Definitions by daltonjfk
First-wheeling
To go on a date with oneself.
Lonewolf love and self care to the max. To lay out a spread of charcuterie, wine, and dark chocolate on the river bank; to unicycle into the satin-colored sunset, complimenting yourself on the summer outfit; when you return home, to look in the mirror, tell yourself "my treat," and then to blush.
Lonewolf love and self care to the max. To lay out a spread of charcuterie, wine, and dark chocolate on the river bank; to unicycle into the satin-colored sunset, complimenting yourself on the summer outfit; when you return home, to look in the mirror, tell yourself "my treat," and then to blush.
Now that I’m single I’ll be arguing with myself over who pays the bill and eating all my own popcorn. First-wheeling with no handlebars.
First-wheeling by daltonjfk September 23, 2019
Kim Jong Tune
A song so lit the masses submit to it unconditionally. Individuals of all music tastes have no choice but to adore its fat, wobbling rhythms. To criticise a Kim Jong Tune is a serious cultural heresy.
That fire drops like a nuclear bomb.
That fire drops like a nuclear bomb.
Back in the summer of 2015 I told people I didn’t like “Lean On”. The ensuing social ostracism I endured helped me understand that the song was in fact a Kim Jong Tune.
Kim Jong Tune by daltonjfk September 23, 2019
Bubble bath wrath
Rage experienced particularly by female service-industry workers. Bubble bath wrath is brought on by long days of serving rude customers and prompts the victim to exclaim her need for a bubble bath as soon as she returns home.
After another 11-hour shift at the AT&T booth in the mall, Ashleigh stormed back to her apartment in a fit of bubble bath wrath before eventually calming down in a soapy tub of Himalayan Salts.
Bubble bath wrath by daltonjfk September 17, 2019
Couch pizza
Rogue slices of pizza discovered in the cracks of a couch after a long night of drinking and/or smoking the devil’s cabbage.
Often consumed, though always in secret.
Often consumed, though always in secret.
Couch pizza by daltonjfk September 16, 2019
Bruhquaintance
An acquaintance whom one is always delighted to see, but with whom the relationship never seems to progress beyond gregarious greetings and enthusiastic dapping and hugging.
Occurs frequently at parties. Two bruhquaintances may greet one another with grins and a loud “BRUHHH” but the conversation rarely goes anywhere.
Occurs frequently at parties. Two bruhquaintances may greet one another with grins and a loud “BRUHHH” but the conversation rarely goes anywhere.
“Ty and I always dap up mad when we see each other. He seems like a chiller but we never really talk about anything. He’s my bruhquaintance.”
Bruhquaintance by daltonjfk September 10, 2019