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ellsworthtoohey's definitions

Testifini

An old Italian legal maneuver, wherein a defendant licks the prosecutor, to establish remorse and to try and procure a lower sentence.
When Corvo was framed for the murder of the empress, he should have just invoked testifini, and things would have been easier for him.
by ellsworthtoohey December 11, 2017
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the helium whorehouse

Where I fill my air compressor/weather baloon with helium, while killing the beast with a ceremonial knife.
The helium whorehouse is all knowing and all seeing.
by ellsworthtoohey August 7, 2011
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Riding the Table Saw

The most glorious act in all of middle school shop class. The weakest one is tied to the table saw by the strongest one, the smartest one turns on the saw, and the coolest one cranks the handle, spilling the blood in a way that makes my membranes quiver. The shop teacher finds this and begins to stab the children with a tool so diabolical, it must not be spoken of by name, lest the machinist in the basement hear the screams, and begin to mill the prototype.
Riding the table saw is the greatest achievement of the era, and is in practice throughout the galaxy.
by ellsworthtoohey January 20, 2018
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Leucotome

A leucotome or McKenzie Leucotome is a surgical instrument used for performing leucotomies, prefrontal lobotomies and other forms of psychosurgery.

Invented by Canadian neurosurgeon Dr. Kenneth G. McKenzie in the 1940s, the leucotome has a narrow shaft which is inserted into the brain through a hole in the skull, and then a plunger on the back of the leucotome is depressed to extend a wire loop or metal strip into the brain. The leucotome is then rotated, cutting a core of brain tissue. This type was used by the Nobel prize-winning Portuguese neurologist Egas Moniz.
I use my leucotome to terrorize Broccoli Rob.
by ellsworthtoohey August 1, 2012
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wedding cone

An obviously conical millitary grade traffic apparatus, that i sloppily spray painted white and deemed it fit for the title of wedding cone,clearly informing it that with great power comes great responsibility, and with great responsibility comes the ever present threat of chains dragging across the floor of your new psychreatic chamber while you are trying to fall asleep.
Hey you antwon, im about to get married, and I need to borrow your wedding cone.

I would, but im making urine cakes.
by ellsworthtoohey July 26, 2011
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