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dookeyboy's definitions

Palinoscopy

a verbal ass-reaming by Sarah Palin against the lame stream media and gotcha journalism
Dude, I don't watch Faux News much anymore cause every single night it's nothing but one big Palinoscopy.
by dookeyboy November 24, 2010
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telethon

a televised donor call-in event wherein the sponsors keep 75% of the proceeds to line their own pockets, 20% is allocated for administrative costs, and the remaining 5% is given to the charity in question
Dude, I don't have cable and there's nothing on network TV tonight except this fuckin' telethon.
by dookeyboy November 24, 2010
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meter maid

A municipal employee who drives around metropolitan areas stalking and issuing innocent bystanders with parking tickets.

See also revenue police.
Dude, I had to bribe the meter maid with a five dollar bill so he wouldn't issue me a $25 parking ticket!
by dookeyboy November 24, 2010
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jackwagon

a crybaby loser pussy-type who needs to grow some cajones and start acting like a man
Billy: "Dude, I can't get Ronnie to play tackle football with us 'cause he's too afraid of getting hit."

Jimmy: "It doesn't surprise me, he's always been a fuckin' jackwagon anyway."
by dookeyboy November 25, 2010
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Dumpalotopus

1. A philandering herbivorous dinosaur species (full name: Dumpalotopus maximus rex) of the Jurassic era that died out prior to the cataclysmic asteroid event due to its aversion to commitment with the opposite sex.

2. In modern times, used to describe a gigolo type who gets laid often and is rarely with the same babe twice.

See also hit it and quit it
1. At the archaeological dig site we found a complete Dumpalotopus skeleton minus the spine.

2. Dude, Sean gets laid so much from week-to-week with so many different chicks we've resorted to calling him "Captain Dumpalotopus!"
by dookeyboy November 25, 2010
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porn machine

the latest invasive full-body scan X-ray technology utilized by the TSA at American airports
My buddy who's a TSA agent at LAX downloaded a ton of great pics from a couple of their porn machines!
by dookeyboy November 25, 2010
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predictive texting

A feature on many smart phones that often causes one to make unwitting hilarious, retarded, offensive, and/or douchebag-like statements when texting. Especially hard to catch when preoccupied with something else while speed texting.
Michelle broke up with me 'cause while I was watching the game the predictive texting on my phone called her Michaela instead.
by dookeyboy November 25, 2010
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