falsetokaiba's definitions

sHE'S brOKen

A quote shared on social media platforms mainly by young women reflecting on break-ups or infidelities by their male partners in which they are the victim whilst the male is callous and guiltless in their actions- thus, 'she's broken', whilst 'he's ok.' Alongside common Instagram soundbites such as 'LIVE LAUGH LOVE', 'sHE'S brOKen' has attained ironic meme status for its incredibly lowbrow wordplay, and is now more often quoted in jest on social media in mockery of the wannabe Instagram influencer types that would have used it seriously.

Basic AF Instagram Girl: "Wow, sHE'S brOKen, that's SO DEEP. I'll share it now so my other basic friends can ask 'u ok bbs? I'm here if u need to talk xxx' and I can reply 'thnx hun xx ly you know how it is, some people, ugh.'

by falsetokaiba May 5, 2019

Row Z

The theoretical furthest back row of seats in a football stadium, and thus, where a defender making a clearance is encouraged to aim for, to eliminate any immediate threat of the opposition scoring by sending the ball as far from their own goal as possible.

A good defender should know how to pass a ball, but more importantly, they should know when to kick it into Row Z.

by falsetokaiba April 22, 2019

Scummy Mummy

Aspires to be that kind of young, trendy, active mother on social media, but fails horrifically in all regards. Their regular posts, largely shared from other sources, include how all models are actually ugly without PhotoShop, prize competitions to win holidays to Ibiza, scare stories about people giving out Halloween candy that's secretly drugs and conspiracy theories about Madeleine McCann, as well as horror stories contributed by other Scummy Mummies of things to happen to their children, with captions such as 'If sum1 did that to my wee Beyonce I'd flippin rek them, hnnnnng.'

A typical scummy mummy will spend several hours a day applying make-up, before posting to Facebook that real men like real women and not fake ones like Kate Upton.

by falsetokaiba May 3, 2019

noodle hair Ronaldo

The incarnation of Portuguese footballer Cristiano Ronaldo in the mid-to-late 2010s, referring to the frosted tips hairstyle he was sporting at the time. It was a period of particular success for Ronaldo, winning the Ballon d'Or several times as well as successive Champions League titles with Real Madrid and the UEFA European Championships 2016 with Portugal.

When you saw noodle hair Ronaldo, you knew the game was over before it had even started.

by falsetokaiba February 12, 2022

The Spice Boys

The term given to the core of young British players that played for Liverpool FC in the 1990s. Coined mainly as a derogatory term, it mocked the players' underachievement in winning trophies compared to the team of the previous decade, seen as a byproduct of their laddish behaviour and laissez-faire attitude to the game, such as the occasion they paraded the pitch before the 1996 FA Cup Final in Armani cream suits, and subsequently lost to rivals Manchester United. Since then, the term has also become a general slang term for garishly metrosexual young men, though it has largely slipped out of the common vernacular with 'fuckboys' being a more common modern alterntive.

If The Spice Boys had spent less time snorting lines and shagging strippers and more time training they might have actually won a league title.

by falsetokaiba March 1, 2019

Go to horny jail

A phrase used in response to when someone is being excessively sexual on social media, particularly if it's in response to a post which has nothing to do with sex, or which really ought not to stir any sexual desire within anybody. The image that usually accompanies it is the meme dog Doge sternly hitting another dog on the head with a baseball bat.

"Hey look, I got bored in lockdown and did some concept art for this female character I think is cool."
"Damn bro she thicc"
"Dafuq bro, go to horny jail"

by falsetokaiba August 23, 2020

C-men

A pun on both the words semen and X-Men. With the Marvel superheroes group the X-Men being so named after the initial of Professor Charles Xavier (Professor X), it has been so joked that had he chosen the initial of his first name, they would have been entitled 'the C-men'

Good thing he didn't call them the C-men. Alexa might have played some very different movies then.

by falsetokaiba March 1, 2019