led astronomers to class these worlds in a separate category known as the ice giants. Knocked on its side by an early impact to its current 98-degree axial tilt, Uranus rolls almost like a ball along its orbit, with first one hemisphere and then the other experiencing daylight. Uranus is known for a system of dark rings of carbonaceous material. Orbits the sun at 1.787 billion miles mean distance, or approaching twenty times Earth's distance, from the Sun. Wins the booby prize for the least photogenic planet in the system, appearing a more or less featureless cyan globe, though this may change at the equinoxes every 42 Earth years. Visited by Voyager 2 in 1986. At last count, 27 moons.

2. Romanised form of the Greek god's name Ouranos, god of the heavens.

3. No scatological jokes, please.

If you know what part of the night sky to look at, you can see the planet Uranus if you squint.

Uranus, god of the heavens.

by Fearman May 12, 2008

jenga

Game played using wooden blocks three times as long as they are wide. The blocks are stacked in a square tower with three side by side in each floor, aligned at right angles to those above and below. The players take it in turns to remove one block per turn from the tower. The loser is the one who makes the tower topple.

I love playing jenga. Especially the satisfying crash when it all comes down.

by Fearman April 11, 2008