fearman's definitions

mime

Someone who, once arrested, has the right to remain silent.

As a mime artist, you have rights.

by Fearman December 16, 2007

Uranus

1. Third largest planet in the solar system by diameter and least massive of the gas giants. Discovered by Sir William Herschel in 1781. A naked eye object in good conditions if you know where and what to look for. Higher proportions of water ice, methane and ammonia in the atmospheres of Uranus and Neptune have led astronomers to class these worlds in a separate category known as the ice giants. Knocked on its side by an early impact to its current 98-degree axial tilt, Uranus rolls almost like a ball along its orbit, with first one hemisphere and then the other experiencing daylight. Uranus is known for a system of dark rings of carbonaceous material. Orbits the sun at 1.787 billion miles mean distance, or approaching twenty times Earth's distance, from the Sun. Wins the booby prize for the least photogenic planet in the system, appearing a more or less featureless cyan globe, though this may change at the equinoxes every 42 Earth years. Visited by Voyager 2 in 1986. At last count, 27 moons.

2. Romanised form of the Greek god's name Ouranos, god of the heavens.

3. No scatological jokes, please.

If you know what part of the night sky to look at, you can see the planet Uranus if you squint.

Uranus, god of the heavens.

by Fearman May 12, 2008

quoking

Vaginal smoking, as demonstrated on at least one Internet video sequence with that gorgeous woman who says "and you don't cough, and it doesn't get your teeth yellow!" If you possess a vagina you stick the cool end of the lit cigar or cigarette in and use rhythmic contractions of the vaginal or perineal muscles to suck in and expel air. Try not to burn your pubes. To anyone halfway intelligent, whatever sex appeal there may be in the practice is entirely a matter of the organ used. Not recommended if you have a non-smoking partner who fancies going down on you. Probably not much healthier than the more familiar method. A contraction of "quim" and "smoking". Verb, to quoke.

Quoking looks interesting if you have a high gross-out threshold, no interest in the quoker's health, and it still has novelty value. Otherwise, forget about it.

by Fearman February 1, 2008

denturocracy

Political system in which the person with the straightest whitest smile gets to run the country.

America is the world's premier denturocracy.

by Fearman October 30, 2007

christian

Either Slater or Bale are cool by me.

Christian Bale and Christian Slater. Two waaaaay cool actors.

by Fearman September 26, 2007

iimssm

Enjoyably adolescent and slightly narcissistic abbreviation for "if I may say so myself".

I'm Jockster and I'm the coolest pimp daddy on the planet, iimssm.

by Fearman April 1, 2008

batman

Invented by Bob Kane in 1940. Coolest superhero in American comic book history (the Incredible Hulk probably comes in a discreet second). Batman's real-life alter ego is billionaire philanthropist Bruce Wayne. When summoned to crime-ridden Gotham City by the Batsignal (a batlike silhouette within a searchlight beam, shining onto those perpetually dense clouds) he proceeds to de-scum the place like nobody else. Often has at least one delightfully camp side-kick, but generally works best alone.

Unforgettable scene from Tim Burton's 1988 movie ..,

(BATMAN dangles HOOD over side of 23-storey building)

Batman:
I'm not going to harm you. I want you to do something. I want you to tell all your friends who I am.

Hood (howling in fear):
WHO ARE YOU?!?

(Batman pulls the Hood in about an inch from his masked face.)

Batman:
I'm Batman.

(He throws the Hood down on the flat roof behind them. Long before the criminal has regained a fraction of his composure, Batman has disappeared into the shadows.)

by Fearman October 23, 2007