dookeyboy's definitions

porn machine

the latest invasive full-body scan X-ray technology utilized by the TSA at American airports

My buddy who's a TSA agent at LAX downloaded a ton of great pics from a couple of their porn machines!

by dookeyboy November 25, 2010

poelice

The police, as pronounced by many Southerners, including the officers themselves in many instances.

Pronounced "POE lees."

Drug Dealer: "Officer, man... why you tase me, yo?!"

Officer: "I pulled out muh bullhorn and told you to stop back there 20 miles ago. What you 'spect when you runnin' from da poelice anyway?"

by dookeyboy January 7, 2011

food stamps

A plastic credit card issued by most states to enable ostensibly poor people to buy cigarettes, beer, tabloids, potato chips, and lottery tickets. Often sold and traded on the black market for drugs, drug paraphernalia, and sex.

My mother hit the daily number for $500 with a lottery ticket she bought using food stamps.

by dookeyboy November 23, 2010

toddler CEO

The nickname given to facebook co-founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg by blogger Kara Swisher in reference to his young age and relative inexperience in running a behemoth company that could someday be traded publicly.

The toddler CEO shit himself after being informed that his 24% share of facebook could be worth as much as $12.5 billion in an IPO.

by dookeyboy December 6, 2010

scampede

A devious Black Friday scam perpetrated by department and electronics stores whereby offering especially low prices on a limited number of goods causes an asscrack of dawn stampede of desperate shoppers.

Most of these suckers are either injured, killed, or simply not fast enough to get in on the good deals, but nevertheless fall into the store trap of maxing out multiple credit cards because they are already there.

My uncle Ray was almost killed in a scampede at BestMacy's CostPlus TargetMart, but he managed to survive with nothing more than a fractured vertebrae while still securing his $.99 Acme toaster.

by dookeyboy March 19, 2011

Vulcan

A race of pointy-eared ancient humanoids, the most famous of whom is Spock, from a planet of the same name in the Star Trek series. The word could also be used by James T. Kirk to express shock or disbelief in any of Spock's logical thoughts or behaviors that were not clearly comprehended by the Captain.

Kirk: "Doctor, go ask that green slimeball thing if it's possible a human being could have sex with its species."

Doctor: "Damnit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a sex therapist!"

Spock: "I am afraid the Doctor is right, Jim. That would be completely illogical."

Kirk: "Spock, you're questioning my orders?! Are you out of your Vulcan (fuckin') mind?!"

by dookeyboy December 5, 2010

main menu

an ass whoopin' some dude's about to taste for messin' with your shit

Main menu gon' haveta step outside in a sec if I catch you eyein' up my lady one more time.

by dookeyboy November 16, 2010