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douglas young's definitions

concessionist

Someone who works in concessions-- typically at a movie theatre. It's technically not a word according to most dictionaries, and usually gets the red squiggly line from most spell-checkers; but you can refer to this unofficial definition as your own little victory knowing that, as far as the rest of the world is concerned, it's a real word.
Harvard Grad: Excuse me, but a girl who works in your concessions spit in my cup before serving it to me.
Management: Don't you mean a concessionist?
Harvard Grad: That's not a fucking word you imbecile.
Management: (begins making a loogie)...let me see that cup.
by Douglas Young December 29, 2007
mugGet the concessionistmug.

swords

Don't fuckin' touch swords!
Swords'll cut your fuckin' hands off!
by Douglas Young October 7, 2007
mugGet the swordsmug.

faux vibe

When you thought your cell phone vibrated in your pocket but it didn't, and what's worse-- it's not even in that pocket.
Dude I think I need to go to the doctor, I've been getting faux vibes all day.
by Douglas Young December 4, 2007
mugGet the faux vibemug.

derpestrian

A stupid pedestrian.
- Hits the Walk Signal more than once.
- Crosses without a crosswalk at heavy traffic, usually stranding himself on an "island" for many minutes.
- Has not mastered the art of jaywalking.
- Crosses in front of a car who finally gets a break in the traffic he's been wanting to merge with.
Term can be thought of as DERR-pestrian or fake-German like "der pest-rian."
Motherfuckin derpestrian!! Crossin' however you please just 'cause you know you could sue me if I hit you. Bitch.
by Douglas Young November 13, 2007
mugGet the derpestrianmug.

go tit

A common Freudian slip through the fingers during a chat session, usually made when one is thinking about sex.
Lucy: See you at 8.
Dave: You go tit.
Lucy: ...what?
Dave: Err, you goat tit.
Lucy: ...WHAT??
Dave: UHH, YOU GOT TITS. OH JESUS! WHY CAN'T I CONTROL MY FINGERS POOPERLY. OH GOD.
by Douglas Young January 9, 2008
mugGet the go titmug.

chiers

A business in Portland/Stumptown, Oregon that goes around the city apprehending drunks. The drunks are then driven back to Chiers HQ (Aka: Hoopers/Hoppers), temporarily relieved of their possessions, thrown into cells, and kept there until they sober up-- at which point they're given their things back and a free bowl of soup. They will not devote any information to anyone (ever) outside their building, so if you get picked up for being too drunk and wake up the next morning, be sure to call your loved ones when you leave 'cause they're probably worried sick.
Chiers has an 8 o'clock line-up of homeless people waiting for the free soup handed out in the morning.
by Douglas Young October 7, 2007
mugGet the chiersmug.

play it cool

To pretend you're not as anxious as you really are; usually used in terms of dating, deals, or any life-altering events.
Dude let HER call YOU, it's only been two days-- play it cool.
by Douglas Young December 26, 2007
mugGet the play it coolmug.

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