Definitions by creedmoor

Farmer's Wipe 

When you don't have a handkerchief or a tissue, you place your thumb over one nostril and proceed to expel your snot out the other. Also know as: Let the Sidewalk Be Your Handkerchief."

I couldn't find a Kleenex, so I leaned out the window and gave a farmer's wipe.

Farmer's Wipe by creedmoor October 20, 2009

Horse-Toothed Jackass 

One of Sal Governale's numerous nicknames for Howard Stern's producer, Gary Dell'Abate.

"That Horse-Toothed Jackass Baba Booey has enormous choppers and diarrhea breath."

Horse-Toothed Jackass by creedmoor September 8, 2006

Altoids Blowjob 

When someone has both your cock and Callard & Bowser in their mouth at the same time. This creates a heightened sensation during the act of oral copulation. This only works with the mints, not the Altoids Sours.

That Altoids blowjob was curiously strong.

Altoids Blowjob by creedmoor August 25, 2006

Diarrhea of Anne Frank 

And the "Jeopardy" answer is: "What's brown and runs in the attic?"

Q: What smells worse than Gomer's pile?
A: The diarrhea of Anne Frank.

Diarrhea of Anne Frank by creedmoor August 15, 2006

Brights 

The high-beams of you car's headlights.

"Jeez, that jagoff behind me has been driving with his brights on for the past five miles!"

Brights by creedmoor August 14, 2006

Pulling a Sammy 

The showbiz art of upstaging someone. It began when it was Sammy Davis, Jr.'s turn to move down on Johnny Carson's couch to make room for the next guest. WHen that guest said something funny, Sammy would react by laughing loudly, slapping his knee and falling to the floor. The audience would then begin laughing at Sammy and not the guest.

Next to the Candy Man, no one was better at "pulling a Sammy" than Milton Berle.

Pulling a Sammy by creedmoor August 14, 2006

GOLDEN BATON 

Giving a guy a hand job with a lot of lubricant.

The car was too small to fuck in so we bought some Astro Glide at the Walgreen's and Janice gave me a golden baton.

GOLDEN BATON by creedmoor July 15, 2006