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dookeyboy's definitions

food stamps

A plastic credit card issued by most states to enable ostensibly poor people to buy cigarettes, beer, tabloids, potato chips, and lottery tickets. Often sold and traded on the black market for drugs, drug paraphernalia, and sex.
My mother hit the daily number for $500 with a lottery ticket she bought using food stamps.
by dookeyboy November 23, 2010
mugGet the food stampsmug.

scampede

A devious Black Friday scam perpetrated by department and electronics stores whereby offering especially low prices on a limited number of goods causes an asscrack of dawn stampede of desperate shoppers.

Most of these suckers are either injured, killed, or simply not fast enough to get in on the good deals, but nevertheless fall into the store trap of maxing out multiple credit cards because they are already there.
My uncle Ray was almost killed in a scampede at BestMacy's CostPlus TargetMart, but he managed to survive with nothing more than a fractured vertebrae while still securing his $.99 Acme toaster.
by dookeyboy March 19, 2011
mugGet the scampedemug.

should of

Ignorant way of saying, texting, or posting on facebook the contraction of should have (should've). Especially pathetic when supposedly educated people use the phrase.
I should of paid attention in high school English class so my participles wouldn't be dangling.
by dookeyboy November 24, 2010
mugGet the should ofmug.

funeral

An expensive gathering of family and friends to observe a corpse, state that the deceased "looks good" in his or her coffin, gossip over how the person died, and then cast lots to divide any remaining assets.

Often many of the attendees haven't had contact with the deceased in years but now believe that appearing at the funeral to show support actually matters to a dead person or the truly bereaved.
Mark: Man, if I hear one more person say that Uncle Ray "looks good" in his coffin tonight during funeral calling hours I'm gonna flip out!

Jake: I know, right?! That bone cancer ate him away and he weighed 47 lbs when he died! Makes no sense!
by dookeyboy December 3, 2010
mugGet the funeralmug.

Hugh Jidette

The fictitious not-tied-to-any-party clown who's already running for President and hopes to bury our kids, grandkids, and great-grandkids with $13 trillion-and-counting in debt that can never be paid off.

As seen on TV commercials and facebook.
Political Ad: "Want massive spending? More government waste? More welfare and bureaucracy? More huge debt? Then vote Hugh Jidette for President in 2012!!!"
by dookeyboy December 7, 2010
mugGet the Hugh Jidettemug.

cholera

a serious disease characterized by female name calling that often leads to fisticuffs
She decked you?! Well, what did you expect her to do after you cholera bitch?!
by dookeyboy November 16, 2010
mugGet the choleramug.

WannaBePresidentVille

A typically delusional state of mind of wannabe politicians who wish to test the waters and gauge a run for President of the United States.

While in this realm these folks typically make frequent trips to early primary/caucus states such as Iowa and New Hampshire, and appear frequently on the glass house Faux News network to espouse their beliefs and cast stones at the current Administration.
Most of Sarah Palin's supporters rode in a crusty old yellow cheese bus to her last political rally in WannaBePresidentVille.
by dookeyboy January 21, 2011
mugGet the WannaBePresidentVillemug.

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