fearman's definitions

very interesting but stupid

Comment that often deserves to be made of much of the quackery filling our global culture. Pioneered by Arte Johnson as Wolfgang the Nazi Soldier in the comedy series "Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In" from 1968 to 1973; Wolfgang would raise his head above a parapet after some preceding act, take a cigar out of his mouth, deliver the line and grin ear to ear. Best delivered in the original thick German accent, with a pause for effect midway through.

Hmm ... astral vibrations read for ninety bucks a minute. Very interesting but stupid.

by Fearman April 1, 2008

bicycle

Machine with two wheels, two pedals and a light built for a Christmas tree, used for turning calories into scar tissue.

Here's a bicycle with three gears: pedals-clanking, chain-free, chain-snarled-up.

by Fearman April 11, 2008

vajoina

Term used in Foxrock, Dublin, Eire, to describe the mid-section of the female reproductive tract.

Roysh, understand roysh, you just fook her up the vajoina, roysh?

by Fearman November 24, 2007

Reganophile

Someone with a truly liberated view of sexuality who staunchly refuses to fuck anyone who hasn't been the vehicle of Pazuzu at least once before they started dating.

I'm a Reganophile. Have you ever projectile vomited? Check. Spun your head through 360 degrees relative to your shoulders? Check. Ridden a bouncy bed and seen at least one stupid priest jump out a window and down a flight of 122 stone steps? Check? You must have looked cute as a kid and you're dashing now. Shall we go to the theatre or cut to the chase?

by Fearman March 11, 2008

Smurfspeak

Intellectually lazy speech in which a single all-purpose noun or verb is frequently substituted for something more specific, the term for which the speaker can't be bothered to remember. From the dialogue between the title characters in the cartoon series "The Smurfs", in which the word "smurf" is frequently substituted for other words; the word substituted does not necessarily have to be "smurf".

Examples of Smurfspeak:

And then, Papa Smurf, I took her smurfy smurf by the smurf and smurfed her up the smurf.

The thing is in the other thing over by the thing, you know the thing I mean?

by Fearman April 18, 2008

long dark teatime of the soul

Spiritual and physical void found at the centre of the Sunday Weekly Galaxy in "So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish" by Douglas Adams. Used as the title of Adams's second Dirk Gently novel. At its worst in boarding school. Trust me.

Sorry, but between that crappy lunch and the next crappy dinner, I'm currently experiencing a long dark teatime of the soul.

by Fearman October 30, 2007

Art

1) When beauty, complexity, philosophy, genius and sensuality all have a gang bang together, this misbegotten but wondrous creation ensues.

2) What Jack Nicholson makes until someone dies.

3) Something that turns up in eXistenZ, when Willem Dafoe mentions a video games called ArtGod, as in "ThouArtGod".

Art. Who could ask for anything more?

by Fearman August 31, 2007