douglas young's definitions

rolling stop

A lame excuse for a cop to pull you over, and only dangerous if done improperly, a rolling stop is when you don't come to a complete stop at a stop sign. This includes slowing down to .0000002 mph to look both ways in an unoccupied industrial district. Basically if your wheel doesn't stop moving, you've done a "rolling stop" in the eyes of the law.

Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Victim: I was hoping you could tell me, and obviously I don't know why you pulled me over otherwise I wouldn'tve done it in front of you.
Cop: You did a rolling stop back there.
Victim: ...back there at my driveway on the cul-de-sac?
Cop: I don't speak French.

by Douglas Young January 13, 2008

go tit

A common Freudian slip through the fingers during a chat session, usually made when one is thinking about sex.

Lucy: See you at 8.
Dave: You go tit.
Lucy: ...what?
Dave: Err, you goat tit.
Lucy: ...WHAT??
Dave: UHH, YOU GOT TITS. OH JESUS! WHY CAN'T I CONTROL MY FINGERS POOPERLY. OH GOD.

by Douglas Young January 9, 2008

swords

Don't fuckin' touch swords!

Swords'll cut your fuckin' hands off!

by Douglas Young October 7, 2007

subtitles

1. A firewall that keeps stupid & impatient people from watching foreign films.
2. What you read during a film when the language is foreign.

Doug: Hey Tom, wanna watch District B13? It's badass.
Tom: Sure... wait... subtitles? Fuck that.
Doug: Goddamn you're such a fag, Tom.

Scott: I need to stop watching British/Irish movies in the theater, they never have subtitles despite how the thick accents practically butcher your typical American English.

by Douglas Young October 8, 2007

basement talker

An individual who is so bad and awkward at conversing that the only logical explanation is that their mind is focused on the fresh dead bodies they've got in their basement. They're thinking about:
- How many they've got
- If anyone knows
- If you know
- If you'd be a good addition to it
- About how much jail time they'd be sentenced to if they were ever caught

Greg: So you cut down trees? Ever have any accidents?
Basement Talker: Yes, many.
(Awkward pause)
Greg's Mind: (Shit, a basement talker. I'd better leave this conversation)
Greg: I have to, um, leave.
Basement Talker: Yes. Leave.

by Douglas Young February 8, 2008

tmz

A celebrity news source comprised of achingly annoying paparazzi and are completely oblivious to how pathetic and boring their news is. They will disturb a celebrity so much to simply get an aggravated reaction to report on. The organization on the whole is like a car crash-- you can't look away (at least for a minute) because of how stupid they are, which is why they're still around.

(Real Example)
TMZ Reporter 1: Johnny Knoxville was at LAX with a stuffed panda bear.
TMZ Reporter 2: What was he doing with a stuffed panda bear?
TMZ Reporter 1: I dunno.
TMZ Reporter 2: THOSE CRAZY CELEBS. PRINT IT!

by Douglas Young January 13, 2008

:DGC

A smiley of a guy fapping. The colon is his mouth, the capital letter D is his giant grin, the G is his two arms, with the right one bent around to grab his penis, which is represented by the squared off inner part of the G, and finally the C are his curvy yet stable legs, which support his fapping.

So you see children, :DGC makes an excellent picture of a man fapping, please bring your homework next class, and remember that :'(GC is what kids look like when they have fapped to a zebra and have realized a horrible truth about themselves.

by Douglas Young October 12, 2008