douglas young's definitions

reverse-vasectomy

When a man changes his mind about firing blanks and is willing to have a(nother) kid, then spends the rest of his life making sure the $9,000 was worth it.

My Dad: Well, I'll tell you why I don't want you getting stoned all the time... son, do you know what a reverse-vasectomy is?

by Douglas Young October 6, 2007

swords

Don't fuckin' touch swords!

Swords'll cut your fuckin' hands off!

by Douglas Young October 7, 2007

alpha male

1. The (male) leader of a pack, usually earned his place through instilling fear in others. The pack is usually smarter than the alpha male, but is more afraid to have him as an enemy than a friend. Through evolution, however, the original alpha male behavior is becoming different; what was once fear of the leader himself, has now become fear of whatever the alpha male considers a threat to him. Despite the rank or power the alpha male may achieve through his methods in society, it is still a primitive role to have, due to the selfish nature of his life. Rest assured, if the pack ever had the chance, they would probably remove his role from their society without hesitation.

2. The dudes that pick who they want on their shitty teams in gym class. Arch nemesis of the nerd-people.

1. President Bush is an alpha male, if you know what I mean.
2. Greg, the alpha male, picked Scott for his dodgeball team; everyone thinks it's because Scott is well-built, but really Greg is just a closet homosexual and will jerk off to a picture he has of Scott when he gets home. He will then watch Sex in the City and drink cranberry juice.

by Douglas Young October 6, 2007

chiers

A business in Portland/Stumptown, Oregon that goes around the city apprehending drunks. The drunks are then driven back to Chiers HQ (Aka: Hoopers/Hoppers), temporarily relieved of their possessions, thrown into cells, and kept there until they sober up-- at which point they're given their things back and a free bowl of soup. They will not devote any information to anyone (ever) outside their building, so if you get picked up for being too drunk and wake up the next morning, be sure to call your loved ones when you leave 'cause they're probably worried sick.

Chiers has an 8 o'clock line-up of homeless people waiting for the free soup handed out in the morning.

by Douglas Young October 7, 2007

subtitles

1. A firewall that keeps stupid & impatient people from watching foreign films.
2. What you read during a film when the language is foreign.

Doug: Hey Tom, wanna watch District B13? It's badass.
Tom: Sure... wait... subtitles? Fuck that.
Doug: Goddamn you're such a fag, Tom.

Scott: I need to stop watching British/Irish movies in the theater, they never have subtitles despite how the thick accents practically butcher your typical American English.

by Douglas Young October 8, 2007

District B13

A French film starring David Belle and Cyril Raffaelli. Produced by Luc Besson (The Fifth Element, Leon: The Professional), District B13 is one of the films introducing parkour to the action genre. It features some of those most intense chase scenes you will ever see, none of which use CG. It was written after seeing David & Cyril's stuntman portfolio as an excuse to put the two together in a film. The result is breathtaking, and has even been ripped off in newer movies like Casino Royale's opening chase scene (except again, District B13 didn't use any CG). Go see it, or at least YouTube the opening chase scene.

God damn I wish I could move like they do in District B13, I wouldn't ever need a car if I did.

by Douglas Young October 8, 2007

barbecue

The first thing a cashier will guess if you're buying hot dogs and buns, when really you're just a fucking bachelor.

Cashier: Having a barbecue?
Bachelor: ...no.

by Douglas Young October 27, 2007