7 definitions by doonga
One whose novelistic aspirations blind him/her to his/her inability to spell words, write sentences, describe things, create plots and organize material; one who proudly brings forth a stillborn work.
Jenny: John! There's text on your screen! What happened?
John: Uh, yeah, it's a novel by me fwiend Dacy. He's a f@ck#ng writer, he is.
Jenny: A writer?! (Glances at screen.) Hmm, I think the polite word for Dacy is a bilgescribe.
John: Uh, yeah, it's a novel by me fwiend Dacy. He's a f@ck#ng writer, he is.
Jenny: A writer?! (Glances at screen.) Hmm, I think the polite word for Dacy is a bilgescribe.
by doonga August 1, 2013
A teenage slut, so named after the Drosophila melanogaster, an extensively studied species of fruit fly the females of which commence sexual activity with countless males only 8-12 hours after hatching. A polite alternative to nymphomaniac.
Nurse: Doctor, Sally is here again for another month's worth of Pill prescription.
Doctor: Oh, that little nymp..., er, drosophiliac! Show her in.
Doctor: Oh, that little nymp..., er, drosophiliac! Show her in.
by doonga January 31, 2014
An anatomical cleft that forms a warm, comfortable resting place for seemingly unworldly presences, entities and odors; an ass crack.
Patient: I've been itching back there horribly, doctor.
Doctor: Well, let's take a peep in the fairy hammock.
Doctor: Well, let's take a peep in the fairy hammock.
by doonga May 17, 2013
1) An alliterative expression describing a physically stimulating hand gesture used, typically, by parents or guardians to punish children by striking usually the buttocks with an open palm. (Now outlawed in several jurisdictions.)
2) What painfaced, upright husbands of painfaced, uptight wives dream of doing to sassy, gum-chewing, headphone-wearing young girls (or boys) whose behavior or appearance stirs feelings of envy at having been prohibited the freedoms such youngsters enjoy, such feelings in turn stirring sexual responses that can only be fully released by inflicting on these objects of desire the same form of interdicting assault the aroused party suffered at the same early stage of development.
2) What painfaced, upright husbands of painfaced, uptight wives dream of doing to sassy, gum-chewing, headphone-wearing young girls (or boys) whose behavior or appearance stirs feelings of envy at having been prohibited the freedoms such youngsters enjoy, such feelings in turn stirring sexual responses that can only be fully released by inflicting on these objects of desire the same form of interdicting assault the aroused party suffered at the same early stage of development.
Patient: Doctor, I suffered awfully at the hands of my father - almost daily spankings.
Doctor: Hmm, I see, Mr Carruthers. Tell me, what is the first thing you think when I show you the cover of this Rihanna CD, "Music of the Sun"?
Patient (hands clenched, eyes flashing): Doctor, I want to spank her, yes, SPANK her!
Doctor: Hmm, I see, Mr Carruthers. Tell me, what is the first thing you think when I show you the cover of this Rihanna CD, "Music of the Sun"?
Patient (hands clenched, eyes flashing): Doctor, I want to spank her, yes, SPANK her!
by doonga June 11, 2013
A painful and elocutionarily debilitating medical condition originally identified among pederastic members of the Brothers Hospitallers of St. John of God, brought on by compulsive fellatio performed on unwilling minors.
A doctor's office in 1974...
Doctor: Well, Brother, what might the problem be today?
Patient: Humph-haugh-haugh-maugh-hinh.
Doctor: St. John's jaw again, is it? That's the third time this year, Brother. You really must give it a rest.
Patient: Rhaoum-haugh.
Doctor: Well, Brother, what might the problem be today?
Patient: Humph-haugh-haugh-maugh-hinh.
Doctor: St. John's jaw again, is it? That's the third time this year, Brother. You really must give it a rest.
Patient: Rhaoum-haugh.
by doonga November 8, 2013
1. Doctor: Mrs. Jones, your results are disappointing this month. You really must lose more weight.
Mrs. Jones: Sorry, doctor, it's a bad habit of mine: I get home from dropping off the kids and promptly vacuum the pantry, so to speak.
2. Doctor: Mrs. Jones, your piles seem to be the result of excessive anal dilation. Overly hard stool, perhaps?
Mrs. Jones: It's my husband; he's recently taken to vacuuming the pantry, so to speak.
Mrs. Jones: Sorry, doctor, it's a bad habit of mine: I get home from dropping off the kids and promptly vacuum the pantry, so to speak.
2. Doctor: Mrs. Jones, your piles seem to be the result of excessive anal dilation. Overly hard stool, perhaps?
Mrs. Jones: It's my husband; he's recently taken to vacuuming the pantry, so to speak.
by doonga November 5, 2013
The gargantuanly agonizing aftermath of having been butt fucked by a huge cock so unfeasibly huge it's headed for extinction.
Nurse: That poor young man's anus! Doctor, what WAS that?
Doctor: Yes, nurse, the first case of tyrannosoreass I'd ever encountered myself, even. I recognized it from an old textbook back in med school.
Doctor: Yes, nurse, the first case of tyrannosoreass I'd ever encountered myself, even. I recognized it from an old textbook back in med school.
by doonga May 23, 2013